Hulk's DVD Reviews

[Kermit The Hulk]

Well, I've done 'em in every forum I've been a member of. So, I might as well post some here. Here is the latest DVD review I've done:

The Greatest Stars Of The 90s
3-disc DVD.



Ah, the 1990s. People were watching very special episodes of Blossom. “The Matrix” was wowing audiences in movie theaters. Superman was dying in the comic books, and comic books almost died with him. And, Bill Clinton was having sexual relations with that intern Monica Lewinsky. It was a wonderful decade filled pogs, light-up sneakers, and Rachael haircuts. It was also a good time for wrestling. By the end of the decade, pro wrestling would be in its biggest boom since the previous decade as the WWF and WCW were viciously waging their Monday Night War and ECW was sneaking into popularity and into the hearts of hardcore wrestling fans. And, it was mostly due to wrestling dropping the kid-friendly act and embracing the raunchy and racy aspects of entertainment, i.e. lots of sex and plenty of violence. It was fun time to be a wrestling fan, as the likes of Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Sting, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, and Mick Foley tore down the house with great matches. Though, sadly, those days are gone as the new millennium took over. The 1990s went the way of the dodo, taking ECW and WCW with it. But, don’t cry! WWE will let you relive those memories with The Greatest Stars Of The 90s, a 3-disc DVD set that features the greatest wrestlers of the last decade of the 20th Century!

Okay, so it’s not a complete retrospective of the 1990s. There are some guys who are left out. The big omission is Goldberg. That man became just as popular as the Rock and Stone Cold. Amazingly, he did it in WCW, when Eric Bischoff was in charge. As we all know, Bischoff wasn’t really good with making new stars. Yet, Goldberg became widely popular at the time, thanks to his undefeated streak. I mean, the guy was palling around with Mark McGwire and starring in a movie Jean Claude Van Damme! Okay, that doesn’t really sound impressive today, but back then it was a huge deal! Another omission I’m surprised to see it Vader. Sure, he wasn’t the biggest (in terms of stardom) wrestlers of the decade, but he was an incredible talent. And, the guy is in two matches featured on the DVD. Hell, he’s on the freaking box! Flip to the inside, and you’ll see Vader giving Shawn Michaels a piggy back ride. Why they chose to leave him off the documentary is beyond me?

SPEAKING OF the documentary, it starts off with your friend and mine, Tazz. He’s our host for the evening, but he isn’t featured in the documentary. There’s another glaring omission: no ECW wrestlers. Hell, Paul Heyman and Mick Foley are the only ECW guy in the doc. What’s the reason for this? The fact that ECW has had several DVDs? That shouldn’t be a factor! ECW was a major player in the 1990s. Couldn’t they have at least done a feature on the whole company, mentioning some of their top talents? But, I digress. We start off with Shawn Michaels. Now, some of this footage is just recycled from his own DVD, but it is a nice chapter. It really shows why Shawn was one of the best WWF Champions of all time: the guy could wrestle his ass off! Shawn was in his prime in the 1990s, and there was hardly anyone better. Pretty much Bret and Owen Hart were the only guys who could give him a run for his money. Just look at the WWF Title Match at WrestleMania XIV. Shawn wrestled with a bad back, yet he was able to do things most guys can’t do with a healthy back. HBK is second to none.

Then, we transition from the smallest WWF Champion of the 1990s to the biggest: Yokozuna. For those of you who don’t remember 1993, Yokozuna was a Japanese sumo wrestler who came to the WWF. In real life, he was a Samoan wrestler named Rodney Anoa’i, nephew of the Wild Somoans, who played the gimmick of a sumo wrestler even though he never actually competed as one. FYI, “Yokozuna” is actually the highest ranking in Japanese sumo wrestling. When he showed up, the guy weighed 505 lbs; but he could move with the speed and agility of a cruiserweight. Sadly, his weight got the better of him, as Yoko ballooned up to 600 pounds. Jim Ross talks about how Rodney had to be sent to the Duke University Weight Loss Center in order for him to lose, but it didn’t work as he snuck out at night to eat fast food. He was also unable to pass a physical required for professional wrestlers by the New York State Athletic Commission. And, there was the embarrassing incident on an episode of RAW in which he broke his leg and had to be carried out on a forklift. Another embarrassing moment featured on Yoko’s chapter is Hulk Hogan winning the WWF Title off of Yoko after he defeated Bret Hart at WrestleMania IX. Though, that’s embarrassing for all us wrestling fans. Oh, I’m bad! Also, amazing, WWE was able to get Randy Savage to do a little commentary on the 1993 Royal Rumble even though HE WAS IN THE MATCH!!!! Those WWE DVD editors are wizards!!!!

Next, we go from one Samoan wrestler to another. And, not just any wrestler, but THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!!!! Yes, the Rock! Though, he wasn’t always the Rock. He started off as Rocky Maivia, and he sucked. As the ultimate babyface, the audience was quickly annoyed by him as the WWF shoved him down the fans throats. Soon came the “Rocky Sucks!” chants. So, Rocky took a little time off, improved his skills, and turned heel by joining the Nation Of Domination. He became the Rock, and he insulted the hell out of the fans. And, the fans loved him! His charisma and sense of humor was allowed to shine, and it won the audience over. As the catchphrases came and the eyebrow was raised, the Rock became one of the most popular wrestlers in WWF/E history. The man was amazing. He got people to pop like hell for an eyebrow! He got an elbow drop to be called the Most Electrifying Move In Sports Entertainment! It’s not really surprising that Hollywood came knocking and made him a movie star.

Then, we go from The Rock to the ladies. This chapter focuses on the females of the 1990s: Sunny, Sable, Alundra Blayze, Chyna, Debra McMichael, etc. You see, in the 1990s, more and more casual fans were watching wrestlers, and one of the things the WWF did to get the casual fans in was to have a lot of sexy woman come out in skimpy clothing. It was the FOX approach, and it worked. I mean, I could watch Sunny circa 1996 in tiny bikini all day. That woman brought into puberty after all. But, not all of the ladies were just eye candy. In the mid-1990s, the WWF had a good women’s division with some great competitors like Blayze and Bull Nakano. However, when Blayze left the WWF for WCW and took the Women’s Title with her and promptly threw it in a trash can on WCW Nitro, it killed the WWF’s Women’s division. However, the popularity of Sable was big enough to bring it back. And, there was Chyna. She became a big star in the late 1990s, mainly because she could wrestler well with men. The woman was in the Royal Rumble and won the Intercontinental Title. Sadly, this chapter just glosses over the ladies. They basically just show clips, and don’t have anyone talking about the importance of the ladies played in the 1990s. I was a little disappointed by this.

Next, we go from sexy ladies to a sexy man. Or, so the documentary says. Anyway, the next wrestler featured is “Big Sexy” Kevin Nash. Now, Nash is an interesting choice. Sure, he had one of the worst drawing WWF Title reigns in history, but when he went over to WCW with Scott Hall, he ended up bringing that company it’s biggest success ever! Sure, it was Bischoff’s brilliant booking of the nWo Invasion that led to that success, but Nash played his role well. Though, he had rocky road to stardom. Nash had been in WCW before 1996, and I’m sure he would like to forget about that. He had to horrible gimmicks: one was Oz, a character based on the movie “The Wizard Of Oz,” because Ted Turner had bough the MGM movie library and needed a way to get people to watch the movie on TBS. So, WCW made Nash a walking-talking ad for Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion. Luckily for Nash, the gimmick didn’t last. Unluckily for Nash, his next gimmick wasn’t much better. He then became Vinnie Vegas, a gambler/mobster who liked to bet on things or something. I don’t really know. I didn’t really see the gimmick, but from what I saw on the documentary, I’m glad I didn’t. Then, Nash went to the WWF and became Shawn Michaels’s bodyguard Diesel. FYI, Shane McMahon is responsible for the “Diesel” name. Eventually, he broke away from Shawn and became the WWF Champion for a year. Also, the KLIQ is mentioned briefly. But, it quickly moves on to Nash going to WCW. Strangely, they didn’t mentioned how much of a bomb Diesel’s WWF Title run was. Nevertheless, we get quite a bit detail on how WCW and the nWo storyline was kicking the WWF’s butt in the ratings. And, even though Goldberg isn’t on the documentary, the ending of his streak is mentioned, mainly because Nash ended it. Also, the Fingerpoke of Doom is shown. Not mentioned but shown.

Now, we go to one of my favorites of the 1990s: Owen Hart. Owen was amazing. He was the best wrestler in the Hart family. Yes, he was even better than Bret!!!! Yeah, I said it! Why!? Because, Owen could do things that Bret couldn’t! And, he was a little more charismatic and better on the mic. God, he was so good at playing such an annoying little heel. That’s one of the reasons his feud with Bret was so great. Now, they do recycle some material from Bret’s DVD, but they still give Owen a good chapter. They mention his 1994 King Of The Ring win and his 2 Slammys. They even show a little of my favorite Owen Hart moment: when he claimed to have won the Best Bow Time Slammy that he was just suppose to present at the 1997 Slammy Awards. Oh, that was fantastic! They also mention the numerous tag teams he formed with the likes of Yokozuna, the British Bulldog, and Jeff Jarrett. I really liked when he teamed with Bulldog mainly for the simmering animosity between the two. They even wrestled a few times while they were tag team champions. And, they talk about Owen’s time in the WWF after Bret left and his time with the Nation Of Domination. I never got why they put him in the Nation; that just seemed a little out of place and unnecessary to me. Anyway, the chapter does end on a down note. Pretty much everyone knows about Owen’s tragic death in 1999. It’s such a shame he died young. He could have wrestled for several more years and gone on to bigger heights, like the WWF Title. Also, this chapter makes me wish WWE would make a DVD just for Owen. I doubt we’ll get it because of his wife’s animosity towards WWE, but it would be great to see one.

Next, we got to the Nature Boy, Ric Flair! Now this inclusion confused me. Don’t get me wrong! Ric Flair is a legend in pro wrestling. And, he had some good matches in the 1990s. But, he’s more associated and was more successful in the 1980s. In fact, the 1990s wasn’t really kind to him as his relationship with WCW dwindled to the point where he and the company were in a lawsuit by 1998. Plus, in the early 1990s, he clashed with the bookers of WCW at the time, which led to him leaving WCW for the WWF and taking the NWA World Title with him. And, he got buried on a weekly basis as the company was dying. Now, some of the material is recycled from the Ric Flair Definitive Collection DVD, but it is a good chapter. They actually admit that it was a mistake for the WWF to not have Flair VS Hulk Hogan at a big PPV, like WrestleMania. Though, it is Triple H who is saying it. All in all, I think they could have done without this chapter, but it doesn’t take away from the documentary.

Now, we go one of the great in ring technicians to one of the great hardcore wrestlers: Mick Foley. Foley is one of the toughest guys I’ve ever seen. His willingness to put his body through hell is what made him so great. Ironically, one of his best gimmicks was when he was anti-hardcore in ECW. He was so great at getting that Philadelphia crowd to hate him for choosing to use technical skills and psychology over steel chairs and barb wire. Of course, the chapter mentions all three of his wrestling gimmicks: Cactus Jack, the badass hardcore wrestler; Mankind, the deranged but loveable freak; and Dude Love, the coolest cat in all the land. And, his fall from the Hell In The Cell is shown. C’mon! It’s the moment that defines his career! It had to be mentioned. His first WWF Title win is also shown. And, they talk about how funny he is. One of the best things for Foley was when the Mankind gimmick changed from serious to comical. It gave us some great moments, like Mr. Socko’s introduction and Mankind teaming up with the Rock. Ironically, Foley’s chapter ends with a match in 2000: the Hell In A Cell Match at No Way Out with Triple H.

Our next chapter is the WrestleCrap portion of the documentary. The worst gimmicks of the decade are shown in the Not So Great Stars of the 1990s chapter. These include: Man Mountain Rock, Bastion Booger, T.L. Hopper, Mantaur, Damien Demento, Oz (yes, this Nash gimmick was so bad that they mentioned it twice), the Yeti, Waylon Mercy (though I disagree with this inclusion), Glacier, the Shockmaster, the Berserker, the Goon, Aldo Montoya, the Oddities, the Repo Man, Duke “The Dumpster” Drosse, Max Moon, Arachniman, and Jean Pierre Lafitte. Again, like with the women, we just get clips and no elaboration. This time, I’m not complaining. We don’t really need Beth Phoenix or CM Punk to tell us why these gimmicks sucked. It’s pretty obvious to tell that just from the clips.

Next, we go from the worst gimmicks in wresting to one of the biggest wrestling stars of all time. The man who is pretty much synonymous with wrestling: Hulk Hogan. Now, just like Flair, Hogan was really bigger in the 1980s. But, I feel he deserves to be included on this documentary since his heel turn in 1996 was one of the reasons that the nWo storyline was so successful. I mean, Hogan had been the biggest babyface in wrestling for over a decade. His heel turn was shocking, and it worked wonderfully. Plus, it made since for the biggest WWF star who happened to be in WCW to join up with Scott Hall and Kevin Nash, two former WWF stars who had invaded WCW. Plus, Hogan was awesome as the Hollywood Hogan character. I actually prefer that character to Hulk Hogan. Besides, Hogan needed to turn heel if he wanted to keep going in wrestling. People were tired of Hulkamania. No one wanted to say their prayers and take their vitamins. His heel turn breathed new life into Hogan’s career. Though, the chapter starts with Hogan’s loss to the Ultimate Warrior at WrestleMania VI and his volatile relationship with Vince McMahon. They even mention Thunder In Paradise. Why? Well, that is how Hogan got into WCW. The show was airing on TNT, a Turner Broadcast channel. Then, we go into Hogan coming to WCW with the tickertape parade at Disney/MGM Studios. Also, WCW didn’t drop the ball that the WWF did: they immediately had Hogan face off with Ric Flair. And, they had some good matches for the WCW Title, thanks mainly to Flair. Though, things cooled off thanks to Hogan taking creative control and basically turning WCW into the WWF. That of course leads to Hogan turning heel. Funny thing: on the DVD, Hogan basically says that he was all for the heel turn. In reality, Hogan had some reservations about turning heel since he was a proven commodity as a face. But, he relented and went along with the heel turn, which did payoff as WCW kicked the WWF’s ass in the ratings for 84 weeks. nWo shirts sold like hot cakes, and Hogan was the talk of the wrestling world again.

Now, we go from the nWo to the WWF’s equivalent, or in some people’s minds rip-off: D-X. Namely, the guy who led them after Shawn left in 1998: Triple H. However, Triple H wasn’t always a degenerate. He first came to the WWF as a blueblood: Hunter Hearst Helmsley, a rich snob gimmick. He won the Intercontinental Title and the 1997 King Of The Ring and brought in Chyna under the gimmick, but he would soon break out from that role. Soon, Hunter began teaming with Shawn Michaels and D-Generation-X was born. Now, Hunter and Shawn were so great at playing obnoxious immature heels. They had such a great goof chemistry with each other. They were some of the first to bring in the raunchy racy stuff that would come to dominate the WWF during the Attitude Era. However, Shawn’s back injury took him out of the business. Triple H kept D-X going with X-Pac, Road Dogg, and Billy Gunn. The second incarnation of D-X gained a lot fo popularity with their “invasion” of WCW and their racy attitude. However, Triple H soon broke out of the immature D-X gimmick by becoming The Game, a serious wrestler who studied pro wrestling, much like the real Paul Lévesque. Now, Triple H gets a pretty good chapter, but a lot of the interviews are recycled from various other DVDs or specials. I can’t even name all the sources they recycled from.

Anyway, we move on to the next chapter: The Best There Is, The Best There Was, And The Best There Ever Will Be! Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Now, Bret is pretty much synonymous with the term technical wrestling. In the 1990s, he definitely proved that. Again, we get recycled interviews from Bret’s DVD, but that doesn’t really matter. They do a good job showing how good Bret was. They show his Intercontinental Title reigns, his WWF Title reigns, his 1993 King Of The Ring win, his international popularity, his feud with Shawn Michaels and Stone Cold Steve Austin, etc. The U.S./Mexico North feud is also mentioned. It was such a weird time in wrestling. Bret would get booed like he raped a baby in America, but in Mexico North, he would be cheered like he’s Superman. And, of course, the Montreal Screwjob is mentioned. And, it ends with Bret’s time in WCW, which isn’t really all that memorable.

Next, we go to the promoters: Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, and Paul Heymen. You see, in the 1990s, things were changing. One of the things that changed was the role of the onscreen boss. Usually, this guy was rarely seen, only when there was some kind of controversy with a match. However, that changed in the 1990s. In WCW, Bischoff acknowledged that he was running the show and was working with the nWo. This made sense in kayfabe as it explained how the nWo was able to get so powerful. In the WWF, Vince McMahon became an onscreen talent because of the Montreal Screwjob. That moment made him the biggest heel in his own company. So, McMahon decided to change his position about his onscreen role. He mainly wanted to be seen as the announcer and run things behind the scenes. But, after the Screwjob, the fans wanted to boo him. So, Vince gave the fans what they wanted, becoming Mr. McMahon. It was acknowledged that he own the company, and he became egomaniacal power hungry who abused his power to keep wrestlers he didn’t like, such as Stone Cold and Mankind, down while helping out those he did like, such as the Rock and Triple H. As for ECW, Paul Heyman was pretty much acknowledged as the guy running the show. He was just as much the face of ECW as Taz or Sabu was. Like the chapters on the women and the crappy gimmicks, this one is just glossed over. We get a few interviews about McMahon, which are recycled from his DVD, and just some clips of Bischoff and Heyman.

Next, we go to Lex Luger. I was surprised to see a chapter dedicated to Luger. He’s not exactly one of McMahon’s favorite people. Though, he does deserve some mention. I mean, this guy shocked the world by showing up on the first WCW Monday Nitro when he was supposed to be contracted to the WWF. Now, they do mention all of Luger’s strengths: his good looks, his chisled body, his decent skills in the ring, etc. Though, Luger is buried a little. The chapter starts out talking about how his time with the NWA/WCW, which led to him winning the U.S. Title four times, with one reign lasting 523 days, the longest U.S. Title reign to date, and winning the NWA Title at the infamous Great American Bash 1991 PPV. Then, we move to him leaving WCW for to join Vince McMahon’s World Bodybuilding Federation. Remember that? If not, lucky you. However, the WBF soon folded, and Luger went on to wrestle for the WWF, first as “The Narcissist” Lex Luger, a typical egotistical gimmick; and then as “The Total Package” Lex Luger, a patriotic gimmick created to counter Yokozuna, who was the WWF Champion at the time. Luger was hyped as the Great American Hope to the threat of Yoko and his Japanese ways. They even gave him a bus: The Lex Express, which Luger traveled the country in, in hopes of turning him into the next Hulk Hogan, which WWE claimed to be a huge success. This all led to a WWF Title Match at SummerSlam 1993. Sure enough, Luger’s all-American ways prevailed. However, he won by a countout. Yet, that didn’t stop Luger from celebrating like he had won the WWF Title. Then, we quickly go to Luger jumping ship to WCW. Luger had promised to stay with the WWF, but Bischoff was able to get Luger to jump ship. This led to a trend of WWF guys jumping ship to WCW. Remember, Hall, Nash, Sean Waltman. They all left the WWF after Luger did. Though, I’m sure Hogan and Randy Savage going to WCW also played a big role in those guys leaving. Anyway, this chapter pretty much makes it look like Lex Luger had all the makings to be a big star; but he just didn’t make it. And, I get the impression that WWE is saying this would have happened if Lex had stayed with the WWF. They don’t really bury Luger; they just say that he could have been bigger if he had chosen Vince over Bischoff.

Next, we go from one WCW star to another: Sting. However, unlike Luger, Sting is really put over. I really respect Vince for putting Sting over as the great wrestler he is even though Sting never worked for him and chose not to come to WWF/E after WCW went bye-bye. I think McMahon respects Sting’s willingness to stand up to Vince and not suck up to him. And, that’s a good thing for us as there has never been a bad thing said about Sting in WWE DVDs. They always put over Sting as the great charismatic baby face that he is. Hell, I’ll go out and say it: Sting is the greatest babyface in wrestling. Even better than Hulk Hogan, mainly because he had a better look and had better wrestling skills. He was so energetic and could really get a crowd behind him. Plus, he had some legendary matches with the likes of Ric Flair, Vader, Ric Rude, etc. And, he was very popular in the early 1990s with his blonde hair and face paint. You couldn’t go to a WCW event in the early 1990s and not see kids with Sting paint on their faces. The one thing that really cemented Sting’s greatness was when he changed gimmicks. In 1996, the energetic surfer dude disappeared after his loyalty to WCW was questioned thanks to a fake Sting working for the nWo. Sting completely reinvented himself as a dark and mysterious figure. Dressed up like the Crow, Sting would just stare down at WCW events from the rafters. For over a year, he didn’t wrestle or say a word to anybody; and he had the fans absolutely mesmerized. This led to a match at Starrcade 1997 between Sting and Hollywood Hogan for the WCW Title. The build to that PPV gave WCW it’s biggest PPV buyrate: 1.9.

We continue with another WCW star: Scott Hall. Though, he wasn’t always a WCW wrestler. Scott Hall was a journeyman wrestler. He wrestled in the AWA under his real name and looking a little like Tom Selleck. He also wrestled in WCW for a little while as the Diamond Studd. Then, he came to the WWF and became Razor Ramon. His gimmick was that of a sleazy Cubano who acted all suave and macho, and he really made it work, which is amazing considering he’s from Minnesota. Hall pretty much created the character, basing it off of Tony Montana from “Scarface.” Razor Ramon was originally a heel, but Hall was so good in the role that the fans started liking him; and the character became a face. Eventually, he won the Intercontinental Title and took part in one of the most famous matches off all time: the Ladder Match at WrestleMania X between him and Shawn Michaels. Even though Michaels stole the show and became associated with the match, it was Ramon who won it. However, Hall’s time in the WWF wouldn’t last long. In 1996, he went to WCW. In fact, it was Hall who started the storyline that created WCW’s biggest success. When he first showed up in WCW, there were no debut vignettes or any warning. On May 27, 1996, he just showed up during a match through the audience, jumped the guardrail, and declared war on WCW. Many people saw this as the WWF invading WCW, and that’s how Bischoff booked in the ensuing weeks, with Nash showing up soon after and having them act like their WWF characters. It was so believable that the WWF sued WCW for trademark infringement, which led to the huge debacle that was Fake Razor Ramon and Fake Diesel. In WCW, however, they enjoyed a lot of success, and Scott Hall became a pretty big star. He was a very charismatic guy and stood out among the nWo.

Next, we go to a wrestler who debuted in the WWF in 1990 and is still going strong today: the Undertaker. He is one of the most original gimmicks out there and has amazingly been able to last for almost two decades. How is this possible? Well, it has to do with Mark Calloway. The man has played the Undertaker perfectly. And, he’s pretty talented in the ring. Not only is he a good power wrestler, but he can also move with great speed and fly over the top rope like a guy half his size. There is also the fact that the gimmick gets tweaked every few years or so. He started out as this Western undertaker. Then, the character was given more supernatural elements to it. By 1997, they full out with the supernatural by putting him in all black and calling him a creature of the night. Then, the character morphed into the Devil worshipping cult leader. Then came the most dramatic change of the character: the supernatural element was dropped, and the Undertaker became a badass biker. First, he was face. Then, he became an even badder heel. And, by 2004, the supernatural element return and has remained ever since. The Undertaker has always had a cool presence about him. He just looks like he can’t be beat. That’s one of the reasons he won the WWF Title a year after he debuted. He’s also never been defeated at WrestleMania. As of this moment, he is 17-0 at WWE’s premiere event.

Finally, the documentary ends with Stone Cold Steve Austin. A lot of WWE’s success has to do with Stone Cold. He was so different from other wrestlers. He wasn’t flashy. He had a bald head and wore black tights. He acted like a heel but was able to become one of the most popular wrestlers with the fans. He pretty much kicked everyone’s ass, whether they were faces or heels. But, Austin wasn’t always Stone Cold. He started out in WCCW and eventually made his way to WCW. There, he formed a successful team with Bryan Pillman, the Hollywood Blondes. There were a great influential team, even though there were only together for a year. After the Blondes, Austin went on to win the U.S. Title on a few occasions. However, by 1994, Bischoff took over and didn’t see Austin as a star. So, he fired Austin over the phone. Luckily for Austin, a former associate from WCW gave him a call: Paul Heyman. Austin went to ECW and began to create the template for Stone Cold by basically cutting vicious promos and skits against WCW. Soon, the WWF came knocking, and there Austin became the Ringmaster and was given Ted DiBiase as a manager. However, that didn’t last. But, soon history would be made. Austin won the 1996 King Of The Ring and cut the infamous Austin 3:16 promo that basically created the Stone Cold gimmick and launched him on the path the stardom. And, he was great in the role of Stone Cold. In my opinion, his best time as Stone Cold was when he was a heel after that promo. I’ve never seen a better heel. He was just so badass, and the crowd despised him. At first. Soon, Austin 3:16 signs began popping up throughout arenas, and his popularity grew. Then, he became a full fledge anti-hero face after WrestleMania 13. Austin was soaring up to the main event, but a neck injury nearly stopped his momentum. During an Intercontinental Title match with Owen Hart at SummerSlam 1997, Austin broke his neck. However, he still showed up on TV despite the neck injury, looking like he wasn’t hurt at all. But, that neck injury would eventually end his career. It caused him to change up his wrestling style, becoming more of a brawler and dropping some of his technical moves. Nevertheless, Austin won the WWF Title and began a revolutionary feud with Vince McMahon. Here you had a wrester feuding with the boss, and no matter what Vince threw at Austin, Austin would come back and flip Vince off. Austin became widely popular, selling out arenas, selling merchandise like nobody’s business, and becoming one of the WWE’s biggest superstars.

All in all, the documentary is good. There is a little revisionist history, and some people are left out. But, it is a good documentary nonetheless. However, the real treats are the special features. On Disc 1, we have several vignettes and promos. These include: Razor Ramon at a restaurant, the Undertaker building a coffin for Yokozuna, the Bret “The Hitman” Hart New Generation vignette, Owen Hart giving a promo inside the steel cage, Shawn Michaels at the WrestleMania XI press conference, a promo from Hunter Hearst Helmsley, a promo from Mankind, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash in “Rome” (actually Denver), the Hart Foundation reunion, D-X reenacting the Montreal Screwjob, the Rock delivering Stone Cold’s eulogy, and Steve Austin talking about the Shockmaster. There are some good promos here. Though, I think they should have put some more famous ones on this disc, like the Austin 3:16 promo and the Four Horsemen Reunion in 1998. Anyway, Discs 2 and 3 have the matches. These include: Hulk Hogan VS Ric Flair at Madison Square Garden in 1991, Bret Hart VS Shawn Michaels for the WWF Title at Survivor Series 1992, Hogan VS Yokozuna for the WWF Title at King Of The Ring 1993, Bret VS Owen at WrestleMania X, Diesel VS Razor Ramon for the Intercontinental Title on an episode of Superstars, Sting VS Vader for the WCW International World Heavyweight Title at Slamboree 1994, Bret VS Diesel for the WWF Title at the Royal Rumble 1995, Alundra Blayze VS Bull Nakano for the WWF Women’s Title on an episode of RAW, Diesel and Shawn VS Yokozuna and the British Bulldog with the WWF, Intercontinental, and Tag Team Titles on the line at the September 1994 In Your House, Owen VS Shawn at the February 1996 In Your House, Shawn VS Vader for the WWF Title at SummerSlam 1996, Mankind VS Hunter Hearst Helmsley in a Steel Cage Match at SummerSlam 1997, Hogan VS Lex Luger for the WCW Title on an episode of Nitro, Stone Cold Steve Austin VS The Undertaker for the WWF Title at SummerSlam 1998, Sting VS Bret for the U.S. Title at Halloween Havoc 1998, and Triple H VS The Rock in a Strap Match at Fully Loaded 1999. There are a lot of good matches on this DVD, Bret VS Shawn, Bret VS Owen, Owen VS Shawn, Shawn VS Vader, Sting VS Vader, etc. Though, they could have left a few off, like the Hogan/Yokozuna match (by the way, I feel sorry for the fan in the front row who showed up dressed as Hogan only to see him lose) and the Flair/Hogan match. I would have put one of their WCW matches on the DVD, like the Bash At The Beach match. In fact, there were a few historic matches from the 1990s that should have been on this DVD, like the Six Man Tag at Bash At The Beach 1996 that featured Hogan’s heel turn, the Stone Cold/Shawn Michaels match at WrestleMania XV, and the Hell In The Cell match with Undertaker and Mankind. Sure they’ve been on other DVDs, but I feel history should take precedence in this case. Also, they could have shown a little more of Yokozuna, Foley, Scott Hall, and The Rock. I was surprised by the inclusion of the Women’s Title Match. I’m not complaining though. I’m glad that WWE thought highly enough of Alundra Blayze and Bull Nakano to put one of their matches on the DVD.

All in all, this is a good DVD. I really enjoyed it, mainly for the nostalgia factor. I was born in 1985, but I don’t really remember the 1980s. And, I started watching wrestling in 1990. I grew up on the New Generation. I matured with the Attitude Era. And, even though I mostly watched the WWF, I caught WCW whenever I could and started paying more attention to WCW when the nWo was getting started. Basically, this DVD is just filled with my wrestling memories; and it was fantastic to relive.

Highlight: The Undertaker saying “Ho, ho, ho!” during the vignette of him making Yokozuna’s casket. He says in such a stoic serious way that it just ridiculous.

Recommended.

[Kermit The Hulk]

Okay, to fill this thing up, this is the first DVD review I ever did:

Led Zeppelin: DVD.



This two-disc set contains live performances of Led Zeppelin. A lot of these performances are rare, mainly because there wasn't much of Led Zeppelin recorded live. Anyway, here is what's on the DVD:

Disc one

Royal Albert Hall - January 9, 1970
"We're Gonna Groove" (King/Bethea) – 3:14
"I Can't Quit You Baby" (Dixon) – 6:25
"Dazed and Confused" (Holmes) – 15:10
"White Summer" (Graham) – 11:54
"What Is and What Should Never Be" (Page/Plant) – 4:02
"How Many More Times" (Page/Jones/Bonham) – 20:02
"Moby Dick" (Bonham/Jones/Page) – 15:02
"Whole Lotta Love" (Page/Bonham/Plant/Jones) – 6:03
"Communication Breakdown" (Page/Jones/Bonham) – 3:40
"C'mon Everybody" (Cochran) – 2:28
"Something Else" (Cochran) – 2:02
"Bring It on Home" (Page/Plant) – 7:33
Atlantic Records promotional clip - February 1969

"Communication Breakdown" (Page/Jones/Bonham) – 2:24

Danmarks Radio (Gladsaxe Teen Club, Gladsaxe) - March 17, 1969
"Communication Breakdown" (Page/Jones/Bonham) – 2:46
"Dazed and Confused" (Holmes) – 9:09
"Babe I'm Gonna Leave You" (Bredon/Page) – 6:46
"How Many More Times" (Page/Jones/Bonham) – 12:20

Supershow (Staines Studio, London) - March 25, 1969
"Dazed and Confused" (Holmes) – 7:31

Tous En Scene (Theatre Olympia, Paris) - October 10, 1969
"Communication Breakdown" (Page/Jones/Bonham) – 2:51
"Dazed and Confused" (Holmes) – 5:12

Disc two

Sydney Showground - February 27, 1972 (Splodge edit)
"Immigrant Song" (Page/Plant) – 4:03

Madison Square Garden - July 27, 28, 29, 1973
"Black Dog" (Page/Plant/Jones) – 5:30
"Misty Mountain Hop" (Page/Plant/Jones) – 4:50
"Since I've Been Loving You" (Page/Plant) – 8:03
"The Ocean" (Bonham/Jones/Page/Plant) – 4:16

Earls Court - May 25, 1975
"Going To California" (Page/Plant) – 4:41
"That's the Way" (Page/Plant) – 6:04
"Bron-Yr-Aur Stomp" (Page/Plant/Jones) – 5:31
"In My Time of Dying" (Bonham/Jones/Page/Plant) – 11:14
"Trampled Under Foot" (Jones/Page/Plant) – 8:14
"Stairway to Heaven" (Page/Plant) – 10:32

Knebworth - August 4, 1979
"Rock and Roll" (Page/Plant/Jones/Bonham) – 3:47
"Nobody's Fault But Mine" (Page/Plant) – 5:45
"Sick Again" (Page/Plant) – 5:08
"Achilles Last Stand" (Page/Plant) – 9:03
"In the Evening" (Jones/Page/Plant) – 7:56
"Kashmir" (Bonham/Page/Plant) – 8:50
"Whole Lotta Love" (Page/Bonham/Plant/Jones) – 7:06
"You'll Never Walk Alone" – 1:21

New York NBC Studio - September 19, 1970
Press Conference – 3:27 (mono)

Sydney Showground - February 27, 1972
"Rock and Roll" (Page/Plant/Jones/Bonham) – 3:06

ABC Get To Know - February 27, 1972
Robert Plant and John Bonham after concert interviews with Jeune Pritchard

BBC2 The Old Grey Whistle Test - January 12, 1975
Robert Plant interview at the Vorst Nationaal in Brussels with Bob Harris (radio) – 3:47

Remasters Promo One - October 1990
"Over the Hills and Far Away" (Page/Plant) – 4:49

Remasters Promo Two - October 1990
"Travelling Riverside Blues" (Page/Plant/Johnson) – 4:12

The performances are amazing, and they look incredible. The DVD is also a great look at how the band changed during the 1970s. If you are a fan of Zeppelin, then this is definitely something you should pick up.

Highlight: The "Dazed and Confused" performance on Supershow. It is very, very, very good.

Highly Recommended if you're a Zeppelin fan.

[Kermit The Hulk]

This is a movie:

Natural Born Killers



You know, I could have started off with a light-hearted comedy, a cool action movie, a wrestling DVD, or a DVD of a rock concert. But, I decided to something wild, anti-social, experimental, sex, drugs, and rock & roll with a little bit of pot, acid, whiskey, and pure insanity thrown into the mix. So, I decided to review Natural Born Killers. It is one of Oliver Stone's finest works. It is very experimental. In fact, the filmmakers call it an art film student movie made by a big budget studio.

The movie tells the tale of Mickey and Mallory Knox (Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis), a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde who prefer killing people over robbing banks. They meet when Mickey delivers meat to Mallory's home. She runs away with him to get away from her sexually and physically abusive father (Rodney Dangerfield). So, Mallory's dad calls the police and has Mickey thrown in prison. But, Mickey escapes, comes back for Mallory, and they kill Mallory's dad and mom and go across the country killing people. The film depicts there murdering spree until they are captured by Det. Jack Scagnetti (Tom Seizmore). They are tried and sent to prison. A year later, Det. Scagnetti meets with the prison's warden, Dwight McClusky (Tommy Lee Jones). These two devise a plan to get rid of the Knoxes: since they are going to be transferred to a mental institution, McClusky has arranged for Scagnetti to transport them so that he is alone with them and can kill them. Meanwhile, Wayne Gale (Robert Downey, Jr.), an journalist who has been following the Knoxes since they became famous, plans to interview Mickey live after the Super Bowl before he is transfered. During the live interview, a riot breaks out, which allows for Mickey and Mallory to escape.

This movie isn't for everyone. Some will like it. Some will love it. Some will become obsessed with it. Some will not like it. Some will hate it. Some will vomit seeing it. Some will get epilepsy from all the fast cuts and flashing lights in the movie. But, it is very good. The film intends to highlight the sensationalized way crimes are depicted in the media and the way some killers have been glamorized by the media. However, the film was ironically criticized for its excessively graphic and violent content. Because of this many people, including many of the film's biggest fans, often seemed to miss the real point of the film: it is a highly stylized critique of violence glamorized by the media as well as an exercise in deconstruction. Nevertheless, it is a good movie.

The DVD extras include bios of the cast and crew; commentary from Oliver Stone; a making of the film documentary called "Chaos Rising;" Charlie Rose interviewing Oliver Stone about the film; a threatrical trailer; deleted scenes, which includes three notable scenes: a courtroom with Ashley Judd testifying against Mickey and Mallory, Wayne Gale interviewing bodybuilding/B-movie stars the Hun Brothers that has the Huns saying how much they respect Mickey and Mallory even though the Knoxes cut off there legs with chainsaws, and Denis Leary giving one of his usual rants inside the prison; and an alternate ending. All in all, it is a very good DVD; but it sure as hell ain't for everyone.

Highlight: I had a tough time choosing. There were so many potential ones: Ashley Judd's deleted scene, the Hun Brothers' deleted scene, Robert Downey, Jr.'s Australian accent, Wayne Gale becoming a killer, Tom Seizmore's pompadore, etc. But, I'm giving the hightlight nod to the deleted scene with Denis Leary, who explains how the Pittsburgh Pirates are responsible for Fidel Castro's rise.

Mildly recommended for those of you who get upset easily. Highly recommended for all you sick f***s out there.

[Kermit The Hulk]

Okay, now here are the four Futurama straight-to-DVD movies:

Futurama: Bender's Big Score



It's been four years since this fine, fine program went off the air. And, NOW IT'S BACK, BABY!!!! Futurama returns in this first of four straight-to-DVD movies. Here's the plot of the film:

NOTE, THIS PLOT IS LONG AND COMPLICATED AND CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!! IF YOU DON'T WANT IT RUIN OR DON'T ASPRIN TO CURE YOU OF THE TIME-PARADOXING HEAD IT WILL CAUSE THEN:



YES!!!! I FINALLY GET TO USE THAT!!!! *dances*

SPOILER ALERT:

SPOILER: Click to show

The film opens with a short, pun-driven explanation that Planet Express (the show) was canceled by the "brainless drones" at the Box (FOX) Network, and has been for two years now. Professor Farnsworth then learns that the same "brainless morons" that cancelled the company have themselves been fired, beaten up, and subsequently ground into a fine, pink powder and that Planet Express is back "on the air".

Following their renewal, the Planet Express crew has a partay, during which Hermes is decapitated by a poorly hung sword and his body crushed by the Planet Express ship. He is rushed to the emergency room, where his head is placed in a jar while his body is repaired. The man that performs the procedure, Lars Fillmore, takes an immediate liking to Leela, much to Fry's chagrin.

During a delivery to the nude beach planet, Leela points out a Bender tattoo on Fry's ass, which Fry didn't know existed. As they rest on the beach, a trio of nudist scammer aliens go around the beach asking for e-mail addresses, using flimsy excuses to get the entire Planet Express crew to sign.

Upon returning to Earth, the entire crew is sent hundreds of spam messages, which they all fall for. Bender is even infected by a virus. The scammers then show up at the door, having purchased Planet Express through the Professor's stolen personal information. Bender's virus is also their doing, causing him to obey them without question. As they continue scamming Earth, the scammers are drawn to the tattoo on Fry's ass, which is revealed to contain the binary code for paradox-correcting time travel. Though Nibbler, who reveals himself at the discovery, explains that using the code could destroy the universe, they ignore his warnings.

Using the time-travel code, the scammers have Bender steal every valuable object in human history, since time-travel is one-way and Bender, being an unaging robot, can simply wait for the appropriate day in the limestone cavern beneath Planet Express. Meanwhile, Hermes asks Bender to travel back in time and kill an earlier version of himself for a replacement body, since repairs to his current one are delayed by the head museum being scammed. The Professor, having analyzed the time-travel code, discovers that the "doom field" is what corrects the paradoxes, ensuring that any duplicates created as a result of time travel meet their end eventually. The Professor insists that, because of this, Hermes' duplicate body is doomed.

Once Bender has stolen everything of value from history, the scammers decide to destroy the time-travel code by killing Fry and blanking Bender's memory. Fry uses the time code to escape to January 1, 2000, the day he was frozen, and Bender is sent back to kill him. While waiting for Fry, Bender creates a duplicate of himself when he needs to use the bathroom. The duplicate Bender catches Fry as he appears in the past and attempts to kill him, only to have his feelings for Fry cause an overload. Fry shoves him in a cryo-tube before he can explode. Fry leaves by the time the original Bender walks out of the bathroom, and Bender spends the next twelve years hunting Fry, eventually blowing up Panucci's Pizza when Fry walks inside.

Once Bender returns to report his success, the scammers wipe his memory and the virus forcing him to obey their commands. When the crew holds a funeral, Fry is revealed to be alive and well, having also created duplicate of himself, which Bender killed, while he hid in another cryo-tube and came back to the future. Nibbler destroys the time travel tattoo to keep the scammers from abusing it further.

Leela and Lars, having had several dates, decide to get married. At the wedding, Hermes' body is crushed by a chandelier, which the Professor announces was bound to happen because the body was a duplicate. This announcement suddenly makes Lars nervous, and he calls off the wedding.

The scammers eventually trick Earth President Richard Nixon into selling Earth itself, forcing everyone to evacuate to other planets. To retake the planet, Leela assembles a fleet with the help of Nixon and Robot Santa. Despite the scammers having built a network of solid gold Death Stars around Earth, their fleet is victorious thanks to Hermes, who has the Professor wire him into the battle computer so he can coordinate every ship. The scammers threaten the crew with a doomsday device they had Bender steal, but fail to realize that Bender stole it back after being released from their control. The crew fires the device at the scammers' ship, completely destroying it.

Fry, seeing that Leela is still unhappy that Lars left her at the altar, tries to get her back together with Lars. The reunion is cut short by Nudar, the lead scammer, who survived the doomsday device thanks to his doom-proof vest. Nudar is drawn to Lars, claiming that the time-travel code still exists. Lars tricks him into approaching the cryo-tube with the Bender on overload, and once that Bender is released the explosion kills them both. The explosion singes off some of Lars' clothing, revealing the time-travel tattoo. A flashback explains that Lars is actually Fry's duplicate, having survived Bender's attack in 2012, of which the resulting fire permanently burned off his hair and injured his larynx, changing his voice. Upon realizing that he was Lars, the duplicate froze himself to return to the future and be with Leela. He called off the wedding after realizing he could never be with Leela, since as a time duplicate he was doomed.

During the funeral, Bender removes the tattoo from Lars and travels into the past to place it on the Fry frozen in cryo-sleep. Upon returning from the cavern below the Planet Express building, Bender tells all of his copies to come up with him instead of emerging when they were logically supposed to. The army of Benders causes a giant tear in the universe.

END OF SPOILERS!!!! YOU MAY RESUME READING!!!!

The movie is hysterical. There are a lot of good jokes. Plus the return of many recurring characters, like the Nibblonians, Fry's dog Seymour, Barbados Slim, Robot Santa, the God space entity, Al Gore (played by himself), Kwanzaa-bot (Coolio), the Hedonism Bot, Richard Nixon, Headless Spiro T Agnew, the Harlem Globetrotters, and many. Sadly, there were a lot characters missing and underused. It took forever for Zapp Brannigan to show up, and Kif did nothing but warm up Zapp's thighs on Neptune; trust me, it's less than it sounds. The Omicromians were just in the background of Leela's weding. Also, where were Amy's parents, Roberto, Calculon, and the Robot Devil! Hopefully, they will have more of these characters in the other three movies. Despite these flaws, the movie is hilarious. And, we got some new characters, like the head of Charle De Gualle and the Chanukah Zombie (Mark Hamill). The plot is a little complicated, but it's still better than most the movies released these. And, the subplots are terrific, good enough in fact to be separate episodes.

Plus, the DVD has some great special features: commentary from creators Matt Groening and David X. Cohen, Billy West, John DiMaggio, Phil LaMarr, Claudia Katz, Dwayne Carey-Hill, and Ken Keeler; a live comic book reading at the San Diego Comic-Con that explains what Leela, Fry, and Bender having been doing for the last few years; a full-length episode of the future's most popular show EVERYBODY LOVE HYPNOTOAD; three deleted scenes: one has Bender in the past looking for Fry in Monte Carlo, a scene featuring the Robo-Mafia, and a limbo contest between Hermes and Barbados Slim; an animated promo for "An Inconvenient Truth" featuring Bender and Al Gore (comes with commentary with Al Gore, Groening, and Cohen); Bite My Shiny Metal X, a math lecture on THE MATH OF THE FUTURE!!!!; 3D models and turnarounds; the original first draft of the script; design sketches of the new characters; and the original 5 minute San Diego Comic-Con promo. The features are great, funny, and imformative.

All-in-all, this is a great DVD for Futurama fans. If this is your first look at Futurama, then you picked the wrong time to get into it. You'll just be confused and discombobulated. I would suggest go watch some of the first episode and then go back and watch this DVD. But, for you Futurama fans, GO OUT AND BUY THIS NOW!!!!

Highlight: Everybody Loves Hypnotoad. This episode is great. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll be scared, but most importantly, you will ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD!!!!



Highly recommended, especially for Futurama fans.

[Kermit The Hulk]

Futurama: The Beast With A Billion Backs



Since I did a review of the first Futurama movie, it just makes sense to do one of the latest one. Anyway, the last one, “Bender’s Big Score,” ended with Bender causing all his copies to not come up when they were suppose to, thus creating a huge rip in the universe. This one picks up a month after that event. Here’s the plot, though I should warn you:

THIS PLOT IS LONG AND COMPLICATED AND CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!! IF YOU DON'T WANT IT RUIN, OR DON'T WISH TO FEEL THE EVERLASTING LOVE OF YIVO, THEN:

SPOILER: Click to show

After a month of inactivity following the events of Bender's Big Score, having resulted in the universe being ripped apart, people decide to go on with their lives. Amy and Kif get married, and Fry starts a new relationship with a girl named Colleen. However, it is not long before he realizes that Colleen has four additional boyfriends. Fry is unable to accept that she can't settle for one man and breaks up with her.

Professor Farnsworth mounts an expedition to investigate the anomaly, beating his archrival Wernstrom in a game of "Deathball" to win the right to do so. When Bender is sent to explore it, his touch causes the anomaly to emit a shockwave, which sends the entire crew flying aimlessly into space. Farnsworth and Wernstrom discover that only living beings can pass through the anomaly unaffected; electrical things such as robots are destroyed. Before they can initiate another expedition, Zapp Brannigan is commissioned to destroy whatever is on the other side.

Meanwhile, both Fry and Bender feel alone and unwanted. Fry, in his depression, sneaks aboard Zapp's ship just before it takes off so that he can find solace on the other side of the anomaly; Bender, on the other hand, is approached by the fabled League of Robots, a secret society of robots led by his hero Calculon, and quickly becomes a very prestigious member due to his perceived hatred of humans.

As Fry enters the anomaly, Zapp's plan of attack unsurprisingly goes awry, and Kif is accidentally killed in the process, much to Amy's grief back on Earth. While drifting through space on the other side, which contains another universe, Fry comes across a colossal, one-eyed, tentacled creature, which begins forcing its appendages through the anomaly. The tentacles begin attacking everyone on Earth, and there is absolutely no stopping them as they are made of electromatter, which can only be harmed by other electromatter. Fry returns to Earth, having been attached to one of the tentacles, and tells everyone to submit to them, as he has fallen in love with the creature they're attached to. Fry becomes the pope of a religion worshipping the tentacles. The tentacles begin attaching themselves to the back of everyone's necks, causing them to love the creature as well.

Bender, meanwhile, believes that the League of Robots should uphold a strict no-humans policy being that he feels so insignificant around them. However, when he assists his friends in eluding the tentacles, he is caught red-handed by the other members. When Calculon calls his bluff about hating humans, he challenges Calculon to a duel in which he breaks the rules. Calculon is so outraged by his behavior that he resigns from the League, inexplicably naming Bender its new leader.

While outrunning the tentacles, Zapp talks Amy into sleeping with him to ease the pain of Kif's death before tentacles bond with them both, leaving Leela as the last living person in the universe unattached to a tentacle. She examines a fragment of tentacle that snapped off trying to catch her and discovers that that the tentacles are actually reproductive organs. She reveals this to everyone at a universal religious gathering just as the creature, calling itself "Yivo", speaks for the first time. Yivo admits that mating with everyone in the universe was its original intention, but explains that it is now truly in love with them. As a sign of good faith, Yivo resurrects Kif, who reunites with Amy, and takes its tentacles out of everyone.

Yivo takes everyone in the universe out on a date at the same time. Though the night goes well, everyone feels that Yivo has made no commitment and decide to break up with it. Before they can do so, however, Yivo proposes to them. Everyone is so touched that they accept, entering the anomaly and moving onto Yivo's body via golden escalators; around this time, Bender organizes an army of robots to take over the world and rebuild his human-hating reputation in the League, only to witness humanity leave willingly, which makes Bender lonely, as well as stagnating the robot population, who are built to serve humans. As the robots inherit Earth, everyone else is made to promise never to make contact with other universes. Fry, however, cannot help but write a letter to Bender back on Earth, which is sent without Yivo knowing. Leela doesn't trust Yivo's motives, but when she sees that everyone is happy with it, she eventually comes to accept Yivo.

Bender receives Fry's letter and finds that it is made of electromatter, so decides to set out and "rescue" his friend. He and his army harpoon Yivo from beyond the anomaly and drag it into their own universe where they attack it. Fry convinces Bender to spare Yivo, but Yivo discovers that the robots' weapons are lined with the electromatter from Fry's letter, allowing them to harm it. Since Fry broke his promise to never make contact with any other universes, Yivo breaks up with everyone. Yivo finds consolation with Colleen, and they begin a single relationship as they head back to the other universe together through the closing anomaly.

Everyone laments how they will never know love or happiness with Yivo again. Bender assures them that what they experienced was not love, as love doesn't share itself with the world, or so he claims. Bender shares his love with Fry and Leela by giving them a big hug, which strangles them.

END OF SPOILERS!!!! YOU MAY RESUME READING!!!!

This was a very funny movie. It featured some characters that weren’t heavily featured in “Bender’s Big Score”: President Nixon, Hedonismbot, Zapp Brannigan, and Kif have bigger rolls; plus, we get more of Calculon, The Robot Devil, Lrrr, Amy’s parents, Zoidberg’s uncle, and more. It also features some new characters: we meet Kif’s parents, Brittany Murphy appears as Fry’s new nonmonogamous girlfriend Colleen, Stephen Hawking appears as his own head in a jar, and David Cross plays the title character, The Beast With A Billions Backs, AKA Yivo. As for the plot, it’s pretty weird. It has to be the strangest romance movie I have ever seen. I mean, you have a relationship between every living being in the universe and a giant tentacled alien. And, Bender’s dickish ways reach an all-time high, but it is done out of love for Fry. So, it’s kind of sweet. But, the movie ends on a bit of a downer. Nevertheless, it is still quite good. In fact, I preferred it to “Bender’s Big Score.” The plot isn’t as complicated as its predecessor. I found it to be a little funnier than the previous movie. And, it has DEATHBALL!!!! What’s not to love?

The special features include: commentary by Matt Groening, David X. Cohen, Billy West, John DiMaggio, Maurice LaMarche, Michael Rowe, Claudia Katz, Peter Avanzino, and Lee Supercinski; Futurama: the Lost Adventure (they basically took footage from the Futurama Videogame and made it into an episode); Deleted Scenes; Storyboard animatic (30 minutes of the film in storyboard form); Blooperama (footage of the cast doing the voices for their characters); 3D models with the animators discussing how they were made; A Brief History of Deathball (it’s a little disappointing; they just explain how they came up with Deathball instead of giving us a fictionalized history that I would have preferred); David Cross explaining his character and eating popcorn; and a preview of the next Futurama movie, “Bender’s Big Game” (

SPOILER: Click to show

Basically the crew gets stuck in a real life giant Dungeons and Dragons game

). While this movie may have been better than the last, I preferred the special features of the last DVD. They were a lot funnier; these seem more serious and more focused on how the movie was made. But, I still enjoyed this DVD: a definite recommend from me. Though, I just wish there had been more Hypnotoad:



ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD!!!!

Highlight: there’s a deleted scene in which Scruffy gets possessed by Yivo and says “The day of reckonin’ is comin’…I reckon.” I just found it hilarious!

Recommended, mainly for the movie, and a definite buy for Futurama fans.

[Kermit The Hulk]

Futurama: Bender's Game



Yeah, this is another review of a straight-to-DVD Futurama movie. Yeah, I’m gonna review them all! Big whoop! Wanna fight about it? No, well then, I’ll continue:

THIS IS ANOTHER LONG DETAIL SYNOPSIS OF THE PLOT OF THE MOVIE!!!! IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE AND DON’T WANT THE MOVIE SPOILED FOR YOU, THEN:

SPOILER: Click to show

Due to an apparent shortage of dark matter, which is used to power starships, fuel prices have begun to rise, prompting Professor Farnsworth to prohibit flying the ship unless absolutely necessary. However, Leela has begun to develop anger issues, leading her to enter the ship in a demolition derby. As punishment for wasting precious fuel, as well as a means to control her temper, Leela is forced to wear a shock collar that activates whenever she has a violent thought. Meanwhile, Bender feels left out when he sees Cubert and Dwight playing Dungeons & Dragons and can't play because robots are not installed with imaginations. Trying as hard as he can, Bender manages to imagine himself as a medieval knight named "Titanius Anglesmith" and joins the game. However, since he was never meant to have an imagination, Bender believes himself to be a real knight in the magical world of "Cornwood" and, after being subdued during a rampage through the city, is sent to the HAL Institute, a robot insane asylum.

Farnsworth learns that Mom, who controls the dark matter industry, has amassed a record-breaking fortune despite investing heavily on her dark matter mine in Alaska. As it turns out, the "shortage" is a ploy Mom is using for profit. Farnsworth reveals that when he was still working for Mom many years ago, dark matter was a completely useless substance. While experimenting with it, he inadvertently produced two crystals: an energy crystal that turned dark matter into fuel, which Mom took for herself, and an opposite "anti-backwards matter" crystal, which Farnsworth kept hidden. Farnsworth says that should the two crystals ever meet, they would render dark matter useless once more. The anti-crystal, now believed to be missing, is currently being used as a 12-sided die in the kids' game. Learning this, Mom sends her sons Walt, Larry, and Igner to retrieve it, but Farnsworth manages to find it first, and he, Fry, and Leela take it to Mom's dark matter mine to put an end to her plans.

Infiltrating the mine, the crew learns that it is actually a farm where Nibbler and countless other Nibblonians are forced to excrete unlimited amounts of dark matter. The three are spotted by Igner who, having overheard a startling secret Mom revealed about him to Walt and Larry, helps them escape his brothers. They confront Mom with the energy crystal and try to bring the two crystals together, but Farnsworth is forced to swallow it to keep it safe from Mom, who threatens to remove it with laxatives. While this happens, the crystals cause all dark matter in existence to resonate oddly, including the matter Bender had stored within himself, having collected it as "treasure" earlier during his insane crusade. While his imagination is being removed, it reacts to the dark matter resonance and creates the realm Cornwood an alternate universe, sending him, the whole Planet Express crew, Mom and her sons into it.

Only Fry and Leela are shown emerging in Cornwood with the anti-crystal; not only that, but Leela has transformed into a centaur, and no one else there seems to have any memories of the real world. They are met by an armored Bender in his "Titanius" persona, who names his friends "Frydo" and "Leegola," respectively. The three are pursued by Mom's sons, now named Waltazar (Walt), Larius (Larry), and Ignus (Igner); in the ensuing confrontation, Frydo accidentally drops the anti-crystal which rolls like a die and lands on a 7, banishing their pursuers to a swamp. They meet up with the Great Wizard Greyfarn (Farnsworth) and learn that the anti-crystal, or the "Die of Power," was created by the evil sorceress Momon (Mom), who hopes to re-obtain its immense power. To stop her, the heroes must travel to Momon's lair in the Geysers of Gygax and cast it into the molten plastic from where it was molded, which is the only way to destroy it. At the start of their quest, the group is stopped by an intersexual centaur named Hermaphrodite (Hermes) who promotes his/her people's nonviolent lifestyle, despite being master archers. He/she refuses to let the group pass through their land, but is such a wimp that the group is able to pass anyway.

The heroes decide to traverse the Cave of Hopelessness, home of the dreaded Tunneling Horror. Aiding them is Gynecaladriel (Amy), Queen of the "Water Nymphos" with the ability to seduce anyone. The group is stopped by Zoidberg, now a giant lobster-like creature. Leegola assumes Zoidberg to be the Tunneling Horror and brutally slays him in cold blood, only to learn he is not the same monster. Wracked with guilt over killing an innocent creature, Leegola abandons her friends just as the real Tunneling Horror, a giant worm, emerges, but not before accidentally decapitating Zoidberg by casting her sword aside. Frydo rolls the Die of Power which lands on a 3, which turns Frydo into a giant and allows him to defeat the Tunneling Horror. Frydo begins to grow obsessed over the Die and becomes a mad, impish creature. After a botched attempt to murder his friends, Frydo flees.

As Leegola learns the ways of peace from the centaurs, the others travel to Wipe Castle to amass an army against Momon, only to learn Roberto, as its insane king, had sent it on a pointless suicide mission, leaving the heroes to defend Wipe Castle alone as Waltazar and Larius besiege it. Learning that her friends are in trouble, Leegola regains her will to fight and rallies the centaurs into an army, swiftly lifting the siege. Frydo, meanwhile, is met by Zoidberg's still-living head, having sprouted tentacles and survived on its own after being cut off, who offers to help Frydo destroy the Die of Power. Reaching the Geysers of Gygax, Frydo finds he is too attached to the Die to destroy it, so Zoidberg bites him to help him let it go. As Frydo drops the Die, Momon turns into a dragon to stop him. The Die rolls on a 12 which turns Frydo into a dragon as well, and he battles Momon as his friends arrive. Ignus, in his attempt to help the heroes flee from danger, reveals that, having overheard from Momon, he is Greyfarn's son, meaning Igner is Farnsworth's son in the real world. Emotionally overwhelmed, Greyfarn falls from the heroes' perch and lands on Zoidberg who, in his temptation, had stolen the Die of Power, allowing Momon to obtain it and causing Cornwood to collapse on itself.

Everyone is suddenly sent back to the real world, regaining their original forms and memories. With the anti-crystal back in his stomach and Mom threatening to remove it again, Farnsworth asks to hug his son Igner, instinctively determining Igner had swallowed Mom's energy crystal in defiance. Their embrace brings the crystals in their stomachs close enough to render dark matter useless and effectively ruining Mom's dark matter empire. As a temporary substitute for fuel, the Planet Express crew uses the captive Nibblonians like sled dogs to pull their ship home.

END OF SPOILERS!!!!

I liked this movie a lot. It is the best Futurama movie yet; I’ll reserve that judgment for when the fourth one comes out. Sure it doesn’t have a lot of the cool secondary characters (no Zapp Brannigan, Kiff, Hedonismbot, President Nixon’s head, the Robot Devil, etc.), but it does feature some characters that weren’t in the first two movies, like Mom, her sons, Roberto, the robots from the episode “Insane In The Mainframe” (the episode in which Fry and Bender are sent to the HAL Institute for Criminal Insane Robots), Cubert, etc. This movie is very different from the first two. It’s not as confusing as “Bender’s Big Score” with its confusing time paradox filled plot. And, it’s much more exciting than “The Beast With A Billion Backs.” I should point out that I enjoyed the second movie much more than the first, but I do that there were quite a few Futurama fans who felt the opposite. Well, have no fear, this movie is better than the third one. It is pretty much a straight forward adventure with some good references and parodies of Dungeons And Dragons and The Lord Of The Rings. Basically, if you’re a huge nerd, then you’ll love this movie. Another thing I like about this movie was that it didn’t really focus one or two characters. This was more of an ensemble movie. There was only one real subplot: Leela trying to control her anger issues; and that ended up tying back to the overall plot. However, it was more tied in with the plot than Hermes getting decapitated in “Bender’s Big Score” and Amy and Kiff getting married and breaking up in “The Beast With A Billion Backs.” Those were loosely tied to the plot, whereas this subplot end up having a big effect on the end of the movie. Though, I did have one problem with the movie: I felt it took too long to get the magical D&D-like world. That part should have taken up most of the movie as it was more interesting and had funny and sexier moments. Other than that, I enjoyed this movie very much.

The special features include audio commentary by Matt Groening, David X. Cohen, Billy West, John DiMaggio, Tress MacNeille, Michael Rowe, Claudia Katz, and Dwayne Carey-Hill; storyboard animatic, which is basically the rough storyboard animation of the first 20 minutes of the film; Futurama Genetics Lab, in which to take two characters from a selection (Fry, Leela, Bender, Professor Farnsworth, Dr. Zoidberg, Morbo, and the Hypnotoad), select them, merge them together, and get a photo of what it would look like they had a kid; D&D&F (Dungeons & Dragons & Futurama, which is a featurette in which David X. Cohen, Eric Kaplan, and Mike Rowe (three of the writers of the film) talk about and show scenes of D&D references throughout the show and then play D&D ; How To Draw Futurama In 83 Easy Steps, in which the animators show you how to draw the Futurama characters; 3-D models of the ships in the demolition derby scene with animator discussion; a deleted scene, in which the Cubert and Dwight (Hermes’s son) go get some “ice cream” that taste like “strawberry”…yes, it’s “strawberry” alright; Blooperama 2, which is outtakes from the voice recording for the film (sadly, this one isn’t as long as the one from “The Beast With A Billion Backs”; I guess they didn’t make as many mistakes in this movie); an anti-piracy warning from Bender; and a sneak preview of the fourth Futurama film “Into The Green Wild Yonder” (

SPOILER: Click to show

I couldn’t really tell what’s going to happen in this movie, but I think that there is some kind of apocalypse going on; what I do know is that it has Zapp Brannigan and the Robot Mafia.

) The special features are much better than the ones from “The Beast With A Billion Backs,” but they’re not as good as the ones from “Bender’s Big Score.” All in all, this is very good DVD. However, it needed to focus more on one specific character: the Hypnotoad!



ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD!!!!

Highlight: Leegola and Gynecaladriel’s kiss. I found it strangely erotic. I said EROTIC!!!!

Recommended, especially for Futurama and Dungeon and Dragons’ fans.

[Kermit The Hulk]

Futurama: Into The Green Wild Yonder



Well, since I did the other three Futurama movies, I might as well do a review for the final one. And, this is it. This is the end. With no new Futurama movies or episodes in production, this is pretty much the series finale of Futurama. So, let’s get to it. First:

THIS IS ANOTHER LONG DETAIL SYNOPSIS OF THE PLOT OF THE MOVIE!!!! IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE AND DON’T WANT THE MOVIE SPOILED FOR YOU, THEN:

SPOILER: Click to show

The movie begins with a shot of the deepest regions of outer space. A mysterious green radiation emerges from a black dwarf star, causing DNA molecules to form on an asteroid in a nearby violet dwarf star system. The scene then cuts to Mars Vegas, launching the opening musical number with the title screen saying "The Humans Shall Not Defeat Us" in Alien Language 1.

The Planet Express crew visit Amy's wealthy parents Leo and Inez, who are busy destroying the "old" Mars Vegas and constructing a newer, more extravagant one. A group of eco-feminists led by Frida Waterfall protest the resulting destruction of the environment, leading to an accident where a piece of Frida's jewelry lodges inside Fry's brain. The destruction upsets Leela also, but Leo attempts to assure her that he has received proper clearance -- by bribing Professor Farnsworth. Unimpressed, Leela saves a Martian muck leech, the last of its species, from the construction site. To compensate Fry, Leo offers him a free entry to a poker tournament and the rest of the crew a free vacation.

At the new Vegas, Fry begins to hear voices in his head. He meets a transient named Hutch, who explains that they are both telepaths and advises him to wear a tinfoil hat to stop the constant flow of voices. The encounter ends with Hutch admonishing Fry never to reveal his powers to anyone and to beware of the "Dark Ones". Meanwhile, Bender begins an affair with a performing bot named Fanny and arouses the suspicions of her husband, the Donbot. After defeating Fry to win the poker tournament, Bender attempts to elope with Fanny, but a stern warning from the Donbot (being machine-gunned at close range and buried a few times) forces him to quit the affair.

During a round of miniature golf with the crew, Leo reveals his plan to destroy a chunk of the galaxy and build the universe's largest miniature golf course. Farnsworth and the crew survey the proposed site and discover the asteroid from the opening sequence, now teeming with primordial life forms. Over Leela and Fry's objections, Farnsworth approves the project. After a botched protest leads to the accidental death of Vice-President Spiro Agnew, Leela and the eco-feminists go into hiding. Leela convinces the eco-feminists to take radical action and leads them on a string of crimes against Leo's projects. Leela returns to Planet Express one last time to retrieve her leech and runs into Fry, who unexpectedly offers his blessing; the two of them share a tearful goodbye.

Hutch takes Fry to the hideout of the "Legion of Mad Fellows", led by the No. 9 man. No. 9 explains that the Legion are a secret society of tinfoil-wearing telepaths who have been tracking a resurgence in the life-giving force known as the "Chi", the mysterious green radiation shown at the beginning of the film. They believe that the violet dwarf star holds the key to the revival of extinct species and the dawn of a new Green Age; because Fry's mind is immune from the psionic powers of the Dark Ones, he alone can save the star. To conceal their existence and knowledge from the Dark Ones, the Legion swears Fry to secrecy. Fry then infiltrates Leo's empire as a new security guard.
Leo enlists Zapp Brannigan and Kif Kroker to apprehend the eco-feminists; jealous of Leela's growing criminal record, Bender joins in. At the golf course, Bender bugs Fry's cell phone, while an argument leads to Amy denouncing Fry as a traitor and disowning her father. Fry later runs into Frida and asks her to take a discreet message of support to Leela, but an unseen Dark One learns of the message at the eco-feminists' new hideout on Mars and psionically murders Frida. The remaining Planet Express employees (Farnsworth, Zoidberg and Hermes) attempt to deliver a fence to Leo, but are intercepted by the eco-feminists (now joined by Amy, LaBarbara Conrad and others) and imprisoned while the feminists commandeer the Planet Express ship. At the hideout, the eco-feminists discover Frida's corpse. Amy suspects foul play by Fry, and Leela calls Fry to clarify things.

At a Legion meeting on Mars, No. 9 explains to Fry the evolutionary origins of the Dark Ones, a malevolent species devoted to the destruction of all life, and the Encyclopods, a now-extinct species devoted to the preservation of the DNA of all endangered life forms and the recreation of species from its collection. No. 9 then explains that the violet dwarf is the only remaining Encyclopod egg. The lecture is interrupted by Leela's call, whereupon Fry realizes that the Dark Ones have murdered Frida. Fry and Leela arrange a rendezvous which is ambushed by Brannigan in the Nimbus; Leela escapes in the Planet Express ship and abducts Fry, convinced that he is a traitor. Brannigan pursues them, and after a chase through Leo's golf course and past the now-vibrant violet dwarf system, the eco-feminists are caught, convicted and sentenced.

Fry arranges a third meeting with the Legion, who explain that Fry needs not only to stop the imminent implosion of the violet dwarf but also to identify and thwart the Dark One who is sure to be present. Though no one knows the current physical form of the Dark One, the Dark One's mind cannot be read, allowing Fry a means of search. No. 9 gives Fry the mysterious Omega device, able to disable the Dark One at close range.

In prison, the unseen voice of a Dark One urges Leela to escape. Shortly thereafter, Bender shows up to free the eco-feminists, happy to overtake Leela's criminal record. Hermes, Zoidberg, Scruffy and a repentant Farnsworth arrive in the Planet Express ship and whisk Bender, Leela, Amy and LaBarbara off to stop the implosion ceremony.

At the ceremony, Leo gives Fry the honor of imploding the violet dwarf. Unable to locate an unreadable mind in the massive audience, Fry concludes that he must be the Dark One. Before Fry can press the plunger, the Planet Express crew disrupts the ceremony. Still unable to explain his intentions, Fry implores Leela to return the detonator; after a moment of reflection, Leela does so. Having covertly wired the detonator to the Omega device, Fry presses the plunger and attempts to destroy himself. The Omega device activates, enveloping Leela and Fry in a flash but leaving them unharmed; Leela's leech reveals itself to be the lone surviving Dark One before collapsing. The violet dwarf system configures itself into a giant sperm and flies into the star, creating an Encyclopod embryo which quickly reaches adult form. The Encyclopod approaches the astonished audience, revealing an ecosystem full of formerly extinct species in its pouch. As Hutch is about to explain the events, the Dark One recovers and murders him. The Encyclopod then incinerates the Dark One; a debate about whether to preserve its DNA is quashed when Zoidberg consumes the Dark One's remains. After harvesting a sample of Hutch's DNA, the Encyclopod flies off.

Unmoved by these events, Brannigan attempts to arrest the Planet Express fugitives, but they and Kif escape. As the Nimbus chases the Planet Express ship, Kif and Amy reconcile, and Fry and Leela confess their love for one another. The crew discovers a wormhole which the Professor notes could take them trillions of lightyears away. Fry and Leela kiss as the ship flies into it.

CONTINUE READING!!!!

Okay, this was a good movie. It heavily feature secondary characters that weren’t featured as much in the other films. In this one, those characters are the Robot Mafia and Leo Wong. However, they still could have had more of the Robot Mafia. They are featured a lot in the first 30 minutes or so. Then after that, they just sort of disappear. I was a little upset by this. I WANTED CLAMPS!!!! WITH CLAMPING AND CLAMP-LIKE DEVICES!!!! CLAMPS!!!! Ahem, anyway, the filmmakers made up for it by having my favorite character in the movie: Zapp Brannigan! And, there were guest stars: Snoop Dogg as the Supreme Court Justizzle, Penn Jillette as Penn now doing announcing for TV poker (Teller got credited, but he wasn’t there at the voiceover recording; or he was and just didn’t say anything, which shouldn’t be that hard for him), Seth MacFarlane singing the opening song (I was surprised that he got onto the movie considering that there is supposedly some bad blood between Matt Groening and MacFarlane, and by bad blood, I mean basically everyone in animation doesn’t like MacFarlane for some reason), and Phil Hendrie (I had no idea who he was, so here’s his Wikipedia page: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phil_Hendrie.) Anyway, it was very funny and made for a good adventure story. However, it does have a disjointed plot and a haphazard pacing; though the jokes make up for it. My main problem with the film was that when it ended, it didn’t really have that finale feeling. I mean, it didn’t feel like this was the last time we’ll see the Planet Express crew. It appears that the filmmakers left it open-ended in case the show got picked up again. However, it appears that’s not going to be the case. They could have given the movie more of a finale feeling while still leaving the ending open. But, that doesn’t change the fact that this film was very funny. To me, it’s the third best. In fact, here are my rankings:

1. Bender’s Game (It was just so good!)
2. The Beast With A Billion Backs (My personal favorite, but not a lot of people liked it; and I can see why; it was a little creepy.)
3. Into The Green Wild Yonder
4. Bender’s Big Score (I thought it was funny, but looking back, all that retconning seems pointless and hurts some of the show’s best episodes a little.)

The special features include audio commentary by Matt Groening, David X. Cohen, John DiMaggio, Maurice LaMarche, Patric M. Verrone, Michael Rowe, Lee Supercinski, and Peter Avanzino; the storyboard animatic of the first 20 or 30 minutes of the film; Docudramarama, the making of Futurama, basically Lauren Tom does a lot more on that show than we previously thought; “Louder, Louder!”, the Acting Technique of Penn Jillette, which involves Penn telling us his secret to acting: it’s just yelling really loud; deleted scenes: Leo Wong destroying Dolemite Hill, the Hyperchicken, finally given a name—Matcluck, questioning Zapp Brannigan at the Feministas’ trial, an extended version of Scruffy and Dr. Zoidberg repainting the Planet Express Ship, an extended version of Morbo reading the newscast alone, and an extended version of Fry searching for the dark one; Matt Groening and David X. Cohen in Space!, well, actually they go up into an airplane that allows people to experience zero gravity; How To Draw Futurama In 10 Easy Steps, in which the animators show you how to draw some more Futurama characters; 3-D models of the asteroid that starts creating life, the Feministas Eco-van, the Gorilla obstacle in Leo Wong’s Gigantic Miniature Golf Course, the Nimbus, and the wormhole; Bender’s Movie Theater Etiquette, which basically means that he doesn’t have any (FYI, they recycled a few clips from the episode in which Bender becomes the Robot Fighting Champion); Zapp Brannigan’s Guide To Making Love At A Woman, which features recycled clips of some of Zapp’s funniest moments; and mysterious feature not mentioned on the DVD box! If you wish to remain surprised then:

SPOILER: Click to show

Basically, it is a small animation of Bender drinking a beer drawn on a roll of toilet paper.

The special features aren’t anything to sneeze at. They aren’t as good as the ones for “Bender’s Big Score” and “Bender’s Game,” but they are better than the ones for “The Beast With A Billion Backs.”

All in all, this was a good DVD. It was funny, but it just didn’t feel like it completed the Futurama saga. Now, I understand the reason why: the people who made don’t know if it will be picked. There seems to be a lot of optimism that it will get picked up. However, I just have this feeling that it won’t. I will be happy if it does, but I’m not going to get my hopes up. It looks like this is the end. Man, now I’m bummed out! If only I had something to take away the pain.



Hey! Now, I feel better! I no longer care about whether or not Futurama will come back! I now only care about one thing!

ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD!!!!

Highlights: I thought Zapp Brannigan’s Guide To Making Love At A Woman would be it, but I was a little disappointed by it. So, I’m giving the highlight nod to the Docudramarama. That Lauren Tom sure is a hard worker!

Recommended, mainly for Futurama fans who want to complete their collections or whatnot.

[Kermit The Hulk]

And, finally for tonight, here are the first three seasons of the Venture Bros.:

The Venture Bros. Season 1.
2-Disc DVD.



I know a lot of people crap on Adult Swim, saying it’s gone to s*** with a bunch of crappy TV shows; and they’re mainly right. However, there is one show on the channel that is very good, despite it being relatively new: The Venture Bros. For those of you who don’t know much about the show, here’s the premise: the show is about Dr. Thaddeus “Rusty” Venture. He was once a young boy who got into a whole bunch of adventures with his father, Dr. Jonas Venture, and the original Team Venture. Then, Rusty grew up; and things went to crap, especially after Rusty didn’t finish college because of his dad’s death. Now, in his 40s, Dr. Venture is a crappy super-scientist who has been riding on his dead dad’s coattails for years. Rusty is also a father of two boys: Hank and Dean, AKA the Venture Bros. Hank is an adventurous young boy who looks like Fred from Scooby Doo, has a Batman obsession, and might be gay. Dean is more bookish and effeminate, but is surprisingly straight and has a crush on Triana, the Goth daughter of the Ventures’ necromancer neighbor, Dr. Byron Orpheus. There is also the Ventures’ bodyguard: Brock Samson, AKA the most dangerous man on the planet. Seriously, this guy will f*** YOU UP!!!! It’s good that Dr. Venture and his boys have such a manly and dangerous bodyguard as they always seem to get into trouble and have numerous villains, like: The Monarch, an incompetent villain with a butterfly fetish and a group of equally, if not more, incompetent henchmen; Baron Werner Ünderbheit, a Doctor Doom-like villain with a metal lower jaw who rules his country with an ironfist and blames Dr. Venture for his condition; Phantom Limb, an evil man with invisible arms and legs; Dr. Girlfriend, the masculine-voice love of the Monarch’s life, and Phantom Limbs; and many, many more. There is also, H.E.L.P.eR., the Ventures’ very loyal and emotional robot; Pete White, an albino computer scientist; and Master Billy Quizboy, “boy genius” who’s actually in a middle-age man (think Gary Coleman as a scientist and white). Well, that’s about it in a nutshell. Now, onto the episodes!

1. "Dia de Los Dangerous!"—August 7, 2004 1-01.

When the Venture Family visits Tijuana for a lecture Dr. Venture is giving at the (community) University of Mexico, the dastardly Monarch weaves a co of villainy that leaves the Venture Brothers trapped in his clutches, Dr. Venture kidney-less and Brock...dead? If only Dr. Venture would return his calls...

This was a pretty good episode, not the funniest, but they were just starting; and it takes a while for a show to hit its stride. It’s still pretty good and introduces the characters really well. It’s a nice first episode. 7/10.

2. "Careers in Science"—August 14, 2004 1-02

The Venture Family must travel to space to repair an orbiting space station that Dr. Venture's father built in the 1970's, but a mysterious space phantom could be haunting the station! This gets even more intense as Brock's presence adds heat to an already tense romantic relationship between the station's two officers, Colonel Bud Manstrong and Lieutenant Anna Baldavitch.

It didn’t take this show long to hit its stride. This episode is really funny, with Brock sleeping with the butter-face Baldavitch with Hank and Dean cheering him on, thinking he’s fight “Phantom Spaceman”; Dr. Venture nearly killing Brock when he’s flipping switches trying to get that “Problem” light to go off and accidentally opening the cargo doors; and H.E.L.P.eR. flying around space. It’s a really good episode. 9/10.

3. "Mid-Life Chrysalis"—September 25, 2004 1-03

The Monarch sends Dr. Girlfriend undercover to seduce Dr. Venture in order to inject him with a body-altering serum. Meanwhile, Brock is deeply depressed to learn his secret agent license to kill has expired, but the boys are hell-bent on helping him cram for his government exam.

This was a pretty good episode. The best part of Brock taking the test, though Dr. Venture being turned into a caterpillar seemed a little weak. Still a good episode. 7/10.

4. "Eeney, Meeney, Miney... Magic!"—September 4, 2004 1-04

Dr. Venture's new experiment has the entire family interested, not to mention trapped inside! The Ventures' strange new neighbor, master of mysticism Dr. Orpheus, may be the only one who can help them escape. Meanwhile, Dean falls for Dr. Orpheus's teenaged daughter; and Brock has an encounter with his old flame, Molotov Cocktease.

This is a very good episode, as it introduces us that wonderfully overdramatic necromancer: DOCTOR BYRON ORPHEUS!!!! He’s hilarious, and this episode is a good introduction to him. 8/10.

5. "The Incredible Mr. Brisby"—August 28, 2004 1-05

Dr. Venture is offered a job by theme park owner and cartoon magnate Roy Brisby, who won't take no for an answer in his quest for worldwide entertainment dominance. Meanwhile, the boys are given the Patty Hearst treatment by the Orange County Liberation Front, a group of militant suburbanites who want to take down Brisby's empire. Brock enlists the aid of former lover and fellow superspy Molotov Cocktease to "mount" a rescue, but she may have her own agenda.

This episode features a wonderful parody of Walt Disney, a terrorist group based in Orange County that brainwashes Hank and Dean, the sexy yet unavailable Molotov Cocktease, Dr. Venture being drugged and thinking he’s Blanche DuBois in “A Streetcar Named Desire,” and a giant panda. What’s not to love! 10/10.

6. "Tag Sale – You're It!"—October 9, 2004 1-06

Always short on cash, Dr. Venture decides to unload some of his father's old scientific equipment in a huge yard sale that attracts fellow scientists and supervillains alike. Everyone is supposed to be on their best behavior, but the Monarch can't resist the temptation to wreak havoc once he finds himself inside the "belly of the beast"...and in desperate need of a bathroom.

Another great episode. It marks Baron Ünderbheit's debut, with a disgusting scene where he removes his jaw, as well as Phantom Limb’s. It also has a hilarious security agent who likes to punish men who disobey him by making them wear dresses. There’s a great fight scene started when the Monarch shoots Ünderbheit in the butt, and he thinks some guy looking at Playboy featuring Sarah Michelle Gel-LAR is responsible. And, we learn that you don’t want to incure the WRATH OF THE MONARCH!!!! (That means he’ll take a dump in your toilet and won’t flush.) 10/10.

7. "Home Insecurity"—August 21, 2004 1-07

To protect the Venture compound while Brock is on his yearly mountain survival sabbatical, Dr. Venture builds a panic room and a robotic bodyguard, which are soon put to the test when both the Monarch's and Baron Ünderbheit's henchmen choose the same night to launch attacks. While the supervillains bicker over who has dibs on Dr. Venture, Brock is busy befriending the strangest couple in the Cascadian mountains, and H.E.L.P.eR. runs away in a fit of jealousy.

This is a good episode, but it will give you the creeps with thoughts of the Six Million Dollar Man getting romantic with a Sasquatch. EWWW!!!! 8/10.

8. "Ghosts of the Sargasso"—September 11, 2004 1-08

On a scientific expedition in the Bermuda Triangle, Doc's experimental equipment awakens and possibly enrages the submerged ghost of Major Tom, a test pilot who crashed in an experimental aircraft designed by Doc's father. While there, the Venture's hydrofoll is hijacked by a group of fake ghost pirates who've been stranded in the sargassum since Jesus Jones was popular.

If you like pirates, David Bowie references, and a guy using his butt to swing a pirate around into killing another pirate, then this is the episode for you. The best part is Dr. Venture running around the bottom of the sea, looking for that experimental aircraft, especially at the end. 10/10.

9. "Ice Station – Impossible!"—September 18, 2004 1-09

Dr. Venture, Pete White, and Master Billy Quizboy are invited to take part in a top secret government think tank run by supergenius Professor Impossible (coincidentally their former college professor), but Doc's life is in jeopardy once he learns the dark secrets of Impossible's sequestered family. Meanwhile, Hank has become a walking time bomb thanks to a stolen Cold War serum, and Brock and Dean are in a race against the clock to save him.

I liked this episode, especially for the Fantastic Four reference: you have a Mr. Fantastic who’s a huge egotistical jerk, which is pretty much what Mr. Fantastic is like today; an Invisible Woman who can only turn her skin invisible, a Human Torch who can’t control his powers; and the Thing if he was mentally retarded. I also like the Race Bannon appearance. Interesting side note, the creator of the show, Jackson Publick, was going to use a character based on Bannon for episode until he learned that Cartoon Network owned the rights to the show Johnny Quest and decided to use the actual character. 10/10.

10. "Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean"—October 2, 2004 1-10

The Monarch finally has the Venture family right where he wants them, hanging upside down above the Amazon River! But, his victory is postponed when Dean suffers a strange ailment: according to the bylaws of the Guild of Calamitous Intent, a temporary truce must be called in order to get Dean medical attention, so Brock and Hank are held as collateral. Doc calls on his friends, Master Billy Quizboy and Pete White, to help Dean with his mysterious ailment.

This is a hilarious episode. I mean, it basically says that there is a supervillain organization that will torture kids if they are healthy but won’t if they are sick and/or injured and will let them get medical treatment! I also enjoyed Brock attacking the Monarch’s henchmen simply to give the villain something to do and the Monarch acting all paternal to Hank. Though, I didn’t like Dean’s ailment, mainly because it was testicular torsion. I imagine it’s as painful as it sounds. However, the scene where Dr. Venture gets his friends to cheer Dean up after his surgery is hilarious, as is the testicular torsion PSA at the end of the episode. 9/10.

11. "Past Tense"—October 16, 2004 1-12

When Brock and Dr. Venture are kidnapped from the funeral of a college friend, the boys enlist the aid of the original Team Venture: a group of superscience adventurers who worked for their grandfather in the 1960s. Meanwhile, the mysterious kidnapper reveals the secret of his twenty year old grudge through a series of flashbacks to when he, Brock, Doc, Baron Ünderbheit and Pete White were all in college together.

This is my favorite episode of Season 1. I mean, some guy kidnaps his college buddies at his funeral because they wronged him college, and these “wrongs” mainly revolved around his obsession with some girl he had a crush on in college, which extended to him stalking the girl and building robots with her face on them. I also enjoyed the part where Brock escapes and attacks the old Team Venture. And, the original Team Venture is wonderful: you have Colonel Horace Gentleman, a gay version of James Bond, complete with Sean Connery voice; Kano, a silent martial artist/origami folder; Otto Aquarius, the exiled fish-man from Atlantis who is now a Mormon; and The Action Man, who appeared in the “Ghosts of the Sargasso” episode, once a tower of physical fitness, he’s now a shell of his former self and will die in two years from a stroke because Dr. Orpheus said so. All in all, this is a wonderful episode. 10/10.

12. "The Trial of the Monarch"—October 23, 2004 1-13

The Monarch is on trial for the one crime he may not have committed, under mysterious circumstances stemming from his bitter breakup with Dr. Girlfriend. The boys and Dr. Orpheus are forced to testify, but only Brock is aware that something far more sinister is afoot.

This is the Monarch at his best, from his anger at the tell-all book written about him to his jealously of Dr. Girlfriend to his overly dramatic outbursts. There is also a hilarious fantasy sequence at the beginning of the episode; it’s basically Hank and Dean’s testimony in which Hank is Indiana Jones, Dean is Thomas Magnum of Magnum, P.I., Brock is himself but with a nice suit and castrating a giant ancient statue, the Monarch is a much better villain that he is in real life, and Hank and Dean can turn into an Anime robot of Shiva, the Hindu goddess. 10/10.

13. "Return to Spider-Skull Island"—October 30, 2004 1-11

Dr. Venture finally learns the secret of his recurring nightmares when a stomach tumor turns out to be something far more sinister: his twin brother he consumed in the womb! In a fit of jealousy over their mistaken belief their father is pregnant, the boys run away from home. But, their newfound freedom is short lived once they run afoul of the law and land themselves in a "Scared Straight"-style outreach program headed by none other than the recently incarcerated Monarch.

If there’s anything funnier than the Monarch and a gay talking gorilla are running a “Scared Straight” program, then I don’t know what it is. There is also Dr. Orpheus trapping two rednecks into a Homeboy figurine, the Ventures and Brock dressed as characters from “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” and a SHOCKING ending. SPOILERS. Two of the monarch’s henchmen accidentally kill Hank and Dean. SPOILERS END. All is all, this is a good episode; and it gives us a new character, Jonas Venture, Jr., Dr. Venture’s twin brother with a baby body and a flipper hand. It’s a good season finale with a great cliffhanger. 9/10.

There are also some great special features. The DVD has two bonus episodes:

The Pilot "The Terrible Secret of Turtle Bay"—February 16, 2003 0-01

The Venture family travels to New York City, where Dr. Venture is presenting his newest invention to the United Nations. Meanwhile, they are pursued by the Monarch and a mysterious ninja named Otaku Senzuri.

This is pretty much like the show, expect the animation is very different. Also, the Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend look very different, and Prof. Impossible makes his first appearance but with a different voice and no name mentioned. In the pilot, Publick’s brother Peter McCulloch does the voice of the stretching scientist; in the “Ice Station — Impossible!” episode, Steven Colbert does the voice. However, this is your typical Venture Bros. It’s about like the first episode: not that great, but still pretty good. 7/10.

"A Very Venture Christmas"—December 19, 2004 S1

Dr. Venture throws a Christmas party for many of his friends, but the party goes awry when Dean and Hank find Dr. Orpheus's spell book. Meanwhile, the Monarch has hatched yet another plan to kill Dr. Venture, this time involving a nativity scene booby-trapped with C4 explosive.

This is a very good episode, even though it’s only 11 minutes as oppose to the other 22 minute episodes. It has a lot of good moments, like Dr. Venture’s Christmas movies-induced dream; Hank finding some Christmas-theme pornos; Dr. Venture getting “punished” by The Krampus, a Germanic demon that accompanied Saint Nicholas in olden times that meted out punishment to the bad children while Nicholas rewarded the good children with presents; and the Ventures’ X-1 jet crashing in Bethlehem on Christmas Eve. It was really good. 9/10.

The other features include deleted scenes from several episodes, commentary from the cast and creators, and two mockumentary featurettes: one has the actors who do the voices of Dr. Venture, Dr. Girlfriend, The Monarch, and Henchmen No. 21 and 24 dressing up like the characters they voice and describing what it’s like to “work” on the show; and the other is Pete White and Billy Quizboy narrating a preposterous animating technique for a shot of Hank and Dean doing the “Go Team Venture!” hand sign. All in all, this is a great show. In my mind, it’s not only the best show on Adult Swim; it’s the best animated show on TV today. I mean, it’s hilarious. The characters are wonderfully over-the-top yet still relatable. The episodes are very original and chock full of references from movies, TV, music, comic books, science fiction, and other facets of pop culture that would give any nerd an orgasm. It’s just a wonderful show.

Highlight: There’s a part of the “Behind The Scenes Of The Venture Bros. Live Action Movie” featurettes where creators Jason Publick and Doc Hammer yell at “Dr. Venture” until he gets a line a right. It’s hilarious.

Highly recommended.

[Kermit The Hulk]

The Venture Bros. Season 2.
2-Disc DVD.



Same show, new season. And, this season is better than the first one. When we last left the Ventures and their companions, Dr. Thaddeus “Rusty” Venture had a tumor removed from his body that turned out to be his twin brother Jonas, Jr., that he consumed in the womb. Brock’s hair got burned off, but luckily it was burnt into a nice short number. The Monarch has lost his girlfriend, Dr. Girlfriend, to that “humorless dick” Phantom Limb and was sent to prison. Henchmen Nos. 21 and 24 were out of jobs. And, the big one, Hank and Dean were NO MORE!!!! It takes some big balls to kill the title characters at the end of the first season and have the fans wondering how the show’s going to continue. But, that’s one of the reasons this show is so great. Anyway, ONTO THE EPISODES!!!!

14. "Powerless in the Face of Death"—June 25, 2006 2-20

Life goes on after the tragic deaths of Hank and Dean in this Season Two opener, though Dr. Orpheus seems to be taking it particularly hard. After a month-long sabbatical, Dr. Venture returns to find that his brother Jonas, Jr., has become a doctor himself and has completed several government projects. So, J.J. gives Rusty one of his projects to complete: a teleportation machine, which Dr. Venture tests even though it’s half-way completed and ends up in the wall, TV, and near the sewage dump of a prison. Meanwhile, the Monarch plans to escape from prison. And, we learn the INCREDIBLE secret of the Venture Bros.: SPOILERS. Hank and Dean are clones, and this is 15th death they’ve gone through. SPOILERS END.

This is a good episode, and it gives a very good explanation as to how the show will continue. Though, it did seem a bit predictable to me. Nevertheless, it’s still good. Plus, you have a gay gorilla trying to rape the Monarch. I don’t know why, but I find that hilarious. 8/10.

15. "Hate Floats"—July 2, 2006 2-19

Things return to normal in the lives of the Ventures. The Monarch confronts Dr. Girlfriend in a mall food court while his new henchmen stumble upon the Venture family shopping. Then, things get out of control when the Monarch’s new henchmen take over his co. This all leads to Phantom Limb and Brock Samson teaming up to rescue Dr. Girlfriend and the Ventures; Dr. Girlfriend, Hank, and Dean teaming up to rescue Phantom Limb, Brock, and Dr. Venture; and the Monarch, Henchman No. 21, Henchman No. 24, and Dr. Venture teaming up to overtake the Monarch’s co.

With the Monarch trying to rebuild his empire to three rescue missions going on at once, what’s not to love about this episode? Plus, Brock kills a guy by sticking the guy’s finger up his own butt. 9/10.

16. "Love-Bheits"—August 20, 2006 2-14

On their way home from a Halloween costume party, the Ventures crash land in Ünderland. Baron Ünderbheit captures them, obsessed with taking revenge on Dr. Venture, but mistakes Dean for a girl and attempts to make him the 8th Baroness of Ünderland. Meanwhile, Brock, Hank, and Dr. Venture are rescued by Catclops and Girl Hitler's underground resistance group.

Another great episode with lots love. I mean, you have the Ventures losing a costume contest because Hank dressed up as Batman instead of a Star Wars character, much like the previous year when they went as Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion, and Batman and the year before that when they went as the awesome rock group composed of Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehely, and Batman. Plus, Baron Ünderbheit mistakes Dean for a girl, also hilarious and not hard to see as Dean is very skinny, effeminate, and dressed up as Princess Leia in that “Return Of The Jedi” bikini. And, there is also the resistance group of Catclops and Girl Hitler. For those of you who don’t know, in the Season 1 episode “Home Insecurity,” Baron Ünderbheit nearly killed his top assistants, Catclops (a man with a tiny cat’s head for eyes), Girl Hitler (a German woman who looks like Hitler, complete with mustache), and Manic 8-Ball (a man with an 8-ball costume and can only communicate by shaking himself, allowing for a message to appear in a porthole in his chest, like a magic 8-ball), by giving them tiger balm and then unleashing tigers with bombs attached to their stomachs. GET IT! Tiger BALM—Tiger BOMB! Anyway, they all survived with 8-Ball being tied up in Ünderbheit’s bedroom and Catclops and Girl Hitler starting a resistance group. However, said resistance group is totally useless as their idea of “resistance” is playing practical jokes. Yes, they are going to take down a powerful, Doctor Doom/Darth Vader-like dictator with flaming bags of poop and cat hair in his drinks. The best part of the episode is when Hank, Brock, and Dr. Venture try to stop the wedding of Ünderbheit and Dean, but Brock and Dr. Venture get trapped in a cell. This leaves Hank to try and take on Ünderbheit’s army by himself. Though Brock and Dr. Venture try to talk him out of it, Hank gives a passionate speech about how Dr. Venture tried to isolate and destroy the gay gene and runs off to take on the army of Ünderland, only to fall and cut his tongue on his Batman mask. 10/10.

17. "Escape to the House of Mummies Part II"—July 16, 2006 2-18

Team Venture find themselves trapped in the clutches of a bloodthirsty Egyptian cult and their time machine. Doc narrowly escapes but promptly forgets to mount a rescue when he’s distracted with a bet between him and Dr. Orpheus over whether you can shrink yourself better with science or magic. So it's up to Brock and a pantheon of history's greatest men to find another way out.

This is my favorite episode of Season 2 for several reasons. One, it’s a Part 2 episode WITHOUT a part 1. Second, the main plot of Team Venture trying to escape the lair of a time-traveling Egyptian cult quickly becomes the subplot as much of the episodes focuses on Dr. Venture and Dr. Orpheus’s bet on who can shrink themselves first. Third, there are some great scenes with Dr. Orpheus interacting with his mentor in the form of a three-head dog. Fourth, the “main plot” delves into Dean being decapitated but surviving, Hank getting a pet mummy, and Brock enlisting the help of famous men from history: Caligula, Dr. Sigmund Freud, Edgar Allan Poe, and Brock from earlier in the day when the Ventures were captured. And, finally, it turns out there’s a PART III, which is never shown. 10/10.

18. "Twenty Years to Midnight"—August 6, 2006 2-17

In the middle of spring cleaning, Brock's discovery of a lost videotape from Jonas Venture Sr. sets Team Venture off on a global scavenger hunt for the hidden pieces of a fantastic and potentially deadly machine. But to save humanity from a terrible fate, they'll have to overcome death, drug addiction, Jonny Quest, and Professor Impossible, all under the watchful eye of the mysterious Grand Galactic Inquisitor.

Another hilarious episode, especially for the Grand Galactic Inquisitor. He’s a 12-foot alien who’s incredibly loud and shouts “IGNORE ME!” a lot. Plus, I loved the Jonny Quest cameo, in which the former boy adventure has become a drug addict and living in a tiny submarine in the ocean. However, Professor Impossible getting stretched out in the end is a little disgusting. 9/10.

19. "Victor. Echo. November."—August 13, 2006 2-15

The Phantom Limb and Dr. Girlfriend agree to a double date with The Monarch and some girl he met "on the LiveJournal" in order to discuss the Monarch's official re-entry into the Guild of Calamitous Intent. Tempers flare, and Doc and Brock become the unwitting pawns in a low-grade pissing contest when Phantom Limb sets the Guild's commandos on the Venture family to prove his dominance.

This is good episode. It shows just how badass Brock can be when he kills a bunch of people in the nude. Also, I loved the various origins of Phantom Limb; and Dr. Venture mistaking the musical “The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas” for a porno. 9/10.

20. "Assassinanny 911"—July 9, 2006 2-16

When Brock is asked by the Office of Secret Intelligence to track down a rogue agent, he makes a deal with the mercenary Molotov Cocktease to protect the Venture Compound from enemies within and without during his absence.

This is a good episode but a little disturbing. It shows us how Brock became the man he is today and how he met Molotov Cocktease. Their first meeting is so wonderful, and it isn’t hard to see why Brock fell in love with the girl. And, Cocktease teaches the Ventures how to be independent from Brock, complete with shooting a submachine gun at them. As for the disturbing parts, we have Dean falling for Molotov and getting pricked by the blade of her stiletto-boot that’s laced with a hallucinogen that causes Dean to want to kill his father as the Doors’ “The End” plays in the background. And, Brock is sent to kill his old mentor, who left the spy business to get a sex change operation. We even see the man post-op. It’s creepy because he has nice breast…I should stop now. 8/10.

21. "Fallen Arches"—September 3, 2006 2-22

When the Guild of Calamitous Intent finally approves Dr. Orpheus for his very own arch-nemesis, he calls upon his old friends Jefferson Twilight and the Alchemist to resurrect their former super-team, The Order of the Triad.

This is another good episode. I mean, you have Dean trying to impress Triana with the worst production of "Lady Windermere's Fan" of all time Dr. Venture going on and on about his giant walking eye, Henchmen Nos. 21 and 24 trying to become supervillains themselves with jetpacks, the Monarch putting a hooker through hell, and a supervillain leaving the stinkiest dump aftersmell of all time. Lots of good stuff in this one. 9/10.

22. "Guess Who's Coming to State Dinner?"—September 10, 2006 2-21

When the Gargantua-1 Space Station breaks orbit and crashes into a number of wanted terrorists, Colonel Bud Manstrong becomes a national hero. But did it really happen, or is Bud's mother, the indomitable Mrs. Manstrong, behind an insidious plot to assassinate the President? The mysterious blinking bandage on Bud's neck might be the key to a mystery only the ghost of Abraham Lincoln and Team Venture can solve.

If you like “The Manchurian Candidate,” then this episode is for you. Or not; I don’t know. Anyway, we have the return of super-square Bud Manstrong, with his foul-mouth and horny-for-Brock mother. Also, we has Lincoln’s ghost trying to stop the assassination plot of the President with Hank, Dean, and a lot of 5 dollar bills. Plus, we learn the wonderful powers of club soda. 10/10.

23. "I Know Why the Caged Bird Kills"—September 24, 2006 2-23

The Monarch continues to rebuild his villainous empire with the aid of his shadowy new Number 2, Dr. Henry Killinger, but #21 is suspicious of the good Doctor's unctuous charms. Meanwhile, as Dr. Orpheus attempts to exorcise a Japanese demon from Dr. Venture, a mysterious woman from Doc’s past resurfaces...

In this episode, we meet the woman who may or may not be Hank and Dean’s mother. There’s a good possibility that she is or just some crazy woman whom Dr. Venture banged once. Also, the Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend get back together, thanks to an evil Henry Kissinger, which may be the actual Henry Kissinger. And, Brock pulls out another badass move by stopping the crazy woman by simply falling back into the car she’s about to hit him with. It’s just another reason why you don’t want to f*** with Brock Samson. 10/10.

24. "¡Viva los Muertos!"—October 1, 2006 2-24

When Dr. Venture finally succeeds in attaining the holy grail of superscience, the revivification of a human corpse for fun and profit, a washed up gang of wandering former teen sleuths is convinced that the Venture Compound is haunted. Their investigation uncovers something far creepier. Meanwhile, Orpheus shepherds Brock through a crisis of conscience with the help of a New Age shaman and a bizarre tea party.

This is weirdest episode of the whole series, and that’s saying something. I mean, we have a crazier and more evil version of the Scooby Doo gang, Dr. Venture creating his own Frankenstein monster, and Brock having a drug dream involving a pink dolphin and giant version of his mentor, who’s naked with his female body. A very sexy giant female body…I better stop again. 10/10.

25. "Showdown at Cremation Creek (Part I)"—October 8, 2006 2-25

The Monarch finally (for, roughly, the fourth time) has Team Venture in his clutches at the one time he doesn’t want them: smack dab in the middle of the social event of the supervillain season. The stage is set for a deadly, ultimate showdown between The Monarch and Phantom Limb for the hand of Dr. Girlfriend.

The Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend are GETTING MARRIED!!!! And, the Monarch’s henchmen finally capture the Ventures right when he doesn’t want them to. Plus, guest appearance by David Bowie (Note: David Bowie did not actually lend his voice for this episode; it was just a crappy impersonator.) Also, Phantom Limb shows some badassery by hunting the prisoners who helped the Monarch escape and attacking the wedding of the Monarch. Just a very good first parter. 9/10.

26. "Showdown at Cremation Creek (Part II)"—October 15, 2006 2-26

As Phantom Limb makes his stunning power play, only Brock can rally The Monarch’s forces to mount a defense. The fate of almost everyone in the Venture universe hangs in the balance as The Sovereign reveals his true identity and guys and stuff explode all over the place.

And, this is a very good second parter. Brock shows how cool he can be, even wearing a butterfly costume. Phantom Limb becomes the Sovereign of the Guild of Calamitous Intent by taking out David Bowie. Yes, David Bowie runs a supervillain organization. And when you he couldn’t get any cooler, Bowie does. Plus, Dean has a hilarious hallucination involving him saving a magic kingdom. And, the Order of the Triad and the Sullustan from “Return of the Jedi” (they materialized him from a Star Wars trading card in the previous episode) come to the rescue, with hilarious results. Also, this episodes ends in a cliffhanger: after leaving the attack unharmed, the Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend go on their honeymoon. However, Dr. Girlfriend has a secret for the Monarch, but we have no idea what it is as the episode ends without the horrible secret being revealed. Though, it seems obvious what that secret might be. POSSIBLE SPOILERS. She used to be a dude. POSSIBLE SPOILERS END. All in all, this was a good episode with a nice cliffhanger, but the cliffhanger at the end of the first season was better. 9/10.

There aren’t that many special features: commentary from the cast and creators, a whole bunch of deleted scenes, and a tour of Astro Base Go!, the production company that makes the show. Though there might not be much features, they are good ones. As for Season 2, it is very good and much better than the first one. In the first season, the show was trying to find its ground; and it didn’t take long for it to do so. With this season, it just got better and better; and this season should be indication that The Venture Bros. will be just as good or get a lot better in the years to come.

Highlight: The beginning of “I Know Why the Caged Bird Kills.” The Monarch pulls off one incredibly badass entrance when he ambushes the Venture. His men are at top form, there are huge explosions, a lot of people die, etc. It’s the best one he’s ever done. However, it turns out he hadn’t attacked Venture compound but rather the offices of his accounting firm. It’s the funniest entrance I’ve seen.

Highly recommended.

[Kermit The Hulk]

The Venture Bros. Season 3.
2-Disc DVD.



Team Venture returns for another season of…I don’t want to call what they do high-jinks because it’s a little more adult than that…but… Um, let’s just move on. For my money, The Venture Bros. is the best show currently on Adult Swim. It’s smart, funny, and way more coherent than the usual trash they air on Adult Swim nowadays, like Tim And Eric: Awesome Show and Xavier: Renegade Angel. God, those shows SUCK!!!!

Anyway, when we last left the Ventures and their companions, the Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend were getting married when Phantom Limb interrupted the party to steal Dr. Girlfriend and become the new Sovereign at the same time. However, his plans were spoiled because David Bowie ain’t a little bitch who’s gonna let some dude with invisible limbs take his power away! So, Phantom Limb is defeated and missing; and the Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend are on their honeymoon when Dr. Girlfriend drops a bombshell on the Monarch. So, without further adieu…

27. "Shadowman 9: In The Cradle Of Destiny"—June 1, 2008 3-32

The Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend are fighting for their lives as the Guild Of Calamitous Intent puts them through the Guild’s Tribunal as the Monarch has been breaking Guild rules for years: from being a villain while he was a henchmen for other villains to arching Dr. Venture without establishing credentials with the Guild. Throughout the tribunal, we learn of The Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend’s pasts. By the way, we never find out the secret But, in this episode we learn that they first met when the Monarch was one of Limb’s henchmen, Shadowman 9, and tried to steal Dr. Girlfriend, then known as Lady Au Pair. We also learn that the Monarch is responsible for the accident that took Baron Ünderbheit’s jaw. Other notes: there’s a subplot with the Moppets and Henchmen 21 and 24 in a power struggle, and the main characters: Hank, Dean, Dr. Venture, and Brock Samson, aren’t in this episode; Dr. Venture and Brock make an appearance, but they have no dialogue.

This is a good episode. I love that they didn’t reveal the secret. Some things just need to be left unrevealed. I also love the satire on certain villainous activities, like how female villains’ costumes usually play up their sexuality rather than their skills and how secret groups seem to have footage of things that they really shouldn’t have had: how and why would the Guild have footage of The Monarch in college when they didn’t even know who he was. I also like the Moppets. Also, there is a big continuity goof: in "Tag Sale – You're It!", the Monarch had no idea that Dr. Girlfriend once dated Phantom Limb. However, they do make fun of certain continuity, like Limb not being able to recognize the Monarch when they first met. All in all, it was a good episode despite the continuity error. 8/10.

28. "The Doctor Is Sin"—June 8, 2008 3-28

Now, we go back to the stars of the shows: Team Venture!!!! In this episode, Dr. Henry Killinger returns. This time he lends his excellent skills of analysis and advice to completely revamp Venture Compounds. Unfortunately, by doing this, he nearly turns Dr. Venture into a supervillain bent on destroying his own brother, Dr. Jonas Venture, Jr.

Hilarious episode. It’s a great example of what this show is about: failure. You have Dr. Venture trying to prove his self-worth in the scientific world and failing miserably. And, then he gets the opportunity to not be the failure anymore, but it comes at the price of his own morals. It’s not only funny, but it’s also thought provoking. Also, I should point out that this DVD is uncensored. That’s means you hear all the cussing without the beeps. I point this out now, because in this episode, we get a full shot of Dr. Jonas Venture, Sr.’s penis. Still a good episode though. 9/10.

29. "Home Is Where The Hate Is"—June 22, 2008 3-37

It’s the dinner party…FROM HELL!!!! Sgt. Hatred throws a Supervillains Party to welcome The Monarch and Dr. Mrs. The Monarch, formerly Dr. Girlfriend, to their new home, Malice, a gated community for supervillains (“It's like Boca Raton on Halloween!”), and to celebrate his new arch-enemy: Dr. Thaddeus Venture. The party is a bore, but things heat up with some attempted murder as The Monarch can’t stand that Dr. Venture has a new arch-villain and plans to finish him off once and for all.

I liked this episode, mainly for one character: Sgt. Hatred. Despite his name, he’s surprisingly civil, even going so far as to work out an arching schedule with Dr. Venture so that he doesn’t disturb him during the night or a business meeting. I also loved the dinner party sequence, especially the game where people have a name tag with a famous person on it and they have to guess it. The fact that Dr. Mrs. The Monarch has no idea who Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis is hilariously; her look is based on the former first lady. And, the feud between the Moppets and Henchmen 21 and 24 just keeps getting better. Also, Nudity Warning #2: we get a shot of The Monarch’s balls and Dr. Venture’s genitals from behind. 8/10.

30. "The Invisible Hand Of Fate"—June 15, 2008 3-27

Billy Quizboy: the 35-year-old man with a giant head and a boy’s body. Why do I mention him? Because, this episode is about him. We learn that Billy was a contestant on a game show called “Quizboys,” which was hosted by Pete White in a bunch of make-up to hide albinism. Billy is the Ken Jennings of the show…well, on the surface. In actuality, he’s Charles Van Doren, a famous contestant on Twenty-One who was given the answers in advance back in the 1950s: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quiz_show_scandals. After he’s exposed, Billy ends up doing underground quiz shows, which leads to Billy losing his eye and hand to in a pitbull fight when White accidentally enters him into a dog fight. However, he’s being tracked by two OSI agents: Brock Samson and Col. Hunter Gathers. They make contact Billy and set him up as an assistant to Prof. Fantamos, whom they believe is a recruiter for the Guild Of Calamitous Intent, which at this time is thought to be no more. Unfortunately, the mission ends in a disaster as Fantamos puts too much trust into Billy, who thanks to all his cheating, doesn’t really know a lot.

This is a great episode. So many great moments, like the G.I. Joe-like intro for OSI, imagine if the Joes were gay and stopped being pussies and actually took out Cobra with deadly force, and the Nozzle. It was also great to learn how Pete and Billy met, how Dr. Venture ended up with Brock as his bodyguard, and how Prof. Fantamos became Phantom Limb. Plus, it has the return of Hunter Gathers. He’s an awesome character. Imagine Hunter S. Thompson if he was a government agent and had a sex change operation because he felt like a woman trapped in a man’s body. Now, it’s a funny episode, but it’s a little seeing what happens to Billy. He was just a brilliant young boy who had so much potential and wanted to go to MIT. However, a series of bad decisions and a lot of cheating kills all his dreams, leaving him to life in a trailer with an albino. It has a nice mix of comedy and sympathy. 10/10.

31. "The Buddy System"—June 29, 2008 3-30

In this episode, we spend a day at Rusty’s Day Camp For Boy Adventurers!!!! Rusty’s Day Camp For Boy Adventurers has a wide variety of activities for all you boy adventurers to enjoy! Wanna go on TV!? Well, Master Billy Quizboy will show you how to be a quizboy! Got any questions? Well, Johnny Quest will answer them in a Q and A! Do you have trouble with danger? Well, The Order Of The Triad will teach you how to be safe! Wanna be a pirate!? The Pirate Captain will show you how! Wanna learn how to fight!? Brock Samson will show you how! Are you experiences the beginnings of puberty!? Well, then, you won’t be able to stop staring at Dr. Mrs. The Monarch’s new costume. Good God almighty! *drools* Um…anyway, Rusty’s Day Camp For Boy Adventurers provides all the knowledge you need to be a boy adventurer. So, stop on by TODAY!!!!

Good episode. You got Brock wanting to beat up Dermott, a teenage boy who may or may not be his son’ the Moppets spying on Dr. Venture WITH A KNIFE!!!!’ an ape disemboweling a little kid’ Hank growing some balls and wailing on Dermott; Sgt. Hatred ruining the whole thing; and a great guest appearance from Brandon Small as Action Johnny. The best part is Dr. Venture giving the parents of the disemboweled boy a clone. It’s horrifying and hilarious. 9/10.

32. "Dr. Quymn, Medicine Woman."—July 6, 2008 3-31

Dr. Venture gets a blast from his past as he reunites with Dr. Tara Quymn, the stepdaughter of Col. Horace Gentlemen, who married Dr. Quymn’s mother. They meet in the jungles of the Amazon. Dr. Quymn is trying to find a cure for cancer; Dr. Venture is trying to find a cure for impotence (Viagra gives him headaches and nausea). Basically, Dr. Quymn is a female version of Dr. Venture, complete with a female Brock, Virginia, and a female Hank and Dean, Dr. Quymn’s twin daughters Nancy and Drew. Hilarity ensues as Dr. Venture tries to have sex with Dr. Quymn, Virginia tries to have sex with Brock, Hank tries to have sex with Nancy and Drew, and Nancy and Drew try to have sex with Dean, all the while the infamous Wereodile stalks the jungles. Also in this episode, we get flashbacks of Dr. Venture and Dr. Quymn as kids and learn that Venture’s dad and Quymn’s mom had an affair.

This is a great episode. I love the whole dynamic between Team Venture and their female counterparts, and I’m just a sucker for the “people trying to seduce different people” plotline. The best seduction scene is when Nancy and Drew try to seduce Dean. The boy’s first time was nearly a three-way with twins! What a lucky guy! 10/10.
33. "What Goes Down, Must Come Up"—July 13, 2008 3-33

While bringing a large drill vehicle out of storage, Brock and Dr. Venture get lost. Dr. Venture ends up meeting an underground society of people dressed up like a VH1 Classic convention mainly because their only contact with the outside world is VH1 Classic due to a crossed wire (how they got their clothing I have no idea), and Brock ends up trapped in a room with a six-inch man, Dr. Entman, while looking for him. So, it’s up to Dean, Hank, Pete White, and the Order Of The Triad. However, things go horribly awry as M.U.T.H.E.R., a female version of Hal 9000 comes online and nearly unleashes a nuclear missile.

Now, this is my favorite episode of the season. I love all the references to classic music videos, the Ant Man reference, and the female Hal 9000. That whole scene in which we learn how the underground society ended up under the Venture Compound…JESUS f***ING CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!!! 10/10.

34. "Tears Of A Sea Cow"—July 20, 2008 3-34

We move on to disc 2 with an episode that has an awesome name. The episode begins with The Monarch storming the compound of his new arch-enemy, Dr. Dugong, who looks a lot like a manatee. The Monarch kills him because he considers the man to be an unworthy enemy for him. I actually felt bad for Dr. Dugong. Anyway, The Monarch has gone through a lot of adversaries because he can’t stop thinking about fighting Dr. Venture. This leads to a fight with Dr. Mrs. The Monarch and to The Monarch and Henchmen 21 and 24 storming the Venture Compound. However. Dr. Venture and Brock aren’t home, but Hank and Dean are, as is Dermott, over for a sleepover with Hank, and H.E.L.P.eR.

Yeah, there is no Brock, but there is still a lot of good stuff. I loved the part with The Monarch reading Dean’s homemade newspaper. And, the part where The Monarch and Henchman 21 slide down a chute to the Monarchmobile and land on it with the top down. Also, the creepy way the Moppets fawn over Dr. Mrs. The Monarch. The best part is when Dean catches The Monarch having sex with G.U.A.R.D.O. and The Monarch tricks Dean into not tattling on him by saying that telling his father what The Monarch did will cause him to become a supervillain. 8/10.

35. "Now Museum, Now You Don’t"—July 27, 2008 3-35

Dr. Jonas Venture, Jr. decides to turn Spider Skull Island into a museum for his father and holds a party to commemorate the occasion, inviting Dr. Venture, Brock, Hank, Dean, the Action Man, Kano, Otto Aquarius, Dr. Entmann, Col. Gentlemen (turns out he isn’t dead from “Twenty Years To Midnight), Pete White, Billy Quizboy, Professor Impossible (who’s become a drunken loser since Sally left him for Jonas, Jr.), Scaramantula (who use to own Spider Skull Island until the Original Team Venture took it over), and Brainulo. However, the night turns into a disaster as the Pirates mutiny against Jonas, Jr. and Dr. Venture gets pissed as Jonas, Jr.’s painfully obvious attempts to rewrite himself into his brother’s place in Venture history.

First off, three nudity warnings here: first, we get Sally naked when the Pirate Captain barges in on her accidentally, but her skin quickly turns invisible. Then, we get Ned’s callused penis dangling around as the Pirate Captain tries to get him to put his pants on. And finally, we see Col. Gentlemen’s old penis in the flashback explaining why he appeared dead to Dean and Hank; he had a fight with his loverboy Kiki and fell into a diabetic coma eating comfort junk food. Now, this is a good episode, but it’s not the best one in the season. That doesn’t mean it isn’t bad; it’s just that the other episodes are very good. This one just looks bad by comparison. 7/10.

36. "The Lepidopterists"—August 3, 2008 3-36

This episode takes place immediately after “Tears Of A Sea Cow,” took place after “Now Museum, Now You Don’t.” Why they didn’t put these in order (“Tears,” “Now Museum,” and “The Lepidopterists.”) is beyond me. In this one, since The Monarch can’t arch Dr. Thaddeus Venture, he’s decided to settle for the other Dr. Venture, Jonas, Jr. However, Jonas, Jr. has never fought a supervillain before and nearly kills The Monarch, endangering the truce between The Guild Of Calamitous Intent and OSI. Luckily, two Lepidopterists and Brock Samson come to set him straight. Plus, there’s a subplot with Henchmen # 1, 21, and 24 trying to sabotage Jonas, Jr.’s compound.

I liked this episode, especially how they explain the whole nature between the heroes and villains in the world of the Venture Bros.’s world: basically, the good guys play along with the villains so that they don’t go all crazy and completely f*** up the world. I also loved Henchmen #1, especially his name: Scott Hall. He’s the perfect henchmen, yet you just know he’s gonna die; he’s just a great way to poke fun at all those henchmen clichés. I also like the name of the episode; lepidopterists are people who collect butterflies and moths. 8/10.

37. "ORB"—August 10, 2008 3-29

Dr. Venture and Billy Quizboy go on a Da Vinci Code-like quest to find a mysterious orb that dates back to the late great Col. Lloyd Venture, Dr. Venture’s grandfather or great-grandfather; they didn’t say which. However, this orb has a dark past, one that must be protected at all costs. And, the man who will protect that past? Brock Samson. How will he protect it? By killing Dr. Venture!!!!

Again, this is a weak episode. In fact, I find it to be the weakest. Like “Now Museum, Now You Don’t,” this isn’t a bad episode, it just looks bad by comparison to the other ones. And, it might have a little to do with my dislike of anything related to the Da Vinci Code. However, I did enjoy the flashback to the Guild’s early days, before they became the Guild Of Calamitous Intent. I also enjoyed the cameos from Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, and Aleister Crowly; I would have liked to seen Nicola Telsa, who was attacking the zeppelin they were in. It was also nice to see the ancestors of Dr. Venture, Phantom Limb (Fantômas), and Dr. Orpheus. I also liked the “Rusty Venture” show intro popping up randomly, and Hunter Gathers first appearance in his new female body. 7/10.

38. "The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together (Part I)"—August 17, 2008 3-38

In the previous episode, Brock accidentally terminates his contract with OSI, leading to a trio of assassins to come after him: Heinrich "Herr Trigger" Triggermensch, an East German bi-athlete who gets sexual pleasure from finishing off his victims; Russell "Go Fish" Sturgeon, a specialist in maritime assassinations; Jean-Claude Le Tueur, a big-game hunter who enjoys Silver-Age comics and exotic weapons. Now, Brock and the rest of Team Venture go on the lam. Luckily, for him, he gets help form Hunter Gathers and Molotov Cocktease. Also, because of Jonas, Jr.’s excessive attack, The Monarch now has permission to arch Dr. Venture due to a loophole saying that excessive attacks can be avenged by goin after the attacker’s family. So, the Monarch storms the Venture Compound, only to find Sgt. Hatred, distraught from his breakup with his wife.

Great episode. It has a lot of action and laughs. Brock’s fights with the assassins are amazing, a great mix of action and comedy. I also liked the cameos from two characters who first appeared in “The Invisible Hand Of Fate”: Shore Leave and Mile High, now born-again Christians known as Holy Diver and Sky Pilot. They have a hilarious moment in which they take their time to help Brock and when they finally help him, all they do is pray. And, there are some very funny moments with The Monarch and his team storming the compound only to find the Ventures gone. Also, we get a little nipple action from Dr. Mrs. The Monarch. Sadly, the exclusive online intro from AdultSwim.com isn’t on this disc. It wasn’t even in the special features! What gives!? 10/10.

39. " The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together (Part II)"—August 24, 2008 3-39

Things don’t look good for Team Venture. They’ve been arrested by the LAPD, and now OSI leader Gen. Treister decides to handle the Brock Samson problem himself. However, the Cleaner comes through and frees them. Meanwhile, The Monarch brings the Co to the Venture Compound. Eventually, Brock and the Ventures return to the compound, as Brock masterminds an entire battle between OSI and The Monarch’s men, which leads to Henchman 24’s death and Brock quitting.

This is an awesome episode. The interrogation scenes are hilarious. I love the Cleaner; think of Mr. Clean as a superhero. The Monarch and Henchmen 21 and 24’s interrogation of H.E.L.P.eR. is funny. And, the epic battle at the end is great. Though, I thought the one at the end of “Showdown At Cremation Creek” was better. I also enjoyed Toby Huss as Gen. Treister; he’s like a taller but a little more mellow Cotton Hill. And, I was glad they brought the Lepidopterists back. Plus, The Monarch’s supersuit is awesome!!!! But, the best thing about this episode is the questions it leaves unanswered for Season 4. What will the Ventures do without Brock as their bodyguard, especially with Hank and Dean’s clones now gone? Are the clones gone? Will Dr. Venture make more? And, what is Henchmen 21 going to do without 24? Why would he do that!? Why would 24 buckle up!!!!? 10/10.

The only special features are commentary from the creators and deleted scenes. It’s a little sparse; they could have at least made an effort with at least one more special feature. All in all, this was the best season yet. The only problem I had with the show is the voices. They don’t have enough diversity in the voiceover cast, and a lot of the characters sound like. It’s kind of hard to get into a new character if he or she sounds a little like another one. And, it probably didn’t need to be uncensored, but that was nice. Other than that, Season 3 was great. The show was just on fire with the action, comedy, and satire. Plus, they had several touching moments throughout. Sure the comedy and action maybe the selling points, but it’s the heart that makes the show work. It’s not just an action/comedy parody of sci-fi and superheroes; it’s about people just trying to do their best in the world despite the fact that there are people out there who are better at certain things then they are. Hell, the whole point of the show is that you just can’t give up if you fail; then you’ll be proven to be a failure. Just like the first two seasons, it looks like The Venture Bros. is just going to get better and better.

Highlight: The OSI Intro. Those two planes batting around that severed head is just hilarious! And, who doesn’t love amalgams of G.I. Joe and the Village People!?

Recommended.

[Deadpool is Insane]

I see that Spoiler tag is already getting some use!

[Kermit The Hulk]

May 29, 2009 23:08:59 GMT -5 Deadpool is Insane said:

I see that Spoiler tag is already getting some use!

Honestly, the main reason I posted the Futurama reviews was so I could used the Spoiler feature.

[Aaron E. Dangerously]

May 29, 2009 23:04:02 GMT -5 Kermit The Hulk said:

The Venture Bros. Season 3.
2-Disc DVD.

My favorite season. So many classic moments. Problem I have is when I show it to people, they don't get a lot of the jokes, because they tend to reference a bit back to stuff from season 2 and occasionally season 1. Tis a bummer, but I still enjoy it.

[Kermit The Hulk]

Hey you! Get out my dreams and into this DVD review thread!

WHAT!!!!? I had a long night, yesterday! Lay off me!!!!

Macho Madness: The Randy Savage Ultimate Collection.
3-disc DVD



There’s a deleted scene in “Pulp Fiction” (well, not in the movie, but on the DVD) in which Mia Wallace’s first meeting with Vincent Vega involves her filming him with a camera and asking him some questions. Now, all these questions have a common theme: Elvis or The Beatles. Basically, when it comes to important subjects, usually a person has two choices. And, which ever one a person chooses tells you something about that person. For example, there are only two kinds of music fans: Elvis fans and Beatles fans. You can like both, but you prefer one over the other. No one likes them equally, and in some point in your life you have to make a choice between the two. It doesn’t have to be Elvis or the Beatles. It could be anything: Brittany or Christina. Prince or Michael Jackson. The Brady Bunch or The Partridge Family. Betty or Veronica. Star Wars or Star Trek. Or, for the sake of this review, Hulk Hogan or “Macho Man” Randy Savage.

Me, I prefer the Macho Man. Now, today I would say that it’s because Savage was a better wrestler than Hogan. Though way back when I first started watching wrestling, he was just cooler. Savage had this weird charisma to him. Sure, his promos didn’t make any sense, but he had a lot of that charisma to pull them off. Plus, Hogan came off more as a good-two-shoes. Savage was a tough guy who wasn’t afraid to do what it took win. Sure, he was a heel, but I could still sense that attitude when he was a face. And, he had one thing Hogan didn’t: Miss Elizabeth. Yeah, I know that comes off as a little horny fanboy-ish. But, Elizabeth was important to Savage. She brought him down to Earth and helped to get him over as a face. All in all, Savage was just cooler and cockier than Hogan; and that’s what appealed to me.

So, it shouldn’t be a surprise that I picked up this DVD when it came out. Macho Madness: The Randy Savage Ultimate Collection is 3-disc of Savage matches and promos. Now, I will admit that I was a little disappointed that there is no documentary for the Macho Man. But, I understand why that is: Savage and Vince McMahon still aren’t buddies. I doubt that WWE would have been able to even get Savage to agree to do the documentary. Now, I know Vince was able to patch things up with Bret Hart, the guy he screwed out of the WWF Title; but Bret is a little more level-headed and well saner than Savage. So, no documentary. Though, on the upside, at WWE has decided to be kind to Savage and praise him for the great wrestler that he is. I mean, we could have gotten another “Self-Destruction Of The Ultimate Warrior” DVD; and nobody wants that. So, without further adieu, let’s go on Disc 1:

The DVD begins with our hosts: Matt Striker and Maria. Did they pull these names out of a hat? Now, I can see putting Striker in the hosting position. He’s pretty knowledgeable about wrestling. And, he does a pretty good Savage impression. But, Maria!? Why? I don’t get it. Anyway, we get a little background info on Savage’s father, Angelo Poffo, thanks to Maria reading it off the cue cards.

I’m kidding!

They probably used a teleprompter.

Anyway, Angelo Poffo was a wrestler in the 1950s. He also held the world sit up record for several years, his total being 6,033 in one sitting. But, Poffo did more than just wrestler and do sit up. He was a promoter, running the International Championship Wrestling promotion, which held cards in Tennessee, Kentucky, and my home state of Arkansas. ICW was founded by Poffo because he felt his sons weren’t getting the pushes he felt they deserved. And, yes, I said sons. Poffo had another kid: Lanny Poffo, AKA “The Genius.” Savage was originally a baseball player, playing as a catcher in the St. Louis Cardinals, Cincinnati Reds, and Chicago White Sox farm systems. He started wrestling in the off-seasons, eventually becoming a full-time wrestler. He got the name “Savage” from Ole Anderson, who said that the name Poffo didn't fit someone who "wrestled like a savage." Savage and his brother stayed with his father’s promotion until it disbanded. They then joined Jerry Lawler’s CWA promotion in Memphis. Then, in 1985, Savage headed up north to the WWF. Now, there isn’t any footage of Savage’s pre-WWF days, which is most likely due to WWE not owning any of it. But, we do get Savage first WWF match:

Match 1. “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Rick McGraw—Prime Time Wrestling, July 9, 1985.

By the way, even though the DVD case and several people on the DVD say Randy “Macho Man” Savage, I’m gonna type “Macho Man” Randy Savage because that’s how I say and because it’s just easier for me. Anyway, this is a real trip. Savage comes out billed as “Professional Wrestling’s Number 1” free agent. That was his gimmick when he first came into the WWF: every manager in the WWF at the time was trying to get the Macho Man to sign them as his manager. And, Savage really plays it up, demanding that Howard Finkel give him a proper introduction and that the cameras be cleaned before he’s to be filmed. And, of course, there is the sequined robes. I especially liked this first one he wore. It’s just purple sequins, but I like it. It’s simple yet elegant. And, I really like the classic Macho Man attire: the trunks with three stars and “Macho Man” on the back and the yellow knee pads and boots. Why he every went to those weird multi-colored body suits I’ll never know. Anywho, this is a pretty good match. It’s a lot different from the preliminary I’ve seen. For one, McGraw gets in a bit of offense. Hell, he looks just as good as Savage does in this match. I also liked how Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Okerlund make a big deal out of Savage going to the top turnbuckle. You gotta remember, this was 1985. There weren’t a lot of high flyers back then. Savage was a pioneer in the high flying style. Sure, he doesn’t have a lot of fancy moves like Jeff Hardy or Rey Mysterio, but he did helped to make that style of wrestling popular in America. 7/10.

Before we go to Match 2, we get some clips of Savage introducing Miss Elizabeth as his manager. Now, this made for some interesting storylines. You see, Savage was a huge heel back then, so much so he earned the moniker of “one of the most hated men in wrestling.” Yet, he was managed by one of the most innocent people you’ve ever seen in your life. Miss Elizabeth was such a classy and beautiful lady and was basically the total opposite of Savage’s brutish ways. But, it worked. In fact, Elizabeth as his manager made Savage more of a heel because he would always treat her badly and would use her as a shield whenever an opponent came charging at him. This odd pairing led to some great storylines, such as his feud with George “The Animal” Steele. They had a great rivalry with Steele becoming enamored with Miss Elizabeth. Sadly, we don’t get any matches between the two. But, it ain’t that sad: the matches between Savage and Steele weren’t the best in the world. They’re more like at the opposite end of the spectrum. And, Savage had rivalries with other wrestlers that produced many great matches, such as this one:

Match 2. “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat—Boston Garden, December 7, 1985.

Yes, these two had several matches with each other. It wasn’t just at WrestleMania III. This was one of their first encounters together. And, it’s a good one. Like their WrestleMania, it’s quick; but they do a lot in it. Plus, it had a flying hammerlock from Steamboat. How many times have you seen that move!? Hell, this was the first time I’ve ever seen it. And, it’s nice to hear that Jesse Ventura’s commentary is intact. 8/10.

Match 3. WWF Title Match: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Hulk Hogan—Madison Square Garden, December 30, 1985.

Another early encounter between two guys who would go on to have a great match at a WrestleMania. This one is a little bigger though. I mean, it is for the WWF Title, which is surprising considering that Savage had only been in the WWF for 5 months at the time. Yet, here he is challenging Hogan for the WWF Title. Also, it’s the first time we hear “Pomp And Circumstance” as Savage’s entrance music (well, on this DVD anyway). The match itself is okay. It’s not bad, but they’ve been had better, like the one at WrestleMania V. And, I didn’t like the countout ending. Though, it does have a nice ref bump. And, I liked Savage wearing the WWF Title belt as if he won it. 6/10.

Though, he didn’t win the WWF Title, Savage would soon become champion. Intercontinental Champion:

Match 4. Intercontinental Title Match: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Tito Santana—Boston Garden, February 8, 1986.

Now, this match is already on the History Of The Intercontinental Title DVD, but it is a good one that deserves to be on both. And, it features the greatest heel referee of all time: Danny Davis! Though, he’s wearing khakis instead of the usually black pants refs back then. I don’t why. Maybe he didn’t do his laundry that day. Anyway, I really enjoyed this match. Savage is on top form, and I never really realized how good a wrestler Tito Santana was. I was younger and couldn’t really appreciate well guys performed in the ring. It was a nice little education I got watching this match. 8/10.

Match 5. Intercontinental Title Match: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Bruno Sammartino—Boston Garden, January 3, 1987.

Talk about surreal. Not only is this a DVD dedicated to a guy who isn’t in Vince’s good graces, but it also features a match with another guy who’s got a beef with WWE: Bruno Sammartino. Though, to be fair, WWE has never really had a problem with Sammartino. He’s always been praised as one of the WWF/E’s greatest wrestlers, and they usually mention that he is the longest reigning WWF/E Champion whenever they get the chance. It’s mainly Sammartino who has the problem with Vince and his company; he never did like the gimmicks and wanted to play up wrestling as more sports than entertainment. Though, that doesn’t really matter in this match. It’s an okay match. Sammartino looks good, considering he’s past his prime in this match. And, there is a lot more brawling in this match than I thought there would be. However, the ending is confusing. While they’re on the outside, Savage hits Sammartino in the back with a chair as he’s trying to reenter the ring, doing this right in front of referee Joey Marella. Yet, Marella awards the match to Savage on a countout. Sammartino should be the winner on a DQ. Oh well. Though, I do like that after the match Sammartino locked Savage in a bear hug; and they had to bring out referees and wrestlers to pry Sammartino off of Savage. How long has it been since the bear hug was seen as a dangerous move? It’s also nice to see a few Boston Garden matches on this DVD. Sure, Madison Square Garden gets all the praise and prestige; but the WWF did just as well in Boston as they did in New York. And, I like the look of the arena. 6/10.

Next, we move on to one of the most memorable matches in not just WWF/E history but in wrestling history:

Match 6. Intercontinental Title Match: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat—WrestleMania III, March 29, 1987.

Yeah, this match has been on a lot of DVDs. But, it’s one of the greatest of all time. So, it gets a little leeway on the overexposure wrap. I liked that they showed the pre-match promos before the match. They are pretty good, especially Steamboat’s. Plus, I like that cheesy 1980s background they had for the interview area. And, I really like Jesse Ventura’s commentary in this match, mainly because I miss heel announcing. Dammit! I sick of the lack of heel announcers in WWE! I wanna hear someone praise Edge and Chris Jericho for a change! As for the match…well…what more can be said? It’s one of the best matches of all time. These two guys put on a wrestling clinic in just 15 minutes and pretty much stole the show at WrestleMania III. I could go through the entire Oxford English Dictionary to find numerous adjectives to describe this match, but they’ve all been used to describe it several times over. All I can do is just give my ranking: 10/10.

Striker and Maria appear again. Well, they’ve been appearing the whole; this is the just the first time I’ve mentioned them since saying that they’re the hosts. Anyway, they mention how the Macho Man was becoming popular with the fans due to his charisma, in-ring abilities, and Miss Elizabeth. He eventually became a face and went on to feud with another famous Intercontinental Champion:

Match 7. Intercontinental Title Match: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS The Honky Tonk Man—The Main Event, February 5, 1988.

Ah, The Honky Tonk Man. He’s the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time. And, he was a great heel. Though he originally came into the WWF as a face, he never really connected with the fans. So, they made him a heel, and the rest is history. SPEAKING OF history, this match took place on The Main Event, the highest rated wrestling program of all time, the one that had Hogan losing the WWF Title to Andre The Giant and Andre selling the title to the Million Dollar Man. But, enough about that! We get some more pre-match promos for this match. That’s another thing that wrestling really needs to bring back. Enough with the freaking recaps! They’re boring and played too damn much! Just let the wrestlers speak for themselves! Also, I learned something on this part of the DVD: apparently the Honky Tonk Man had a girlfriend, Peggy Sue (who fictional girlfriend, sometimes played by Sherri Martel but more often than not played by Jimmy Hart dressed in drag; on this occasion, it’s Martel in the role, thank God!). I never knew about this angle. Now, I know, and knowing is half the battle. G.I. JOE!!!! The match itself is okay. Though I prefer their match on Saturday Night’s Main Event that featured the birth of the Mega Powers. 6/10.

Like I said, on that same night, Hogan lost the WWF Title to Andre The Giant. And, of course, Andre sold the belt to “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase. However, then WWF President Jack Tunney didn’t allow the sale to go final. The WWF Title was declared vacant for the first time in its history and a 14-man tournament (two wrestlers, Hogan and Andre, were given byes) was set up for WrestleMania IV. Now, WrestleMania IV isn’t one of the better WrestleManias. It was long (almost 4 hours) and just had way too much going on. But, it is one of the most remembered WrestleManias, and that is mainly because of Savage. You see, in order to keep the PPV from going on too long, some of the matches ended in draws, which gave Ted DiBiase and the One Man Gang byes in the tournament (that’s also why they made it a 14 man tournament instead of 16). However, only one guy in the tournament had to wrestle through each round: Savage. He first defeated “The Natural” Butch Reed. Then, the Macho Man went on to score a victory over Greg “The Hammer” Valentine. After that, Savage got a DQ victory over the One Man Gang when he was caught using his manager Slick’s cane. So, it came down to the finals:

Match 8. 14-Man Tournament Finals For The WWF Title: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase.

Now, remember: Savage had to wrestle three guys to get into this match. Granted DiBiase had wrestled two guys, he still got a bye into the Finals. Also, DiBiase brought out Andre The Giant to be in his corner; Virgil had been taken out earlier in the night. So the whole “overcoming the odds” angle has been built up nicely throughout the nice. However, luckily for Savage, Hulk Hogan came to his aide. Before the match, we get a cameo from Bob Uecker and Vanna White! Gotta love Vince! If they’re remotely famous, he’ll put them on TV to bring in just a few more viewers! Anyway, Uecker does the announcing for the final match. I don’t know why they had Vanna White out there. I don’t remember this match being contested under hangman rules. You can also catch a glimpse of Robin Leach, who was sitting at the timekeeper’s area; he introduced the tournament earlier on. And, of course, you can see Donald Trump at ringside, as the event was held at Trump Plaza. Strangely, DiBiase comes out to no music. I can’t remember if it’s because they hadn’t made him an entrance theme yet or what. The match is pretty good, especially with the odds stacked against Savage. Though, it is the history that surrounds the match and WrestleMania IV that really makes the match. 7/10.

Match 9. Steel Cage Match for the WWF Title: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase—Madison Square Garden, June 25, 1988.

After WrestleMania IV, DiBiase continued to chase the WWF Title, which led to this match. Still no entrance music for DiBiase, so I guess they hadn’t made it yet. Anyway, the match is good, but the announcing is not. Lord Alfred Hayes calls the steel cage “iron bars.” “Superstar” Billy Graham goes on and on about trying to talk Elizabeth into doing some power lifting to give her some muscle mass. And, I have no idea who the lead announcer is, but he’s just bad. I mean, just terrible. But, they don’t take away from the match. Like I said, it’s pretty good. Plus, a fan gets involved, jumping over the guardrail and helping the Macho Man out as he tries to escape and fight out Virgil who’s preventing him from doing so. 8/10.

And, that marks the end of Disc 1. Well, not entirely the end, there is a special feature on this disc: the wedding of Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth at SummerSlam 1991. Now, I was confused as to why it was on this disc. Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that it shouldn’t be on the DVD. I think it’s inclusion on the set is a wise choice. I just don’t understand why it’s on Disc 1. The first disc goes from 1985 to 1988, and the wedding took place in 1991. I just think they should have put it on Disc 2. Hell, the match that featured Savage and Elizabeth’s reunion is on Disc 2. So, why not the wedding? Anyway, the feature starts off with Savage’s proposal to Elizabeth. Then, it moves onto the wedding. Before the ceremony, there is a musical tribute to Savage and Elizabeth. And, let me tell you: the song they play SUCKS!!!! It sounds like every bad 1980s romantic duet rolled into one!!!! After that, the ceremony begins. The best part of the whole ceremony is Bobby “The Brain” Heenan making fun of the whole ceremony and Gorilla Monsoon “Rowdy” Roddy Piper threatening to punch him after each remark. Sadly, we don’t get any footage from the Macho Man’s bachelor party or from the wedding reception, which had the infamous moment of Elizabeth opening a gift containing a cobra inside Jake “The Snake” Roberts. Oh well. Onto Disc 2:

Match 10. The Mega Powers (“Macho Man” Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan) VS The Mega Bucks (“The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase and Andre The Giant)—SummerSlam, August 29, 1988.

Now, this was the main event for the first SummerSlam, and it’s fondly remembered around these parts for that infamous moment in which Elizabeth takes off her skirt to distract Andre and DiBiase. Other than that, the match isn’t all that memorable. It’s not the worst match in the world, but I’ve seen better. 5/10.

Now, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention one of the greatest storylines of all time: The Mega Powers Explode. It was a great angle, with Hogan and Savage forming a partnership that lasted for a good part of two years. However, it all came crashing down. Hogan began insisting that Elizabeth accompany him for his matches, which Savage had some problem with. Savage soon became paranoid, fearing that Hogan was out to steal his woman and his WWF Title. However, Hogan denied it. During a 1989 tag team match that pitted the Mega Powers against The Twin Towers (Akeem and The Big Bossman), Savage was thrown onto Miss Elizabeth, knocking her unconscious on the outside of the ring. Seeing this, Hogan scooped her up and, as the match continued, carried her to the backstage area for medical attention. Savage was upset that Hogan left him alone to battle Bossman and Akeem. Upon his return to the ring, Savage greeted Hogan with some anger and a slap to the face of his partner. Then, he left the ring area. Hogan continued the match, winning single-handedly. Hogan exited the ring and reached the backstage area, where Savage attacked him, turning Savage heel. The whole storyline all came to a head at WrestleMania V:

Match 11. WWF Title Match: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Hulk Hogan—WrestleMania V, April 2, 1989.

What a difference a year makes. Just a year earlier, Savage had won the WWF Title, and Hogan was there to congratulate him. Now, they were both fighting for the title, and some would say the affections of Miss Elizabeth. And, in the very place where Savage had won the WWF Title. There was a lot of good drama and excitement surrounding the match. But, that isn’t to say that there ain’t a lot of good in ring action in this match. On the contrary, I find this to be one of Savage’s best matches ever. He is in top form, and he really makes Hogan look better than he is. Though, I’m not saying that Hogan is a slouch in this match. He pulled out some good moves. I especially like it when he bodyslammed Savage to the outside. Plus, Hogan sells real well in this match. Well, at least until the end. 10/10.

Match 12. WWF Title Match: “Macho King” Randy Savage VS Hulk Hogan—The Main Event, February 23, 1990.

We skip ahead to a year, thankfully. The rest of 1989 had Savage becoming the “Macho King” after winning the King Of The Ring title from “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, making Sherri Martel his new manager and Queen, and teaming up with Zeus from the movie “No Holds Barred” to take on Hulk Hogan and Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. The DVD doesn’t mention the Zeus part, but we do get plenty of footage of the Macho King and Queen Sherri being carried to the ring on the shoulders of several men. Nevertheless, Hogan and Savage were still feuding, but the WWF was building to a big match between Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior for WrestleMania VI. So, the feud had to be blown off. That’s where this match came in. It was a pretty big match, having then World Heavyweight Boxing Champion Buster Douglas filling in a special guest referee. We even get an interview from Douglas before the match. I should note that Mike Tyson was originally suppose to be the special guest referee for this match, but Douglas’s upset victory led to the change of referees. Though, as we all know, Tyson would eventually appear in the WWF at WrestleMania XIV. Anyway, the match itself is pretty good. It’s not as good as the previous one, but I enjoyed it. I tell you want I didn’t enjoy: Savage’s attire at the time. I was never a big fan of the multi-colored long tights he wore in the early 1990s. I just always preferred those trunks with the 3 stars on them. Also, the match ends with Douglas making the 3 count for Hogan. Savage objects and goads Douglas into hitting him. Sure enough, Douglas punches him and knocks Savage out. 8/10.

Match 13. Mixed Tag Team Match: “Macho King” Randy Savage and Queen Sherri VS Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire—WrestleMania VI, April 1, 1990.

I should point out that Rhodes and Sapphire came out with Miss Elizabeth. And, there is a huge travesty on this match: The greatest entrance theme of all-time, Dusty Rhodes “Common Man,” is replaced with some generic techno crap!!!! WHAT THE smork!!!! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!!!!? I don’t understand why WWE would do this, and I hope someone got fired because of it. Anyway, this match isn’t all that great. Again, there are worst matches out there, but you can’t really expect a match with Sapphire in it to be a 5 star classic. Honestly, I don’t even know why this match is on the DVD. I would have left it off in favor of a better match, especially if they aren’t going to put “Common Man” on this disc. 5/10.

I should point out that throughout the DVD, Striker keeps chastising Elizabeth for constantly interfering in the matched. I was a little taken back by this. Usually, on these DVDs, the subject is praised by the hosts. You hardly hear a bad word or criticism. So, I was surprised to see Striker to actually say it was wrong for Elizabeth to interfere in numerous. Also, I don’t really know why he’s complaining. I mean, she is a manager. Isn’t that what a good one is suppose to do: help his or her client win by any means? I don’t really get it. So, let’s just move on.

Match 14. Retirement Match: “Macho King” Randy Savage VS The Ultimate Warrior—WrestleMania VII, March 24, 1991.

I’ve just noticed: there are a lot of WrestleMania matches on this set. And, they’re all very good. I guess that would make the Macho Man the first Mr. WrestleMania. Well, this match shows that he deserves the moniker. It’s a very exciting, fast-paced, back-and-forth affair. And, Savage really makes the Warrior look like a million bucks. Plus, that ending with Elizabeth saving Savage from Sherri is just electric. 8/10.

After that match, Savage turned face and “retired.” As stated, it was retirement match, and Savage lost. So, he “retired,” even though he stayed on TV in a non-wrestling capacity and Warrior got fired in August. Though, Savage wouldn’t stay out of the ring for long. By the end of the year, Savage would get reinstated, due to a legendary feud:

Match 15. “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Jake “The Snake” Roberts—This Tuesday In Texas, December 3, 1991.

As I stated earlier, Roberts had ambushed the wedding reception of Savage and Elizabeth with a cobra. Then, Roberts tied up Savage in the ring ropes and forced a cobra to bite his arm. This led to Savage being reinstated and this match. Now, the feud between Savage and Roberts was just excellent, mainly because it was very violent and intense for its time. Remember this is 1991 WWF. It was cartoonish, kid-friendly time. Yet, this feud seemed like something that would happen in the Attitude Era. As for the match, it’s short but sweet. Not a lot of action goes on, but the drama surrounding the feud and Roberts mercilessly DDTing Savage over and over again brought it up to a special level. Though, I didn’t like that they left the part where Roberts slapped Elizabeth. That was an important part of the feud. I have no idea why they would leave it out. And, I don’t buy that PG, kid-friendly tone they’re going for these days. Because, we’ve seen some women get attacked by men in the last few months. 8/10

Match 16. WWF Title Match: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Ric Flair—WrestleMania VIII, April 5, 1992.

Another classic match from the Macho Man at WrestleMania. Hell, I dare say that Savage deserves the title of Mr. WrestleMania more so than Shawn Michaels. Anyway, this match had a pretty good feud surrounding it as well. The story went like this: Flair claimed that he and Miss Elizabeth had dated before she had married Savage. He even had photos of their relationship, which were published in WWF Magazine. Of course, the photos turned out to be fake. Anyway, like I said, this match is great. Savage is always at top form at WrestleMania, and Ric Flair is…well, Ric Flair. I don’t think the guy can have a bad match. By the way, I like the Shane McMahon cameo in this match. And, here’s a conundrum: when Miss Elizabeth runs down to be in Savage’s corner during the match, a whole slew of backstage officials come out and freak the smork out because she’s there. Yet, it was a-okay for Mr. Perfect to be allowed a ringside when everyone knew damn well that he was going to help Ric Flair. As The Hurricane would say: Whassupwitdat!? 10/10.

And, that brings us to an end of Disc 2. But, before we go onto Disc 3, we have some special features to look over on this disc. Remember when I said that I was confused as to why the Savage/Elizabeth wedding was on Disc 1 and not Disc 2? Well, this is another reason why: one of the Special Features on this disc is Miss Elizabeth’s debut. I don’t understand. They showed clips of her debut on Disc 1. So why not put the whole thing on the first disc? I don’t get why WWE can’t put things in order on their DVDs. I mean, all the matches are in order! Why not the special features? It just baffles me. Anyway, this is a good moment, mainly for Vince McMahon creaming his shorts when Miss Elizabeth comes out. He literally sounds like he’s trying to hide the fact that he’s having an orgasm. The other special feature on Disc 2 is the Coronation of the Macho King. His coronation is attended by all the heels in the WWF at the time, featuring a nice little speech from The Genius! Yes! This is the first, and well only, appearance of Savage’s brother on this DVD. Though, there is a reason for this: Savage and The Genius never really appeared together on TV a lot when they were in the WWF. Hell, I didn’t even know they were brothers until I read it in a WWF Magazine article a few years back. But, I digress. Let’s go to Disc 3:

Match 17: WWF Title Match: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Shawn Michaels—Sheffield, England, April 19, 1992.

Talk about a rarity! I never even knew these two had a one-on-one match, let alone one for the WWF Title! And, what a gem it is. You got a young Shawn Michaels taking on Savage in his prime. Yeah, this is a good one alright. 8/10.

Match 18: “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Bret “The Hitman” Hart VS Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels—Worcester, MA, July 20, 1992.

Here’s another rare match I doubt most fans knew happen. Hell, I didn’t even know this match happened until a few years ago. And, this is a goodie. I mean, you got for of the best wrestlers of all time in one match! It doesn’t get any better than this. Also, I thought this was strange: during the WrestleMania VIII match, they dubbed over Ric Flair’s early 1990s WWF theme with his current. Yet, on this match, they don’t. I think somebody forgot do their job. Though, they don’t have worry about making that mistake anymore. Because, Vince fired that somebody. 8/10.

Now, during his “retirement” in 1991, Savage started doing commentary on WWF TV. And, he returned to commentary around 1993. But, this created some problems. You see, Savage still wanted to wrestler. However, McMahon felt that he would be better suited in a commentator role and wrestling on special occasions against the likes of the Repo Man, Doink The Clown, and Crush. In fact, our next match is one of those special occasions:

Match 19: WWF Title Match: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Yokozuna—Monday Night Raw, February 28, 1994.

I’ve noticed that Yokozuna has been getting a lot more love on WWE DVDs as of late. For example, he was featured in the Greatest Superstars Of The 1990s DVD. Though I can see why. The guy was 500 pounds, but he could fly around the ring like a lightweight. So, it’s not surprising that they have a pretty good match here. 7/10.

Now, in the mid 1990s, there was a trend of WWF wrestlers going over to WCW. And, Savage was one of the guys to jump on this bandwagon. Like I said, Savage want to continue wrestling, while McMahon wanted to keep him on commentary. This is pretty much the reason why Savage went to WCW. I don’t really blame Savage for doing this. He cold still go in the ring, as proved in our next match:

Match 20: Lifeguard Match: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Ric Flair—Bash At The Beach, July 16, 1995.

Since I know you’re asking it, a lifeguard match is basically the same damn thing as a lumberjack match: two guys wrestle in the ring with a bunch of wrestlers on the outside to keep the participants in the ring. The reason they called it a lifeguard match was because this match took place at Bash At The Beach. And, not just any Bash At The Beach! This was the infamous one that took place on an actual beach. By the way, Savage and Flair were feuding at the time because at Slamboree 1995, Flair attacked Savage’s father Angelo Poffo when he came to save his son from being double teamed by Flair and Arn Anderson, going so far as to put him into the Figure Four. This led to another match between Flair and Savage at The Great American Bash. At that match, Poffo was at ringside with a cane. And, during it, Flair kept on going to the outside to stall and eventually knocked out Poffo, stole his cane, and hit Savage with it to win the match. And, that is how we got to this match. By way, all the lifeguards in this match are wearing these crappy orange tie-dye shirts and orange swimming shorts. I don’t know why, but whatever. There were also some stars from the show Baywatch at ringside because WCW was doing some cross promotion with Baywatch in order to bring in more fans. Angelo Poffo was also there, not wearing a shirt for some reason. I guess he was hot and planned to go for a dip after his son’s match. The match itself is okay, but Flair and Savage have had better. 6/10.

SPEAKING OF better matches between Randy Savage and Ric Flair:

Match 21. WCW Title Match: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Ric Flair, Monday Nitro, January 22, 1996.

After Bash At The Beach, Savage would go on to capture the WCW World Title, winning it in the first ever World War 3 battle royal. Though, he lost the title to Flair at Starrcade 1995. This is the rematch between the two. Before the match, we get a little pre-match promo from Savage with an appearance from Hulk Hogan. Anyway, this match is very good. It’s not the best between Savage and Flair, but it was much better than the last one. 8/10.

A few months after this match, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash came to WCW, beginning the nWo Invasion angle. Originally, Savage was on WCW’s side, fighting against the nWo. However, in 1997, Savage decided that if you can’t beat ‘em, then join ‘em. So, he joined the nWo. Then, he began one of his best feuds in WCW:

Match 22. Falls Count Anywhere Match: “Macho Man” Randy Savage VS Diamond Dallas Page, The Great American Bash, June 15, 1997.

Page and Savage had a series of great matches in WCW at this time. I would have liked to seen at least one more of those matches on this DVD, but I’m glad to see that at least one was included on this set. And, this is a good one. You see, Savage could still go, and DDP was getting better as a wrestler. Plus, most of their matches involve both men just beating the hell out of each other with whatever they could get their hands on. This made for a damn good match, especially when they trash the “VIP” area (which looks more like a picnic area at a park) and Savage taking out three referees and a photographer. Also, I like Savage’s attire in this match. Now, I have said that I’m not a fan of his full body suits. But, I really liked his black and white “Madness” suit. It just looked cool to me. And, it’s nice to see Kimberly Page at ringside. Goddamn! That woman is fine!!!! 9/10.

Match 23. Tag Team Match For The WCW Title: “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Sid Vicious VS Kevin Nash and Sting—Bash At The Beach, July 11, 1999.

Our final match on the DVD takes us to WCW in one of their worst years. It was 1999, and things were going down hill for the company. For one, they were having a tag team match with the WCW Title on the line. And, no, Vince Russo was not booking at the time. Anyway, around this time, Savage had taken a hiatus from WCW to have knee surgery. When he returned, he had a new look, sporting a slicked back ponytail-type of hairstyle and had a lot more muscle mass than he normally had. He also brought with him with three valets: Madusa, AKA Alundra Blayze, the WWF Women’s Champion who threw the title into the garbage on an episode of Nitro; Miss Madness, AKA Molly Holly, and his new girlfriend Stephanie Bellars, whom we all know as Gorgeous George. You see, one of WCW’s undercard guys had managed to buy the rights to the name “Gorgeous George” from the family of the original Gorgeous George. So, WCW decided to give the name to Lanny Poffo, who had just signed with the company. However, Lanny never appeared on WCW TV. So, the name went to Savage’s girlfriend. By the way, WCW kept on paying Lanny $150,000 a year even though he never wrestled a single match for them. God! That must have so sweet! Get paid a lot of money by a company and not having to do a thing! No wonder so many people miss WCW! As for this match, whoever pins the champion, at the time Nash, would become champion. That included Nash’s own partner Sting! Why they didn’t just make this a fatal fourway, I’ll never know. Nor am I going to try to figure out why because trying to come up with a logical reason for the stupid decisions WCW made would cause me to go insane. Also at the time, Savage was involved in the angle that saw him abusing women. Anyway, despite all the crap surrounding it, the match is pretty good. And, there is a hilarious moment with Sting falling down, barely missing Sid’s crotch. Yet, Sid sells it like Sting’s head had fallen on his nads. However, the ending of the match made no goddamn sense. During the match, Gorgeous George was in Nash’s corner because on a previous Nitro, she had shown up with two black eyes. Strangely, she turns on Nash and helps Savage win the match. Why she would help the man who had abused her to win the WCW Title I’ll never know. Like I said, trying to come up with a logical reason for the stupid decisions WCW made would drive me crazy. 7/10.

After that, the DVD ends with some stupid skit in which Striker takes Maria off camera and tries to pick her up onto his shoulder like Savage use to do with Elizabeth, only to drop, which we can tell from the sound of her “falling.” It’s oh so hilarious.[/sarcasm] Now, onto the special features. Unlike the first two discs, Disc 3 has a lot of special features, all of them being promos throughout Savage’s career. These promos include: Savage calling Tito Santana “nothing but garbage,” Savage calling Santana and Hulk Hogan “yesterday’s newspaper,” Savage on Jesse “The Body” Ventura’s Body Shop showing off his newly won Intercontinental Title, Savage bringing out a broom and chastising Gene Okerlund for interviewing Miss Elizabeth, Savage getting a little risqué by saying that Macho Madness is “more seductive than sex” and warning Okerlund not to give her the flower from his lapel, Savage visiting a psychiatrist and doing some free word association, Savage calling Ricky Steamboat’s challenge for the Intercontinental Title at WrestleMania III his “cuppa’ coffee in the big time,” Savage calling himself “the cream of the crop” and blaming WWF President Jack Tunney for his loss at WrestleMania III, a Savage promo from when he turned face (an infamous one that ends with Savage yelling to Okerlund “NO MORE QUESTIONS!!!!”), Savage in his Macho King gimmick before he wrestles “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan at Madison Square Garden and forcing Sean Mooney to bow to him, Savage giving a pre-match promo before facing Duggan on SNME, Savage giving a pre-match promo before a steel cage match with the Ultimate Warrior at Madison Square Garden, Savage before his match with Jake “The Snake” Roberts on SNME, Savage giving an interview in an empty arena before a WWF Title Match with Ric Flair, Savage and the Ultimate Warrior talking about their match with Razor Ramon and Ric Flair at Survivor Series 1992, Savage just before his match with Flair on an episode of Nitro, and an nWo paid announcement with Savage calling out DDP and saying that Kimberly Page has “no class with a capital K.” Each one of these is amazing. Though, I like the earlier ones better than the later ones. And, I would have liked to seen a lot more. I mean, they could have dedicated a whole disc to Macho Man promos, and I would have been happy. But, I’m content with the ones they featured on the DVD.

All in all, this is a good DVD set. There were a few things that disappointed me. Yes, there could have been a documentary. Yes, they could have shown some better matches and more promos. But, it didn’t really matter. What is on here is some prime Macho Man goodness. There are a lot of great matches, cool promos, and fantastic angles. And, it was great to relive some memories from my mark days, growing and being amazed by the Macho Man flying around the ring and taking people out left and right while Elizabeth cheered him on. And, let’s not forget, this could have just as easily have been a revisionist hatchet job like the Warrior DVD or worse. There could be no Macho Man DVD at all.

Highlight: the TNT skit with Savage doing free word association with the psychiatrist. It is funny as hell.

Recommended.

[Kermit The Hulk]

Hey! Look! A DVD review!

Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist



Okay, let me get this out of the way: I got something big planned for August. I don’t wanna give it away, but it involves a famous superhero.

Now, that that’s out of the way, let’s get on with this review: “Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist.” Yeah, I know this DVD came out in February; but I’m a lazy procrastinator. Besides, it was low on my Netflix queue for a while. Anyway, let’s get on with it.

Based on the book of the same name by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan, the film stars Michael Cera as Nick O’Leary and Kat Dennings as Norah Silverberg. Nick, a teenager from Hoboken, New Jersey, is heartbroken after his girlfriend, Tris (Alexis Dziena), breaks up with him. His friends and musical bandmates in the queercore band The Jerk-Offs (of which Nick is the only straight member), Thom (Aaron Yoo) and Dev (Rafi Gavron), finally convince him to leave the house to perform at a club later that night only because his favorite band "Where's Fluffy?" would be playing somewhere in New York City that night. Norah and her best friend, Caroline, (Ari Graynor) attend the same high school as Tris. Norah and Tris dislike each other as Norah is smart and motivated, having been accepted into Brown University, while Tris is more of the typical self-interested brat. Tris shows Norah and Caroline a mix CD Nick has made for her and throws it away. Norah takes the mix CD out of the garbage and says that Tris does not appreciate the artwork or the songs. She has been recovering the discarded mix CDs for some time now. That night, they all end up at Arlene's Grocery on Manhattan's Lower East Side where The Jerk-Offs are playing. While performing, Nick sees Tris in the audience with another guy. Meanwhile, Norah eyes Nick on stage. Thom and Dev meet Beefy Guy/Lethario (Jonathan B. Wright). Norah asks Nick to be her boyfriend for five minutes to prove to Tris that she is going out with someone. Norah kisses Nick, not knowing that Nick is Tris' ex, and incites Tris' jealousy. Caroline gets drunk and Norah wants to take her home, but Nick's band-mates, who see Norah as a potential girlfriend for Nick, give Norah some clothes they know that Nick likes and then offer to take Caroline home so she can ride with Nick. Nick and Norah decide to try to find the "Where's Fluffy?" concert. Meanwhile, Caroline wakes up in the back of the van and overhears Thom and Dev having a graphic sexual conversation. (They are actually just trying to come up with a new name for their band). She freaks out, thinking they’re going to rape her and runs away when the van stops. Nick gets a call from his band-mates telling him that they lost Caroline, Nick tells Norah what happened, and they meet with the band-mates to try to find her. After no luck finding Caroline, they hope that she is already at the "Where's Fluffy?" concert. They all go to a club to see if the band and Caroline are there. Nick decides to show he is interested in Norah and starts dancing with her only to be interrupted by Norah's ex, Tal (Jay Baruchel). The rest of the movie shows them trying to find Caroline, Nick trying to get over Tris, Norah trying to get over Tal, and the title characters falling in love.

All in all, it’s an okay film. It’s not laugh out loud funny, but it’s got it’s fair share of comical moments. However, it’s more romantic than comedy. As for the acting, Michael Cera is okay. Sure, he’s playing himself in this film again; but he plays the sad sack loser well. Kat Dennings, on the other hand, is fantastic. Teenage angst just pours out of her like sweat, but she’s also got a sweet side to her. And, the chemistry between Dennings and Cera is quite good. Their passive-aggressive flirtation is what pretty much keeps the film going. At times, the movie doesn’t really seem like a movie but a tourist film focusing on all the trendy spots and indie music New York has to offer. It’s like director Peter Sollett got more interested in the surroundings and exposing the world to all these cool New York spots and cool music than the plot. So, it’s not surprising that Dennings and Cera’s scenes together are what keeps the film alive, nor is it surprising that there are several scene stealing performances. Jay Baruchel and Alexis Dziena are great in their roles as the title characters’ obnoxious exes. Both just make you want to slap the taste out of their mouths. And, there are some good cameos: John Cho, Seth Myers, Eddie Kay Thomas, and Kevin Corrigan. Though, the best cameo comes from Andy Samberg as a homeless guy who gets fresh with Nick. I also liked Nick’s gay bandmates, played by Aaron Yoo and Rafi Gavron, and Beefy Guy, Jonathan B. Wright. It’s nice to see some non-stereotypical gay characters. But, out of all the performance, Ari Graynor gives the best one as Norah’s drunk friend Caroline. She gives the best performance I’ve ever seen in my left. She doesn’t go overboard with it, playing like she may actually be drunk. And, she doesn’t get obnoxious. She’s still a little annoying but also sweet and vulnerable. She’s like your actual friend who gets drunk all the time: a bit of a burden but you help her (or him) out anyway because you can’t help but feel a little sorry for. She’s one of the main reasons to watch the film. In fact, all the performances are worthy of giving this film a view. The film can be too cute for its own good, but the performances make up for it.

The special features are also worth giving this DVD a view. These include commentary with director Peter Sollett, actors Michael Cera, Kat Dennings and Ari Graynor; commentary with Peter Sollett, authors Rachel Cohn and David Levithan, and screenwriter Lorene Scafaria; a digital copy of the film for playback on PSP™ and iTunes; deleted/alternate scenes: one featuring Caroline vomiting in a public restroom and a janitor refusing to clean it up, Caroline and Norah getting on a bus and Caroline vomiting on the driver, alternate takes of Tal trying to remember the name of Nick’s band, alternate takes of Caroline dressed as a Christmas tree, alternate takes of Nick running into some homeless people, Norah getting demos from people in clubs and on the street, Caroline doing a chant that annoys Norah, Nick mistaking a tranny for Tris, and Norah running into Jesus in the bathroom; outtakes; a music video for “Middle Management” by Bishop Allen, storyboard animations of the opening scene and the scene where Nick and Norah meet with optional filmmakers’ commentary; a Nick & Norah Puppet Show by Kat Dennings; Ari Graynor’s Video Diary: A Look Behind-the-Scenes; a faux interview with Michael Cera and Kat Dennings conducted by Eddie Kaye Thomas, and a photo gallery. The special features are cool. They’re not as boring as the typical ones you see on other DVDs. They’re fun, lighthearted, and show a more intimate look behind-the-scenes. All in all, this is an okay DVD. Nothing spectacular, but it is entertaining nonetheless.

Highlight: The Nick & Norah Puppet Show by Kat Dennings. A hilarious Cliffs Notes version of the film with a little more Stephen Colbert paranoia to it. (That means it involves those Godless killing machines that are hell-bent on stealing our pic-a-nic baskets and drinking our Coca-Cola.) Hell, I would say this is funnier than the movie.

Recommended, mainly for renting.

[Kermit The Hulk]

What time is it!? Well, I have [insert time review is posted]. Anyway, here’s a DVD review.



So, I…um…said that I had something big planned for August in the “Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist” DVD review. Well, August has come and gone; and I didn’t do a single DVD review. A funny thing happened: I got real lazy. And, I procrastinate a lot. And, I got obsessed with this website, The A.V. Club. Needless to say, I didn’t do it. What I had planned was a big review of the Batman Anthology DVD along with “Batman Begins” and “The Dark Knight”; my brother got it for his birthday, and since we live in the same house I had access to it. I planned on review each Batman movie in August and calling it Batman Month since there isn’t any holidays in August. Well, in America anyway. But, as I said: lazy, procrastinate, A.V. Club. I will do those reviews, probably in October, maybe earlier.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “What the hell does all of this have to do with WCW?” Not a goddamn thing. So, let’s move on to The Rise And Fall Of WCW. As I said in another DVD review, that one being the Starrcade DVD, I miss WCW. It was a good alternative to the WWF’s sports-entertainment. That means it had wrestling. In fact, it had some of the best wrestling on TV, especially during it’s 1996-1997 heyday. Hell, even when things were bad for the company, WCW had some damn good action in the ring. But, sadly, good wrestling couldn’t keep it from going the way of the dodo. The company went from making $55 million in 1997 to losing $62 million in 2000. Though, WCW had always seemed doomed from the start. It had been ran by guys who were over the hill and couldn’t adapt to booking for a new generation of wrestling fans and guys who didn’t know a damn thing about wrestling. Then, a savior came, turned everything around, and not only turned a profit but also nearly put the competition out of business. However, the savior’s booking style got stale; and he was replaced by a guy who booked storylines so mind-numbingly stupid and confusing that it drove fans away. Eventually, the money, ratings, and wrestlers disappeared; and new management came in and saw WCW as a huge failure and sold it to the very competition it nearly put out of business. How in hell could this happen? Well, The Rise And Fall Of WCW gives you all those answers…


















That have been approved by Vince McMahon. If you want all the honest answers to how WCW went belly up, then go buy a copy of the book The Death Of WCW. That will give you a detailed account of how WCW went from a wrestling company that could do no right to one that could do no wrong and then back to doing no right again. And, I’m not just saying that because I’m on the forum for the website of one of the co-authors of the book. It’s one of the reasons, but it’s not the whole reason. The other reason is that WWE is known for its revisionist history on its DVD. For proof, go watch the McMahon DVD or the Self-Destruction of The Ultimate Warrior DVD or the perfect companion to this DVD, The Monday Night War DVD, which details the battle between WCW and the WWF during the late 1990s and early 2000s. So, how revisionist is the documentary? Let’s take a look.

(By the way, before the documentary, there is a little preview of “The Marine 2” with Ted DiBiase, Jr. And, much like John Cena in “The Marine,” it appears Ted has more moves in this movie than he does in real life.)

The documentary starts off in the 1980s, when WCW wasn’t even a company. World Championship Wrestling was originally a TV show for Georgia Championship Wrestling. In fact, GCW is one of three promotions featured in the beginning of the documentary; the other two are Jim Crockett Promotions and Mid-Atlantic Wrestling, which are technically the same company. These three companies would basically become WCW. How? That’s a long story. In the early 1980s, there were three main wrestling companies: the NWA, the AWA, and the WWF. Now, the NWA, or National Wrestling Alliance was basically that, a conglomeration of smaller wrestling promotions, like GCW, WCCW, Mid-South Wrestling, Mid-Atlantic Wrestling/Jim Crockett Promotions, Championship Wrestling From Florida, St. Louis Wrestling Club, World Wrestling Association (Los Angeles), Pacific Northwest Wrestling, etc. They even had promotions in Canada, Japan, and Mexico. Hell, even the AWA and the WWF were once part of the NWA before breaking off on their own. All these promotions would be independent of each other, but each recognized one world champion: the NWA World Champion. He would go around each promotion and wrestle the top guys in each promotion for the title. And, there was a committee, NWA Board of Directors, comprised mostly of territory owners, who decided when the title changed hands via a vote. And, each time a guy got the belt, he had to put down a deposit of $25,000 on it to insure that he didn’t leave the NWA with the belt. The NWA ran smoothly until Vince McMahon began his expansion of the WWF in the 1980s. Eventually, things fell apart and promotions began breaking off from the NWA, like WCCW and Mid-South.

Anyway, in the Southeast coast of the America, Mid-Atlantic, Jim Crockett Promotions, and Georgia Championship Wrestling were the top territories. (Yes, I know Championship Wrestling From Florida was also there, but it isn’t mentioned in the documentary. So, I didn’t include it here.) Jim Crockett, Sr., a promoter of several sports and entertainment aspects from wrestling to boxing to circuses to the Harlem Globetrotters, started JCP in the 1930s, based in Charlotte, North Carolina. He later gave control of the promotion to his son, Jim Crockett, Jr.; and JCP became known as Mid-Atlantic. Mid-Atlantic ran shows in the Carolinas and Virginias and featured numerous talent, like Ric Flair, Dusty Rhodes, the Andersons, Tully Blanchard, Magnum T.A., etc. It eventually became a big promotion for the NWA, with Ric Flair as the NWA World Champion. JCP soon became so big that it launched the supershow Starrcade in 1983. As for Georgia Championship Wrestling, take a guess where it was located. It was formed by Paul Jones in the 1940s. In the 1970s, Jones was running GCW with Ray Gunkel, who would have gotten GCW after Jones retired. However, Gunkel died of a heart attack after a match with Ox Baker. His widow Ann seemed poise to take over the company, but she got the shaft in favor of Bill Watts, who planned to rename GCW “Mid-South Sports.” Ann decided to start her own promotion, All-South Wrestling. Thus, the Battle For Atlanta had begun. Ann won at first, with most of the GCW wrestlers following her and getting a TV spot on Ted Turner’s WTBS. Then, Jim Barnett came in, took over GCW, and pretty much drove Ann’s promotion into the ground. Barnett ran GCW with three other men, Jerry and Jack Brisco and Ole Anderson. They did well, mostly because they had a slot on WTBS, which became a cable company in the 1980s. Their slot on TBS went from regionally to nationally, making it a lucrative territory. There was talk of GCW changing its name to World Championship Wrestling and going national. But, that never happened.

Vince McMahon, who was also looking to expand nationally, decided to go south and take over GCW. He was able to get the Briscos to sell their share of the company for $900,000 and guaranteed jobs. In fact, Gerald Brisco still works for WWE today. Eventually, Barnett sold his share as well, due to his disappointment in Ole Anderson’s booking. The sell allowed Vince to get control of GCW and the TBS slots. On July 14, 1984, a day that will live in infamy for southern wrestling fans, Vince McMahon showed up on World Championship Wrestling to announce that he had bought the company. To say that people were upset would be an understatement. Not only did GCW personnel quit over protest of the sale, but fans were highly upset that a Northern wrestling had taken over their Georgia Championship Wrestling. It didn’t help that McMahon aired shows that had already aired on USA (Yes, McMahon already had a show on another cable channel) and promoted shows in Boston and New York. Basically, it didn’t work because Vince showed wrestling that while got over in New York didn’t get over in Atlanta. Of course, Vince says that it was mainly Ted’s fault. Not entirely true. Part of the GCW deal was that Vince had to do World Championship Wrestling show live in Atlanta. Vince didn’t. So, Ted started airing Bill Watts’s Mid-South on Sunday nights. Eventually, Vince went to Jim Burnett, who told him to go to Jim Crockett, who offered to buy the TBS slot for a million dollars. Vince agreed, and JCP got on TBS. As for Vince, he took the money he got into helping promote WrestleMania. The whole Black Saturday deal isn’t really explained well. It’s like they’re trying to cloud and make it seem like Vince got screwed out of the deal. But, really, it seems like everyone lucked out. Vince made some money. Crockett got a TV deal. Ted got the wrestling show he wanted. And, the GCW owners got jobs. Nevertheless, the war between the WWF and WCW had begun.

After Black Saturday, the documentary goes into JCP’s national expansion. They began promoting shows in Chicago and Baltimore and Magnum T.A. became popular. However, a car accident put an end to his career. That was just the beginning of the end for JCP. Crockett began spending more money that he was making. He flew guys all over the country in private planes. He went into territories where JCP wasn’t well known, which also alienated the loyal fans in the Carolinas and Virginias. They were making money but not enough to keep up with all the spending. Eventually, Crockett went into debt. And, everyone and their mother shows up on the doc to say that if Crockett had stayed in the Mid-Atlantic territory and expanded slowly, he would still be in business and rich. But, if wishes were horses, they’d all have stables. Surprisingly, they don’t mention the Starrcade/Survivor Series incident, in which Crockett and McMahon were both going to air a PPV on Thanksgiving day 1987. McMahon didn’t like this and decided to force the PPV companies to pick one PPV, Starrcade or Survivor Series to air. Crockett came up with a plan that should have made everyone happy: air Starrcade before Survivor Series. The PPV companies like it, thinking that people would just watch wrestling all day. However, Vince put his foot down and said that the PPV companies had to chose, and if they didn’t chose him, they wouldn’t get WrestleMania IV. Sure enough, most of the PPV companies backed McMahon. That is such a glaring omission, but it’s not hard to see why it was omitted.

Anyway, Crockett had to sell the company. And, he did to Ted Turner, who wanted to keep wrestling on TBS since it had been on the station since it’s local days. And, that is how WCW officially became a company. Ted had a hands off approach to WCW. He basically let other people run it. Unfortunately, those other people were old promoters who hadn’t caught up with the times (Bill Watts and Ole Anderson) and businessmen who knew nothing about wrestling (Jack Petrie, Kip Frey, and Jim Herd, who had previously ran Pizza Hut). Though, WCW did have a lot of great talent at the time: The Road Warriors, the Steiner Brothers, Sting, Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Mike Rotunda, Barry Windham, Dusty Rhodes, Doom, the Rock ‘N’ Roll Express, the Midnight Express, Vader, etc. And, that talent was listed for us by Kevin Sullivan! Never thought I’d see him on a WWE DVD. Well, in a documentary anyway. Anyway, the talent and quality of matches was a pretty good reason to watch WCW in the late 1980s and early 1990s. That was the time when Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat had a series of 5 star classics.

But, the management was terrible. It was basically a revolving door of bookers at WCW, which led to confused wrestlers having to adjust to different plans over and over. Jim Herd’s time is featured, complete with clips of the Ding Dongs. Then, they mention Ole Anderson’s run, which was a disaster because of his stubbornness and his old ways. Hell, Michael Hayes calls him an asshole; and Teddy Long calls him “the worst booker in the history of America!” Kip Frey came in for a cup a coffee. He’s only mentioned by name by Dusty Rhodes. Though, I don’t know why they didn’t go into more detail with him. Probably to show that WCW was always run by idiots, because he actually had some good ideas: (from The Death Of WCW book) reward the wrestlers with a bonus system that gave the wrestlers who performed the best match on a PPV $5,000. He also gave out raises. This motivated guys to work hard, which motivated fans to watch and buy the product, which would in turn make everyone rich. However, Frey suddenly quit. Then, they mention Dusty Rhodes and basically build him up as one of the greatest bookers of all times whose ideas were cut down by idiots who didn’t know how to run wrestling. Then, Bill Watts came in. Watts ran the successful Mid-South territory based in Shreveport, Louisiana. However, he was very old school. At first, the documentary builds Watts up well, but they quickly turn on him, which is funny since he is on the documentary. Hayes said that he was happy that Watts came in at first, but that soon changed. Watts wanted to “legitimize” WCW, and he did that by getting rid of the mats on the concrete floor and banning top rope moves. He also did things to cut costs, like fining wrestlers and trying to bust their contracts. Needless to say, this upset the wrestlers. There is also a clip of Eric Watts, Bill’s bean pole of a son. Though, they didn’t mention that he pushed his green son to the moon. They also didn’t mention some racial remarks that got him into hot water with the Turner Corporation. He had done an interview with Pro Wrestling Torch in which he said that he believed that restaurant owners could refuse service to black people if they wanted. This got him into trouble with Hank Aaron, who was the most famous black person on the Turner payroll. It didn’t help that he had plans for a tag team called The Posse, two black men dressed as criminals being led by a rich white Southerner. (By the way, this team eventually became Harlem Heat.) Anyway, Watts eventually got fed up and quit.

Next came Bill Shaw, who was smart enough to know that he wasn’t equipped to run the wrestling aspect of the business. And, he did: Eric Bischoff. Bischoff had been an announcer in the AWA. When that went belly up, he went to the WWF but didn’t get a job. He then went to WCW. At the time, it appeared that either Tony Schiavone or Jim Ross would end up with the job that eventually went to Bischoff. Of course, that didn’t happen. Despite not getting the job, Schiavone stayed with WCW. Jim Ross, however, quit and went over to the WWF, where he’s still employed. Bischoff had some good ideas. He began filming WCW shows at Disney MGM studios. These shows were taped in advanced with audiences made up of casual fans whom Bischoff could control, i.e. basically tell them who to cheer for and who to boo. Bischoff also brought in Hulk Hogan. In fact, Bischoff brought in a lot of old WWF guys, like Randy Savage, John Tenta, Ed Leslie, Gene Okerlund, Bobby Heenan, and pretty much anyone who was friends with Hulk Hogan. This was big for WCW, and they were able to deliver the match that WWF had failed to do in 1992: Ric Flair VS Hulk Hogan for a World Title. WWF could have had Hogan and Flair, who had joined the WWF in 1991 because of a dispute with Jim Herd (which isn’t mention for some reason; it seemed like a good example to show how inept WCW was) for the WWF Title at WrestleMania VIII, but they changed their minds for some reason. WCW immediately jumped at a Flair/Hogan World Title match, having them wrestle for the WCW World Title at Bash Of The Beach 1994. Things went well at the time. The influx of WWF guys made WCW seem fresh and new, which brought up money and ratings. However, Hogan began turning WCW into his own WWF. WCW fans didn’t want to see WWF, and the money and ratings went down.

Then came Nitro. Bischoff had a meeting with Turner and asked for two hours of primetime TV, live. He figured that they wouldn’t get it, but Turner in fact gave WCW two hours on TNT. The first Nitro was a big coup for WCW, especially since they were able to bring in Lex Luger. Luger had worked for WCW, but at the time, he was with the WWF. His contract came up around the time Nitro was premiering. He went to Bischoff for an offer. Of course, Bischoff jumped at the chance to bring in a WWF and show to the fans that anything could happen on Nitro. He also began giving away the results of WWF Monday Night RAW. You see, WWF had debuted RAW two years earlier and said that it was live. This was partially true. At times, RAW would be live, but there would also be taped shows. Bischoff took advantage by airing Nitro live all the time and giving away the results of taped RAWs, giving the fans no reason to change the channel. McMahon was pissed. Ironically, he had become an old wrestling promoter who being challenged by an up and comer, much he had been to all those other territory promoters in the 1980s. He also drew away from the cartoonish storyline and gimmicks of the WWF. He had guys use their real names, like Scott Hall and Kevin Nash.

SPEAKING OF Scott Hall and Kevin Nash, next comes the nWo. They show the infamous debut of Scott Hall, who shows up on the documentary!!!!…in a pre-taped clip from 2002, who showed up during a Mike Enos and Steve Doll match and challenged WCW to war!!!! This was a revolutionary debut. Before, wrestlers debut with some fanfare and hype. Usually, vignettes would air on TV that would tell the audience that a new wrestler was coming. This was different. Hall just showed up in the audience. You could barely see him; WWE had to highlight were he was in the audience during the clip of his debut. And, he didn’t just challenge one wrestler. No, no, no! He challenged the whole company! Then, when Kevin Nash showed, it looked like the WWF was invading WCW! Vince was pissed, suing for copyright infringement; Nash and Hall had been acting like their WWF characters Diesel and Razor Ramon respectively. Vince even so far as to put new guys in those characters, giving us Fake Diesel and Fake Razor Ramon. At least, Fake Diesel became Kane. Nevertheless, WWF’s answer to WCW’s invasion angle was like Bambi VS Godzilla, with WCW’s Godzilla just squashing WWF’s Bambi.

But, the invasion angle was just getting started. Hall and Nash began saying they had a third man in the back and challenged three WCW guys to a match at Bash At The Beach. Sting, Lex Luger, and “Macho Man” Randy Savage answered the challenge. During the match, Nash and Hall’s partner didn’t show; and Luger got taken out early on in the match, making it a tag team match. As the match was coming to an end, Hulk Hogan, who is on the doc in pre-taped clips, came out to assumingly lean clean house and save WCW. Instead, he dropped his leg onto Savage over and over again. The most famous wrestler in the business had just turned heel. Hulk Hogan was dead. Long live Hollywood Hogan. This shocked wrestling fans (myself included), even bringing back casual who had stopped watching wrestling at the time. The nWo was born, and WCW had the hottest angle in the wrestling world. The ratings went up, and the nWo became the most talked about thing in wrestling. They did a series of vignettes that were poorly shot in black and white and Batman-like angles. The idea was to make the nWo appear to be a separate company, which was Bischoff’s plan: have WCW be two shows: WCW Nitro and an nWo, much like what WWE has now with RAW and SmackDown!. He wanted the WWF to be the number 3 wrestling company in America! It was a bold plan that ultimately didn’t work. To do so, Bischoff had to put more guys in the nWo. However, more people in a stable devalues its prestige. It started off small: Hogan, Nash, and Hall were soon joined by the Giant (Paul Wight, aka the Big Show), Syxx-Pac (former WWF wrestler Sean Waltman), Ted DiBiase, and Bischoff himself. Then, it blew up to hold guys like Scott Norton, Buff Bagwell, Vincent, and others. Sure, there were a few good additions, like Curt Hennig and Rick Rude. But, there were also some clunkers, like a past his prime heel Dusty Rhodes. They also had an nWo PPV, which did poorly, and an nWo Nitro, which was also a bad show.

However, the nWo did good business. They sold merchandise like hotcakes. Bischoff had also some good ideas besides the nWo. For one, he brought in a lot of talent. He struck a deal with New Japan Pro Wrestling to bring in wrestlers from that company to WCW. He also snatched up guys from ECW and Mexico. Basically, he brought all the good talent in the world: Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Ultimo Dragon, Jushin “Thunder” Liger, Konnan, Juventud Guerrera, Psychosis, Raven, etc. And, they wrestler fantastic matches. The plan was simple: have an awesome undercard with great matches and main event the show with the big nWo angle. Sure, the main event matches weren’t as great as the undercard, but the drama made up for it. Hell, the main eventers knew it. Bill Goldberg appeared on the doc and praised WCW’s Cruiserweight division. SPEAKING OF Goldberg, his chapter comes up after the Cruiserweight one. Now, Goldberg was a big find for WCW. And, they booked him perfectly…at first. It was very simple: Goldberg never lost. That was it. He won one match and then another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another. Eventually, he got up to 170 wins and 0 losses.

They also mention the WCW Power Plant in Goldberg’s chapter. The Power Plant was where WCW trained new guys, like Goldberg. They also show Goldberg’s first win. Goldberg soon took off because he kept winning. And, he never spoke. And, he was surrounded by security…to protect other people from him. And, he came out with a storm of sparks. He was a tough guy who really looked like he could do some damage. He soon became the company’s biggest star. And, WCW was doing well. The ratings were up. Merchandise sold well. Events sold out. PPVs got big buys. They had a wide variety of things wrestling fans wanted to see: good wrestling, the Nitro Girls, the nWo VS WCW, etc. If you wanted to see something to good, you had to watch WCW Nitro. And, people did. Nitro beat RAW in the ratings from June 10, 1996 until April 13, 1998, when RAW finally won out after nearly two years of ratings defeat.

Next comes the celebrities. Diamond Dallas Page shows up (in pre-taped clips) meeting Karl Malone and getting him to come to WCW. They also mention Dennis Rodman joining the nWo. This led to DDP and Malone VS Hulk Hogan and Rodman at Bash At The Beach 1998. The match was a disaster, but it gave WCW a lot of publicity from news and sports outlets. This then led to Jay Leno getting into the ring. Another disaster in the ring, this time taking place at a disaster of an event: Hog Wild, or Road Wild as it became known after Harley Davidson sued them for use of “Hog.” The event was a money pit: a PPV filmed at the Sturgis Bike Rally that drew no money at the gate. However, Goldberg thought Road Wild was a good idea, saying so on the documentary. But, of course, he would; Goldberg’s a huge motorcycle enthusiast. You know who else is? Eric Bischoff, which is why he held the show from 1996 to 1999. Road Wild wasn’t the only problems with WCW. They created Thunder, which overexposed the product, and not just in WCW. Thunder led to Vince introducing SmackDown!, which overexposed the WWF. He also had one of the hottest matches of the 1990s, Bill Goldberg VS Hollywood Hogan for the WCW World Title, for free on Nitro. If they had done it on a PPV, it would have made WCW a lot of money. But, Bischoff only cared about beating the WWF in the ratings.

Also, the product had gotten stale. Hogan, Nash, Hall, Sting, Flair, and others stayed on top while guys like Jericho, Mysterio, Malenko, Benoit, Guerrero, Raven, and others stayed on the undercard. Bischoff wasn’t making new stars. The only guys who had elevated to the main event at the time were DDP, who was buddies with Bischoff but did work his ass off to become good in the ring, and Goldberg. Bischoff kept relying on the old ones, some of who were in the 50s. He also brought in The Ultimate Warrior, who had some whopper of ideas. Basically, he made himself to be Batman and scared the hell out of Hollywood Hogan with mirror tricks and smoke filling the ring. They had a match at Halloween Havoc 1998 that horrible. SPEAKING OF Halloween Havoc, the PPV ran long, 15 minutes over when it was suppose to end. This caused a problem as the feed cut off right at the beginning of Diamond Dallas Page VS Goldberg for the WCW Title. Fans were upset! However, WCW made it up to them by airing DDP VS Goldberg for free on Nitro and gave out refunds.

Things were starting to fall apart. To make matters worse, Kevin Nash began booking the show. Nash used this to put himself over. There was a rehashing of the nWo VS WCW storyline, this time with the nWo fighting among themselves. Nash led the black and red nWo Wolfpack, which had Konnan, Randy Savage, Lex Luger, and Sting (both of whom had been fighting the nWo for over a year and now had suddenly joined forces with some of their enemies). Hogan led the nWo Hollywood, which had all the same nWo guys. Nash also decided that he would be the one who ended Goldberg’s streak. This was a bad idea as the fans were not tired of the streak. Then came the Fingerpoke of Doom. Nash was suppose to wrestle Goldberg in a rematch. But, Goldberg had been arrested for stalking Miss Elizabeth. So, Hogan was put in Goldberg’s place. The match was just Hogan poking Nash in the chest, Nash falling down, and Hogan pinning him. Goldberg then showed up and was promptly beaten up by the re-united nWo. Also, this was the infamous night in which Tony Schiavone reveled that Mankind would beat The Rock for the WWF Title on RAW. After he said the infamous quote “That’ll put butts in the seat,” fans quickly turned over to USA to watch Mankind beat The Rock for the WWF Title, which the documentary surprisingly doesn’t mention (it is mentioned in the special features). WWF rewarded its fans with a surprise title win by a guy who had worked hard in the business and finally achieve the pinnacle of it by winning a World Title. WCW “rewarded” its fans with two egos getting themselves over at the expense of a guy the fans really wanted to see holding a World Title.

It was crap like this that pissed off a lot of guys in WCW. One was Paul Wight. He promptly quit and went to the WWF. He’s still there as the Big Show. Another guy who left WCW for the WWF and is still with the company is Chris Jericho. Soon, other guys abandoned ship. Raven left WCW for his old stomping grounds of ECW. And of course, there was the Radicals: Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, and Perry Saturn. They were four of WCW’s best wrestlers, but they had been held down for so long that they got fed up and threatened to leave. WCW tried to keep them by promising Benoit the WCW Title, which he even won from Sid Vicious at Souled Out 2000. However, Benoit saw right through their ploy and left, with Guerrero, Malenko, and Saturn. The four showed up on RAW in the front row. Of course, for obvious reasons, they don’t mention Benoit’s departure from WCW. One of the things that WCW had going for them was its wrestlers. Sure, the storylines could be bad, but at least you would be able to see some great wrestling. But, the good wrestlers were leaving. WCW was loosing the one thing that made it watchable. And, things were just getting less and less watchable.

Next came the reason things were getting less and less watchable: Vince Russo. He was guy who had worked for the WWF at its magazine. He wrote some fantasy storylines that impressed McMahon so much that he put him on the creative team. Eventually, Russo became the top booker, answering only to McMahon. Russo’s idea was to make the WWF more adult oriented. Stone Cold Steve Austin would cuss up a storm and flip everyone the bird. Sable would take off her clothes until some came out to stop her before she got naked, which she did in Playboy. The Rock threw the British Bulldog into dog crap. D-X got girls to show their breasts. The WWF was presenting shock TV, and you had to tune in to see what would happen next. Sure enough, people did tune in. And, they stayed because Austin, Undertaker, The Rock, Mankind, and others were putting on exciting main event matches. Basically, the WWF was winning, and Russo was a big part of that. However, he hated living in the WWF’s headquarters, Stamford, Connecticut. He wanted to move and some time off to spend with his family. McMahon flippantly told him to hire a nanny. Russo was upset and left, taking Ed Ferrara with him. They went to WCW. However, we soon learned that Russo is only good when he has an editor. With McMahon editing his storylines, Russo brought the WWF back on top. Without an editor, his ideas went out unfiltered; and WCW suffered for it.

Of course, they don’t mention why Russo left the WWF. They just showed him showing up. But, they were sure to mention that Russo is only good with an editor, like Vince McMahon. They showed a lot of his bad ideas, like “Last Call” Scott Hall and the West Texas Rednecks, which is funny because I could have sworn those were done before Russo showed up. It’s a good thing WWE made this documentary, or else I would have gone on believing that misnomer. Thanks, Vince McMahon!!!![/sarcasm] Though, they do correctly attribute the Piñata On A Pole Match, Oklahoma, Tank Abbot, and Russo himself wrestling to him. They also mention the lowest rated WCW segment ever: a KISS that also gave the world The KISS Demon. And, of course they show Russo’s worst idea ever: David Arquette winning the WCW World Title. I also wanna point out a nice shot of the WCW Nitro pyro being shown in reverse when Jericho says that things were collapsing. That was a cool image.

They also show Hulk Hogan VS Jeff Jarrett at Bash At The Beach 2000. Here was another disaster. What happened was that Jarrett laid down for Hogan, who begrudgingly pinned him with his foot. Then, Russo threw Hogan the belt. Hogan took the mic and said “That’s why the company is in the damn shape is—because of bulls*** like this!” He was right, thought Hogan was largely responsible for that bulls***. Anyway, the idea, which had been thought up by Hogan, Bischoff, and Russo, was to have Hogan win the belt like this and then leave. Then, Hogan would return later and challenge whoever was the WCW Champion at the time, saying that he was the rightful champion because he had a belt as well. The whole thing was suppose to be a worked shoot, revolving around the old guys in WCW (Hogan and the Millionaire’s Club) taking on Bischoff, Russo, and the new talent (the New Blood). However, Russo’s shoot legitimately upset Hogan, probably because Russo had called Hogan a “bald son of a bitch.” And, that is one thing you do not do: Call Hogan bald! Seriously! Think about it! Of all the people who feuded with Hogan, not a single one took a shot at his receding hairline. Hogan was upset and actually sued Russo and WCW, with the lawsuit going on long after WCW had folded. There’s also some Jeff Jarrett bashing. Mike Graham basically said that Jarrett “broke 6,000 guitars—never drew a dime,” and said that he had an ego.

Things were getting worse. And then came the AOL/Time Warner merger. This basically pushed Ted Turner out of his own company. He wasn’t in a position to help WCW. This led to Jaime Kellner taking over Turner Broadcasting. He was an outsider, a guy who had worked at making FOX and the WB into networks. Basically, he didn’t see wrestling as cyclical business; he saw it as a TV show that should be cancelled when the ratings are down. It’s not hard to blame him for that: he was an outsider and saw that WCW was not making any money and had lost a lot of ratings. So, he cancelled it. And, AOL/Time Warner sold it. Bischoff tried to buy it by getting investors. But, once Nitro and Thunder got cancelled, the investors left. And, McMahon swept in and bought it. On the last Nitro, Shane McMahon showed up as the storyline owner, beginning the InVasion storyline; and the less said about it, the better. Then, we come to the end, with people talking about WCW’s legacy. They basically say the same thing: WCW gave the WWF competition, and competition is good for the business. The funniest thing on this chapter is Vince McMahon saying that he took pride in buying WCW. BULLs***!!!! YOU KNOW HE WAS ELLATED!!!! YOU KNOW IT!!!! Sure, he probably upset now because he got rid of all his competition, and there’s no place for talent to ply their craft, built up, and get good so that he came bring them into WWE! (And, I know he has FCW, but it’s just not the same!) He’s probably upset NOW, but you know that he was happy as hell back in 2001.

The documentary is okay. There is a lot of revisionist history. They don’t mention the built to Starrcade 1997. They don’t talk about how Russo turned things around for the WWF before screwing up in WCW. They don’t show a lot of the stupid characters and angles from the early 1990s. They don’t really show a linear timeline, mixing things up and attributing some ideas to people who didn’t come up with them. And, it’s not that long. The Rise And Fall Of ECW got three hours, yet WCW only gets two. Why? Well, I have an idea why, but still. Nevertheless, it is a good DVD. They got guys I never thought would talk to WWE or ever see on a WWE DVD, like Sullivan, Goldberg, Watts, the Crocketts, and Dr. Harvey Schiller. And, they do make us of their archives by showing old clips of Bischoff, Scott Hall, Booker T, and Hulk Hogan. And, it is pretty accurate about why WCW is no more: not elevating the younger talent and building stars, keeping the old guys around too long, putting the wrong people in charge, emphasis on ratings over PPV buys, bad ideas, bad gimmicks, giving the title to people don’t deserve, etc. It is nice Cliff’s Notes version of the history of WCW, but if you want something more accurate, then go read The Death Of WCW.

Now, for the special features. On Disc 1, we get Lost In Cleveland, Dusty Rhodes telling the story of how this stupid angle in which Cactus Jack got amnesia and thought he was a sailor living with homeless people (Basically, Bill Watts hated Cactus Jack and Dusty thought this would be a good way to humanize him. Don’t ask me how. That’s what he says.); Bill Watts defending his mistakes and racial remarks by mentioning all the black wrestlers who pushed; Spam Man, which has Dr. Harvey Schiller talking about a character they were going to create to promote with Hormel Spam; yes, they were going to create a wrestler who either wore Spam or liked Spam (By the way, it got killed because Hormel didn’t want to do it because they saw wrestling viewers as lower on the social totem pole than people who buy Spam!!!!); the Origin Of Goldberg, which basically has Goldberg talking about how the character came to be: he wanted to be called The Hybrid because he didn’t thing “Goldberg” was intimidating or marketable (well, he’s right; “Goldberg” didn’t became a profitable name to fear until he came along), the spear was created in a match with Manny Fernandez (he was told to do an impactful move, and since he was a football player, a simple tackle at top speed was easy to do and look destructive enough to take out a brick wall), the Jackhammer (which was originally Malenko’s move that he did off the top rope, and Goldberg just did in the middle of the ring), his look (he shaved his head because he got hot playing football and the tattoo was created by a tattoo artist), “Who’s next!?” (which Goldberg got from a waitress); and Bischoff giving away the results of RAW (which has clips of McMahon condemning what Bischoff did and Bischoff defending it; also this is the special feature that mention’s Foley’s infamous WWF Title win).

However, the real treat are the matches. Seriously, the documentary is good, but not their best. The special features are cool, but aren’t really a enough. They could have filled a whole disc of memorable WCW moments, like Hogan’s heel turn, Scott Hall’s first appearance, anything with the Four Horsemen, etc. Though, a lot of those are on other DVDs, so I can forgive. But, it is the matches that are the real reason to buy this DVD. It has a lot of classic matches, like Ric Flair VS Ricky Steamboat for the NWA World Title at Chi-Town Rumble, the Steiner Brothers VS Sting and Lex Luger for the WCW Tag Team Titles at SuperBrawl, Sting VS Vader for the WCW Title at The Great American Bash 1992, Flair VS Hulk Hogan for the WCW Title at Bash At The Beach 1994, a War Games Match between Team WCW (Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Lex Luger, and Sting) VS the nWo (Hollywood Hogan, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and “Sting”), and Goldberg VS Diamond Dallas Page for the WCW Title at Halloween Havoc 1998. It also has some great cruiserweight matches, like Rey Mysterio VS Dean Malenko for the WCW Cruiserweight Title at Clash Of The Champions XXXIII, Syxx-Pac VS Eddie Guerrero in a Ladder Match for the United States Title at Souled Out, Guerrero VS Malenko in a No DQ Match for the U.S. Title at Uncensored 1997, and Chris Jericho VS Juventud Guerrera in a Mask Match at SuperBrawl VIII. There are also some rare gems, like Ric Flair VS Magnum T.A., Sting Lex Luger, and Barry Windham VS The Four Horsemen (Flair, Arn Anderson, and Tully Blanchard), The Rock ‘N’ Express VS The Midnight Express at Wrestler War (I wish they had gone with a match between these two teams during the 1980s), Rick Rude VS Sting for the WCW International Title at Spring Stampede 1994, and Booker T VS Lance Storm for the WCW Title on an episode of Nitro. They also have that DDP and Karl Malone VS Hogan and Dennis Rodman match for some reason. At least it wasn’t the match with Jay Leno. There are some matches I wish had been on this DVD, like the match where Hogan turned heel or a Barry Windham/Ric Flair encounter or a Rick Rude/Steamboat match or a Jung Dragons/Three Count match (as bad as things were in 2000, those two stables delivered top notch matches). That’s the thing about WCW: they had so many great matches.

All in all, this is a great DVD to pick up. As I said in the Starrcade DVD review, I miss WCW. I missed a lot of it. I did watch it a bit in the early 1990s and watched a lot of the heyday of the nWo VS WCW era. But, when the Attitude Era started, my WWF loyalty made me turn back. I was watching RAW more and Nitro less, and then Benoit, Guerrero, Malenko, and Saturn came to the WWF. So, I just gave up on WCW because they were the only reason for me to even bother to change the channel. I really regret not seeing as much of WCW as I could have. I mean, I know I said it countless times, but I don’t care; it bears repeating: they were pretty much second to none when it came to in-ring product. I mean, you had the Cruiserweight Division, Ric Flair in his prime, the Four Horsemen running roughshod all over the company, the WarGames match, early 1990s Sting, the nWo, monster heel Vader. Yeah, WCW was responsible for a lot of crap, but there was a lot of good to negate the bad. At least, we have the DVDs. Sure, it’s WWE’s version of WCW; but it’s better than no WCW at all.

Highlight: Spam Man! I can’t believe! Not only did they think that a wrestler named Spam Man was a good idea, but also Hormel believes that wrestling fans are not the type of people cultured enough to eat Spam! MY GOD!!!! It also makes you think that if that horrible idea didn’t make it to TV, then we just saw the tip of the iceberg of bad ideas WCW came up with!

Recommended.

[Kermit The Hulk]

DVD Review Time!!!!



Revolutionary Road

Ah, Netflix! It’s a wonderful invention! I mean, you can just go online and make a list of movies you wanna see, and they’ll send those movies to you! What an ingenious idea! All I have to say is, Thank you, Reed Hastings! Thank you very much!

Now, what does this have to do with Revolutionary Road? I’m sure you’re thinking that I rented it off my Netflix queue. Well, you’re wrong! WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!! For your information, you big fat failure turtles, my mother rented it off of her Netflix queue. (Yes, I live with my parents. The economy’s been hell on college graduates, dammit!) Now, I have been interested in seeing this movie ever since I saw the ads for it. However, I wasn’t so interested that I would go out to see it in theaters. Nor was I so interested that I would actually rent it. However, I figured that if this movie was to somehow come into my house or if I ever saw it on TV while channel surfing, then I would sit down and watch it. In fact, I even decided to do a review of it. Why? Because, I was interested in seeing if I was right. Every single ad for the movie pretty much had Leonardo DiCapprio and Kate Winslet yelling at each other like a drunk redneck couple featured on an episode of Cops. Just from these 30 seconds to 2 minute previews I figured the movie was just two hours of Jack and Rose yelling at each other! By the way, I half expected this exchange of words to take place:

Kate: You never draw me naked anymore!

Leo: Well, if hadn’t gotten so fat!!!!

Kate: You son of a bitch! I should have stayed with Billy Zane!

Leo: I wish I had frozen to death in that water. By the way, thanks for sharing the door with me!!!!

Kate: This is why I’ve kept that blue diamond hidden from you.

Leo: I KNEW IT!!!!

The movie stars Leo and Kate as Frank and April Wheeler, a couple of suburbanites living in 1955 New York. The film opens with them meeting at a party, and then we’re whisked away to them married and moving to Revolutionary Road in one of New York City's wealthy Connecticut suburbs. April is dissatisfied with her life as a suburban housewife, wishing she was an actress; and Frank despises his marketing job at Knox Business Machines, where his late father worked for 20 years in a similar position. The Wheelers feel they are unique and special, but trapped in the conformity of life in the suburbs, where they moved while April was pregnant with their first of two children. Of course, they’re not happy. They yell. They fight. April wants to move to Paris. Frank says no but eventually relents. More fighting ensues. Frank sleeps with other women. They are visited by John Givings (Michael Shannon), the son of their friend/realtor Helen (Kathy Bates), (a former mathematician who is now under psychiatric care in a mental institution), who tells them what wrong with their lives and why they’re unhappy. April gets pregnant again and wants an abortion. Frank says no. The move to Paris gets postponed. April has sex with neighbor Shep Campbell (David Harbour). More fighting and unhappiness ensues.

The reason I’ve been wanting to see this movie for one reason: was I right? As I said, I judge the movie solely by its ads, and that judgment was that it was nothing but 2 hours of the couple from Titanic arguing. To me, it just looked like a big juicy worm on a hook, waiting for all those critics and Oscar voters to bite. But, you should never judge a book by its covers, or in this case, a movie by its ads. I could have been wrong about this movie. Maybe it’s more than just Oscar bait. Maybe there is some aesthetic value to it other than seeing two actor do their damnedest to win a little gold man.

So, was I wrong?

No. No, I wasn’t. I couldn’t have been more right.

Sure enough, 10 minutes into the movie, Kate and Leo are yelling at each other. It was everything I thought it would be and more! My God are these people miserable! And, how do I know this!? Well, they tell me! Half the dialogue is explanations about how miserable the speaker is. Hell, they beat you on the head with a miserable stick. Subtlety is obviously not a word in the screenwriter’s vocabulary. Yeah, I insulted Justin Haythe! What are you gonna do about it!? (FYI: the movie is based on the book Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates. Now, I have not read the book, but it is well loved, making it on Time’s 100 Best Novels list and getting praise from such writers like Kurt Vonnegut and Tennessee Williams. I imagine that the book is better than the movie, mainly for Yates’s writing).

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that this is a bad movie. There are a lot of good parts. Kate and Leo give good performances. In fact, Kate should have gotten that Best Actress Oscar for this movie instead of “The Reader.” Also, Michael Shannon is amazing in his role. He goes from over the top to down played very well. If he hadn’t had been nominated the same year as Heath Ledger, then I suspect that Shannon might have won that Oscar that went to The Joker. David Harbour and Kathryn Hahn are good as the Wheelers’ neighbors, the Campbells. There is a scene where they learn that the Wheelers are moving to Paris, and they both have this great expression of faux-happiness on their faces; Harbour and Hahn pull this off very well. I also enjoyed Dylan Baker’s performance as Frank’s co-worker Jack Ordway. He tries to come off as sophisticated, but he does it by using this ridiculous English accent, which makes no sense since the movie takes place in New York. His whole performance comes off as a little over the top, but Baker somehow makes it entertaining. Also, it looks amazing. They really captured the look and feel of the 1950s. It really is a time capsule of the Eisenhower Era. It’s also nicely directed. Sam Mendes does a good job. I especially liked the scene where the Wheelers and Campbells go out dancing, and after Frank takes Milly home because she got sick, April and Shep get to talking and decide to dance and later smork in a car. There is the nice, crisp focus on April. It’s the closest the film comes to subtlety. Also, I’m glad Mendes cut out 18 scenes from the film. Just limiting this movie to 2 hours was a good decision. After a while, all the fighting gets to be too much, and we don’t need another half hour of it.

However, I just have this huge problem: subtlety. As I watched this move, I was reminded of my creative writing teacher in college. He had a great rule when it came to writing: show, don’t tell. Unfortunately, this movie tells and doesn’t show. Frank and April tell everyone about how unhappy they are. April even unleashes it on her kids. In fact, she actually says that if Frank doesn’t stop yelling that she’s gonna scream. He doesn’t, and sure enough, she screams! It’s like he read the screenplay direction out loud. There’s so much telling going that on that I watched this movie with my eyes rolling every 5 seconds as I thought to myself, “No, tell us how you really feel!” as sarcastically as I could. Now, my creative writing teacher wasn’t the only thing this movie reminded me of. I also thought of the AMC TV show Mad Men as I watched it. There are a lot of similarities between this movie and that show: both take place around the same era (Road in the Eisenhower Era, and Mad Men in the Kennedy Era that followed), both feature men with marketing jobs who sleep around a lot and have dysfunctional marriages, and both feature women unhappy with their lives in suburbia. Yet, Mad Men is a 1000 times better than “Revolutionary Road.” Why? Because, it shows and doesn’t tell. Don Draper doesn’t yell at Betty about how he hates his life, and Betty doesn’t yell the same thing back. They don’t need to. You can see it on their faces and hear in the way they talk. When it comes to writing, Mad Men takes that miserable stick “Revolutionary Road” bangs over the audiences heads and soundly beats it over its head.

Yet, amazingly, I found “Revolutionary Road” a lot more entertaining than Mad Men. I may get a lot of flack for this, but there are times when I find Mad Men to be boring. I mean, put me to sleep because it’s a cure for insomnia boring. As for “Revolutionary Road,” it’s so over the top with its presentation of miserable suburbanites that I can’t help but laugh at it. Kate and Leo’s arguments made me laugh, even though that clearly not what the filmmakers were going for. But, I couldn’t help it. I just found them to be so ridiculous. And, I enjoyed the hell out of Michael Shannon. Again, his performance is filled with unintentional hilarity. I’d rather see Shannon yelling at people and telling them why they’re so unhappy every week than Don Draper feeling melancholy. But, I’ll take Mad Men, mainly for Christina Hendricks:



*sighs* I could watch that all day.

The special features include commentary from director Sam Mendes and screenwriter Justin Haythe, a making of featurette entitled “Lives Of Quiet Desperation,” and some of the deleted scenes. The making of featurette is pretty standard. Though, it is shot better than most. And, I did learn a lot about the film from it. For one, I have a little more appreciation for Mendes’s direction from it. The film was shot on location: all of the Wheeler house interiors were shot in an actual house in Darien, Connecticut, the office scenes in an abandoned office in downtown New York, etc. Now, this is very difficult because there isn’t as much room as there would be in a studio. In fact, he had to use a lot of white sheets to reflect light from windows because there wasn’t enough room for lights. Nevertheless, it was a smart idea as it helped capture the claustrophobic dynamic between Kate and Leo. He also focused on all the flaws and wrinkles in the face of the actors to make the film seem more realistic. I don’t know how I missed this as I was watching. I guess I was just too focused on the performances. As for the deleted scenes, not all of them are on here. I as said earlier, 18 scenes were cut; but the DVD only has 5. One scene has Frank waking up to April mowing the lawn the day after they had a fight while driving home from a play April was in; by the way, she apparently didn’t give a good performance. Another has the Wheelers at the Campbells’ house sharing drinks and talking about the play and Frank telling a story about when he was in the War (WW2) and everyone in the First Division sang “Happy Birthday” to him. Another scene shows Frank riding the train to work and having a flashback to his childhood and riding on the train with his father to his work, with his father commenting that he's going to be a big shot now. (Also, he’s reading a New Yorker magazine that blurred because apparently they could get the clearance to show it.) The next scene is a flashback of April's to the time when the couple decides to buy the house on Revolutionary Road: it shows a pregnant April and Frank being very loving towards each other. They stand for the first time in front of the picture window and April comments that "there's not escaping the picture window." Frank comments that one picture window won't ruin their personalities. As for the final scene, well Spoiler Alert:

SPOILER: Click to show

Frank is shown running into the house after he finds out April has died (even though they decided not to have an abortion, April changed her mind and performed one on herself, which ended up killing her and the baby). It is night time and he goes upstairs and discovers the bathtub where the abortion is shown although the actual bathtub is not shown. Shep then comes in the house and calls his name and begins looking for him, but Frank hides behind the door and isn't discovered. Shep leaves and Frank wonders downstairs and discovers a note from April on the table. It reads, "Whatever happens, don't blame yourself. I love you." Frank reads it and begins to cry.

All in all, this is an okay film. Sure, it is your typical Oscar bait, but it’s good Oscar bait. It could use a lot of subtlety; as my creative writing teacher said, “Show! Don’t Tell!” And, like I said, it draws comparison to Mad Men, which is vastly superior to “Revolutionary Road” in the writing department. But, I was entertained nonetheless. It had an over the top melodramatic quality that I enjoyed. Though, it could use a little more:



*sighs* Man! I would eat a cake off of her butt.

Highlight: Michael Shannon. I can’t stress enough how good he is. He’s only in two scenes, but they are good ones. The best thing about them is that whenever he starts speaking his mind, his mother tries to change the subject. However, Shannon ain’t havin’ none of that, by shutting her down with a stern “Quiet mother! I am trying to tell Leonardo DiCapprio why he is such a smorking pathetic human being!!!!” Okay, he doesn’t come out and say that, but with this movie, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.

Recommended, but only if you wanna see the couple from Titanic yell at each other for 2 hours.

[Kermit The Hulk]

Well, this is embarrassing. It appears that I’ve gone so long without reviewing a DVD in my DVD review thread that I let it lapse over into the archives. So, here is the brand new Hulk’s DVD Review Thread 2: Electric Bugaloo!

(Note: this only applies to the WrestleCrap Forums.)

First things first, before I begin, here is the previous DVD Review Thread, in case any newbies wanna look through and see what has come before:

realwrestlecrap.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=ot2009&action=display&thread=253849

Also, here’s that big Lost DVD review I did before the current and soon to be final season started:

realwrestlecrap.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=ot2010&action=display&thread=280489

Now, to the DVD that’s bringing it all back:

Firefly: The Complete Series and Serenity
4-Disc DVD (Firefly)



Earlier this year, Dollhouse, one of the best TV shows I’ve ever seen, came to a prematurely early end. It was about this secret organization that takes people, wipes their minds, turns them into blank slates or dolls, and then imprints them with various memories and skills based on the demands of rich clients. It was a neat idea, but it was very scattershot and filled with some clunker of ideas. However, it soon became apparent that the show was going to get cancelled, which eventually did happen. So, with nothing to lose, the writers quickly turned the show into a series that commenting on the loss of individualism at the hands of malicious corporations that was deeply complex and politically edgy. But, it didn’t last as long as it did and could have been so much better if it had had time to slowly build into the great show became in the second season. However, it could have been worse.

You see, Dollhouse was created by Joss Whedon and aired on FOX. The last time Whedon had a show on FOX, Firefly, it was a disaster. As bad as FOX treated Dollhouse (the same Friday night time slot; not airing one of the episodes of Season 1, forcing it to only be seen on the DVD; not airing any episode during November sweeps during the second season), the show faired better than Firefly as FOX allowed Whedon to complete the series, they aired the episodes in order, and they even introduced a new gimmick in which they had short commercial breaks, giving the episodes more time and less of a chance for viewers to change the channel. With Firefly, he pretty much got screwed. The show aired on Friday (a horrible night for TV as most people are out), it was aired out of order, and it got cancelled with many questions left unanswered. However, Whedon was able to get a movie based on the show made thanks to fan support.

Now, when I said that Firefly’s run on FOX was a disaster, I did not mean that in the creative sense. In fact, creatively, Firefly was far from a disaster. It was one of the most creative sci fi shows that has ever been on TV. It didn’t have any aliens, it didn’t feature a crew of noble heroes exploring the galaxy or trying to bring peace to it, and it didn’t look all clean and, well, futuristic. It looked more like Gunsmoke than Star Trek. And, its main characters was a crew of robbers, bandits, mercenaries, hookers, outlaws, and basically ne’er-do-wells. The only characters who weren’t involved in anything illegal was the hooker, I mean companion (prostitution is legal in this universe), and the priest, but even he had a mysterious past that suggested that he might be as holy as he appeared.

The series takes place in the year 2517, on several planets and moons. It doesn’t reveal whether these celestial bodies are within one star system, only saying that Serenity's mode of propulsion is a "gravity-drive". The film “Serenity” makes clear that all the planets and moons are in one large system, and production documents related to the film indicate that there is no faster-than-light travel in this universe. The characters occasionally refer to "Earth-that-was", and the film establishes that, long before the events in the series, a large population had emigrated from Earth to a new star system in generation ships: "Earth-that-was could no longer sustain our numbers, we were so many." The emigrants established themselves in this new star system, with "dozens of planets and hundreds of moons." Many of these were terraformed, a process in which a planet or moon is altered to resemble Earth. The terraforming process was only the first step in making a planet habitable, however, and the outlying settlements often did not receive any further support in the construction of their civilizations. This resulted in many of the border planets and moons having forbidding, dry environments, well suited to the Western genre. The show was about the lives of the nine crew members of the ship, Serenity. These characters fight criminals and schemers, Alliance security forces, the utterly psychotic and brutal Reavers, and the mysterious men with "hands of blue," who are apparently operatives of a secret agency which is part of the mega-corporation referred to in the DVD commentary only as The Blue Sun Corporation. The crew is driven by the need to secure enough income to keep their ship operational, set against their need to keep a low profile to avoid their adversaries. Their situation is greatly complicated by the divergent motivations of the individuals on board Serenity, but complex characterization was hampered by the show's brief run. These characters are:

Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds (Nathan Fillion), the owner of Serenity and former Independent sergeant in the pivotal Battle of Serenity Valley. Very little is known about the enigmatic Captain; the little he reveals about his past life betrays nothing of his character (a mystery of its own). Malcolm reveals that he grew up on a ranch, and was raised by his mother and the ranch hands. The only other scenes of his past life that are shown are about the Unification War, in which he and Zoe fought for the Independent Army, the "Browncoats", as a platoon sergeant in the 57th Overlanders. He is an efficient leader and is skilled with guns as well as in hand-to-hand combat. Mal's character is full of contradictions. He is constantly fighting his demons, and his true self remains something of a mystery.

Zoe Alleyne Washburne (Gina Torres), second-in-command onboard Serenity, a loyal wartime friend of Captain Reynolds, and the wife of Wash. Described by her husband as a "warrior woman," she has great knowledge of combat. Her past is a mystery; the only thing known is that she was born and raised on a ship and served under Mal during the war as a corporal. She demonstrates an almost unconditional loyalty to Mal, the only exception noted being her marriage to Wash, which the captain claims to have tried to prevent. Her maiden name is Warren, seen in a Serenity DVD Easter Egg.

Hoban "Wash" Washburne (Alan Tudyk), Serenity's pilot and Zoe's husband. Wash expresses jealousy over his wife's "war buddy" relationship and unconditional support of their captain, most particularly in the episode "War Stories", in which he confronts Mal regarding their relationship. While more of Wash's past is disclosed than most other characters, his background is still sparse: he joined pilot training just to see the stars, which were invisible from the surface of his polluted homeworld, and he joined Serenity despite being highly sought after by other ships. He is very light-hearted and tends to make amusing comments, despite the severity of any situation.

Inara Serra (Morena Baccarin), a Companion, which is the 26th century equivalent of a courtesan or oiran. Like her Renaissance counterparts, Inara enjoys high social standing. Her presence confers a degree of legitimacy and social acceptance the crew of Serenity would not have without her on board. She and Mal have a strained relationship, with unspoken romantic tension playing a significant part in several episodes, as well as in the movie. Inara arguably represents Mal's heart, and Mal is a noticeably darker character when Inara is absent (as during the first half of "Serenity"). She rents one of the ship's two small shuttles.

Jayne Cobb (Adam Baldwin), the hired muscle. He and Mal met on opposite sides of a rivalry; Mal, while held at gunpoint, offered Jayne his own bunk and a higher cut than his current employer, so he turned coat and shot his then-partners. In one episode, he admits freely to Mal that he would have sold Mal out to an Alliance agent if the money was good enough. He is someone who can be depended on in a fight. He tends to act like a "lummox" who thinks he is the smartest person in space, but occasional hints of intelligence peek through this façade, giving the impression that he acts dumber than he is. As Whedon states several times, Jayne is the man who will ask the questions that no one else wants to. Even though he is a macho character, he has shown a particularly intense fear of Reavers, more so than the rest of the crew. Despite his amoral mercenary persona, he sends a significant portion of his income to his mother.

Kaywinnit Lee "Kaylee" Frye (Jewel Staite), the ship's mechanic. In the episode "Out of Gas", it is established that she has no formal training, but keeps Serenity running with an intuitive gift for the workings of mechanical equipment. Jewel Staite explains Kaylee's character as being wholesome, sweet, and "completely genuine in that sweetness", adding "She loves being on that ship. She loves all of those people. And she's the only one who loves all of them incredibly genuinely." She has a crush on Dr. Simon Tam. Kaylee is the soul of the ship: according to creator Joss Whedon, if Kaylee believes something, it is true.

Dr. Simon Tam (Sean Maher), a medical researcher and trauma surgeon of the first caliber (top 3% in his class at a top core-planet institution), who is on the run after breaking his sister River out of a government research facility. In the episode "Safe", it is revealed that he and River had a privileged upbringing with access to the best education and that Simon sacrificed a highly-successful future in medicine, over his stern father's severe objections, when he rescued River. His bumbling attempts at a romantic relationship with Kaylee are a recurring subplot throughout the series, and at every turn he seems to find a way to unwittingly foil his attempts at romance. His life is defined by caring for his sister.

River Tam (Summer Glau), the mysterious girl who may or may not be a psychic who was smuggled onto the ship by her brother. River was a child prodigy of unparalleled genius, but she was experimented upon at the hands of Alliance doctors, leaving her delusional, erratic, and at times violent. Her personal journey of self-discovery is a running theme throughout the series and the movie. River is constantly at war with her own demons. She sees and hears things that others do not, and experiences waking dreams of her memories of the Alliance "academy" experiments. Opinions of her vary among the crew: some value her, Jayne fears her, and the rest just want her to stay out of trouble. She is also telepathic.

Derrial Book (Ron Glass), a Shepherd (equivalent to a pastor). Although presented as a devout Christian man, Book demonstrates a depth of knowledge about the activities of criminals (in "Our Mrs. Reynolds") and corrupt police (in "The Message"). He is also proficient in hand-to-hand combat and the use of firearms. When questioned on his non-Biblical intentions during the rescue in "War Stories", Book replies somewhat ironically that while the Bible is quite specific about killing, it's "somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps." In "Safe," he was shown to have sufficient status in the Alliance to receive medical treatment from the military with no questions asked. Book represents Mal's guide, conscience, and lost spirituality, while his hidden backstory was to have been gradually revealed, had the series continued.

[Kermit The Hulk]

Well, enough backstory. Let’s get on with the show:

Disc 1
1. "Serenity"



Director: Joss Whedon

Writer(s): Joss Whedon

Original Airdate: 12-20-02

Plot: The crew is eager to rid themselves of an easily traceable salvage from a vessel adrift in space, unaware that a passenger has brought an even more dangerous cargo aboard.

Thoughts: See that airdate. That makes this, the pilot episode, the last episode of Firefly that was ever aired. If that doesn’t explain how much FOX bungled this series, then I don’t know what will. Which is a damn shame because it does show that this is going to be very different from the sci fi fare most people are accustomed to see. Here, there is no boring intergalactic politics, never ending barrage of technobabble, and aliens that save for some light make up, don’t look all that different from humans (though that last one wasn’t anything I’ve ever minded). Instead, we get dusty run down settings, lots of Chinese, and a pretty easy to follow political conflict: the Alliance/Independents war is pretty similar to the American Civil War and the Indian Wars; so anyone with a basic history of 19th America could follow it. That was one of the main appeals of the show: it didn’t follow many of the sci fi clichés that have taken over the genre. This becomes apparent in the opening scene in which the vacuum of space swallows any and all sounds. Pretty much every TV show set in space has gotten that wrong: if there’s no air in space, then there can’t be any sound. Yet, whenever I’ve seen a ship exploding on Star Trek, there’s a loud explosion. It’s annoying. But, that one little detail of realism was so damn refreshing that it pretty much made me a fan of the show to begin with.

Of course, the rest of the show helped. If you’ve ever wanted to see what Han Solo was like before “A New Hope,” then Malcolm Reynolds is as close as you’ll get. Nathan Fillion does a good job of emulating Harrison Ford’s cocky swagger while adding some little touches that make the character his own. For one, he’s a little funnier; it helps that he was given some great lines here thanks to creator Whedon. I especially love the chemistry between him and Morena Baccarin. I hate to reference Star Wars again, but the relationship between them did remind me of the one between Leia and Han. However, I do like that these two never hooked up. I don’t know if Mal and Inara would have ever had sex if the show had gone on longer. Honestly, I don’t know if that would have been a good idea, since having characters with great sexually chemistry is said to ruin a show. But, at the same time, Whedon was able to get Buffy and Angel to have sex and still keep the show and sexual chemistry between the two characters going. Though, it helped that he only had them have sex once. I’ll talk about the acting of the rest of the cast later on, but I will say that this was well casted as pretty much each actor had their character nailed from the beginning. As for the writing, it had some great original touches and nicely sets up the main mystery that would have run through out the show if it had gone on longer, that being River Tam and what the Alliance did to her. I also liked the suspense it added to the whole proceedings by shooting Kaylee. Because it’s the pilot, we don’t know if she’s gonna make and stick around in the episode. Plus, it helped that Jewel Staite brought a nice sweetness to the character that made the stakes much higher. Another thing that raises the stakes is the fact that Serenity has no guns. That amps up the suspense sense the ship could easily be blown out of the sky. So, all in all, we have a pretty damn good pilot that nicely sets up what will be a different king of sci fi show. 8/10.

2. "The Train Job"



Director: Joss Whedon

Writer(s): Joss Whedon & Tim Minear

Original Airdate: 9-20-02

Plot: Mal has second thoughts after discovering that two boxes of Alliance goods the crew has been hired to steal are full of badly needed medical supplies headed for the mining town of Paradiso.

Thoughts: Here’s the thing about second episodes: they aren’t always that great because they usually have the burden of having to re-setting up what the pilot established but in a much shorter time for the benefit of viewers who didn’t see the pilot while telling a different story for the benefit of those who did. Unfortunately, this doesn’t really work as the new viewers can get lost sense all the setting up is rushed and doesn’t have time to be properly told like it did in the pilot. And, the old viewers just want to move on and get annoyed by the repeating of info they already know. It can be pretty tricky doing this and get out a good episode that pleases everyone. This one doesn’t exactly work, but it is pretty good. For one, it doesn’t re state the info in the pilot well; and it didn’t help that this episode was aired first while the pilot was aired last. So, the people who first tuned into this episode were no doubt confused about whom the Serenity crew were; and the people who first tuned into the next were most likely even more confused. I don’t know why FOX felt this would be a better first episode than the pilot, which was written to be the first episode; and their decision hurts the quality of the episode (well, at the time; now on DVD it’s in its intended order and works well.

However, the plot and writing are able to keep FOX’s decision from completely ruining it. I liked how Mal and his crew had reservations about the job once they realized it would cost a lot of people some valuable medicine. The fact that they are thieves and more interested in money than saving the world makes this show much more fun to watch than Star Trek and Star Wars at times, but it does help that they aren’t complete brigands. Don’t get me wrong, I like to root for the bad guys; but not everyone else does. Plus, this little “thieves with a heart of gold” trait adds some well-rounded character elements to it. Also, the episode is just fun to watch. I’m always up for a good heist tale. And, there are some good visual elements to it, like the difference between the clean, sterilized look of the Alliance and the dirtiness of Paradiso. I also enjoyed the introduction of the Men With Blue Gloves. It was short and simple: they show up at the end to inquire about River. It adds a new mystery to the show and some villains with an interesting look. So, this wasn’t that bad of second episode. Sure, FOX’s rescheduling of it may hurt it; but we don’t have to worry about that now. 8/10.

3. "Bushwhacked"



Director: Tim Minear

Writer(s): Tim Minear

Original Airdate: 9-27-02

Plot: After encountering a booby-trapped spacecraft carrying the lone survivor of a Reaver attack, Serenity is boarded by an Alliance patrol.

Thoughts: As I’ve said, there are no aliens on this show, but the closest we got are Reavers. They are humans, but they aren’t. In the show, it is established that the solar system the show takes place the outer planets and moons are similar to the American West in that they have little governmental authority (“The Train Job” showed that nicely with Paradiso). And, so out in the farthest reaches of the system, there were people who had so few supplies and authority that they all went crazy and cannibalistic, thus becoming the Reavers. They’re basically the boogey men in this universe, stories parents tell their children to behave. However, these boogey men actually exist; and they are very brutal. The show nice establishes how evil and sadistic the Reavers are. For one, they don’t show them. Sure, we’ve seen a Reaver ship in “Serenity” (the pilot), and they were in the movie. However, not one Reaver was shown in the series itself. Not showing the monsters makes it much scarier as it allows the audience’s imagination to run wild. Plus, it saves money on casting and make up.

I also liked how this episode gives up an extended look at the Alliance. Much like the Reavers, all we’ve had to go on from them was a few scenes of them looking all superior and Mal’s word that they aren’t good people. Here, we get to see that Mal’s partially right as we get a serious looking Alliance captain, played with some nice sternness that’s borderline dickish from Doug Savant. From him, we get the sense that the Alliance is not to be f***ed with; but at the same time, they are trying to bring law and order to place of chaos. However, it’s still their idea of law and order; and not everyone may agree with it. But, what really makes this episode work is Tim Minear, who wrote and directed it. He has a nice touch with look and feel of it; it’s pretty tense and scary. I also like the way he handled the characters, from the nice little rivalry between Jayne and Simon; Shepard’s ability to see the goodness in anyone, even Reavers; and Mal’s sternness with his crew and his surprising humanity with regards to the bodies of the crew. The best part of the episode is the interrogation scenes, where some of the funniest lines are said. The best part of the whole thing is Jayne just staring at the Alliance captain. All in all, Minear creates a tense and scary episode balanced with some great moments of brevity to create a pretty good episode. 8/10.

Disc 2
4. "Shindig"



Director: Vern Gillum

Writer(s): Jane Espenson

Original Airdate: 11-1-02

Plot: In order to secure a job transporting cargo off-planet for a client, Mal attends a social event where a dance with Inara ends with him challenged to a swordfight to defend her honor.

Thoughts: Now, I should elaborate on when I said that I would talk about the performances of the cast earlier. The thing is: I didn’t really want to comment on each performance in each episode review because I was afraid it would make it too long for the post (and I spent a lot of that on the backstory of the show). So, I decided to talk about the cast’s performances in certain episodes in which the actor’s character was prominently featured. Why? Because, the show got cancelled with only 14 episodes made, and because it was so short, there was no evolution of the characters, like in say Lost or Buffy: The Vampire Slayer or pretty much any show that went on for years and saw a drastic change in character traits throughout the series. The characters are pretty much the same from the beginning, but this isn’t really a bad thing. Here, they were trying to establish the character so that they could grow throughout the series. And, since we never got to see how they would have to evolve; all we have to go on about these characters is what we get in these 14 episodes.

So, enough talk, let’s get to the character I’ll be focusing on in this episode, who just so happens to be my favorite one on the show: Kaylee. This is just a wonderfully written character. I love the energy and the “aw, shucks” quality of her, and I love how much she knows about mechanics and how deeply passionate she is about the profession and the ship (her defensiveness towards the ship after the Alliance Captain called it a junker in “Bushwacked” was a real highlight). But, what makes the character really work is Jewel Staite. She plays Kaylee beautifully, with a nice blend of optimism and world weariness. She’s particularly good here, which is why I decided to focus on her performance in this review. She has many good scenes, like when the crew walks up to the dress shops on Persephone and Mal hurts her feelings and when she impresses all the men at the party (writer Jane Espenson gives her some good material to work with). Staite was pretty much the highlight of the episode, but she ain’t the only reason this is a good episode. Once again, we get some more of the great chemistry between Fillion and Baccarin, which is basically the heart of the episode since Mal’s unsaid crush on Inara leads to the duel with her client Atherton Wing. I especially like Fillion’s disgust with how Atherton feels he basically owns Inara; it had just as much to do with his feelings toward oppression as it does his feelings for Inara. And, his reaction to learning that the duel will use swords was priceless. All in all, this was a fun episode that manages to mix ruggedness with class; it’s almost as if it’s suggesting that in this universe the two are intertwined. 9/10.

5. "Safe"



Director: Michael Grossman

Writer(s): Drew Z. Greenberg

Original Airdate: 11-8-02

Plot: When Simon and River are kidnapped by a group of villagers in need of a doctor, Serenity's crew is forced to make contact with an Alliance cruiser to get medical help for Shepherd Book.

Thoughts: Now, to look at the two characters who are the heart of the show’s main mystery: the Tams. This episode not only has them being separated from the rest of the Serenity crew but also show some flashbacks to their life before River became a government experiment and Simon became a fugitive in order to save her. So, here I’m gonna talk about the performances of Summer Glau (River) and Sean Maher (Simon). First, Ms. Glau, who I have to say impressed me the most out of the cast with her performance. You see, she has the most difficult job as she has give such an erratic performance. Just look at the last episode, “Shindig,” in that one episode River goes from acting all crazy, ripping off labels of canned food, to then suddenly spouting a British accent putting some fear into Badger. It was a great little performance that Glau handled well. Here, she does just as good a job. I especially liked the scene where River gets cozy to the cows after they been unloaded on the planet. As for Maher, I think he does a good job as the outsider. I like his bewilderment and uneasiness he displays with all the things the Serenity crew gets up to. Though he does have an air of smugness to him, it helps with the character. For one, it makes for a nice scene between Simon and Kaylee when he spouts out some disparaging words against Mal, set up nicely by an argument between the two at the beginning of the episode. And, it was interesting how the scene not only set up a possible budding romance between Simon and Kaylee; I liked how Kaylee did a 180 once Serenity leaves without Simon.

As for the episode itself, it was pretty damn good. As I mentioned, Greenberg did a good job with the script. I really liked this nice little exchange:

RIVER: They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky and they remember what they are.
MAL: Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me.

It’s a nice bit of writing that was also played well by Glau and Fillion. And, there was this gem from Jayne: "Dear Diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hill folk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever." I also really enjoyed Grossman’s direction in the episode. A highlight was the shoot out being intercut River dancing at that little shindig. This episode also nicely established more of the mystery surrounding the Tams while also giving some backstory to it as well as establishing more of the mystery surrounding Shepard’s past with the Alliance. And, it had some good suspense with the village trying to burn River for being a witch; I really liked how the patron didn’t believe that River was a witch until she implied that he killed the old patron. Like I said, it is a well crafted episode. 9/10.

6. "Our Mrs. Reynolds"



Director: Vondie Curtis Hall

Writer(s): Joss Whedon

Original Airdate: 10-4-02

Plot: After a celebration honoring the crew for ridding a township of a group of bandits, Mal returns to Serenity and finds a woman named Saffron stowed away—who claims Mal married her during the festivities.

Thoughts: If for nothing else, this episodes deserves to be considered a classic for simply introducing me to this woman:



GODDAMN! SHE’S FINE! Now that I’ve gotten my sexist macho man attitude out of the way, I would like to point out that her name is Christina Hendricks; and she is a damn fine actress. Anyone who watches Mad Men would know that, but before she stole the hearts of many men on that show, she made this fine guest appearance on the show as Saffron, who would have been a great recurring character had the show gone on longer. But, she is a hoot and half here. Hendricks gives a damn fine performance. She has a great vulnerability in the first half, which nicely sets up the big twist that Saffron ain’t who she says she is. She also has a lot charisma to be able to pull off the twist, so she was very well casted in the role (props to the casting people for finding her).

As for the episode, man, it’s funny. There are so many great scenes here, like the cold opening with Jayne and Mal pretending to be husband and wife respectively in order to get the drop on some bandits; Shepard warning Mal to not take advantage of his new bride; the dinner scene with Mal, Saffron, Zoe, and Wash (Alan Tudyk was especially hilarious in said scene); Jayne trying to trade Vera his favorite gun for Mal’s bride; Mal finding Saffron in his bunk; and pretty much the whole sequence where Saffron goes about sabotaging Serenity and taking out the crew. In fact, I think this may be the funniest script Joss Whedon has turned out. Though, it does work thanks to the acting. The whole cast is top notch in this one. I especially liked Fillion’s flustered state with the whole deal and Baccarin’s hurt over Mal having a wife. And, like I said, they had a great guest star to work with. She’s charming and charismatic, and she’s her sexuality well. I hate to sound sexist, but it does help that Hendricks is hot as hell as it makes sense that a woman this good looking could cause so much trouble. Plus, that scene where Saffron tries to seduce Inara. HOT! 9/10.

7. "Jaynestown"



Director: Marita Grabiak

Writer(s): Ben Edlund

Original Airdate: 10-18-02

Plot: When the crew returns to a planet where Jayne participated in a heist gone bad, they're shocked to discover that Jayne's past actions have turned him into a local Robin Hood legend.

Thoughts: Now, to Jayne. I’d figure this would be the best place to talk about this character and Adam Baldwin, considering it is named after the character. Anyway, Adam Baldwin is a somewhat famous character actor who has gotten steady work over the years and is currently a cast member of Chuck mainly due to the fact that is a pretty damn fine actor. I think his strong suit is comedic work, but he can handle serious drama if need be. And, here he showcases all of his acting talents. Again, I have to say that he was well casted in the role. He perfectly plays up Jayne’s dumbfoundedness at certain things, his quick temper, his borderline creepiness, and his apathy to anything classy, high falutin, and pretentious. He’s a down to Earth kind of guy who prefers to brutality to finesse. He’s the perfect guy to have on your side in fight, but he will easily switch sides if it will help him out. And, here it’s all played to perfection when comes to Canton and discovers that he’s become a local folk hero. It’s a nifty idea: after getting to know this guy as anything but the Robin Hood type, we find out that he’s become just as referred to Canton as Robin of Loxley was to Sherwood Forest. I liked how it was played for laughs at first (a particularly nice scene was when Inara hears of the tale and mistakenly thinks it’s Mal) and then became something more when it becomes apparent how much these poor mud makers need a hero. And, Baldwin plays the whole thing well, especially at the end when Jayne makes the big speech that gets ruined when an old adversary spoils the party.

Though, Baldwin isn’t the only highlight of the episode. I really liked the scenes with River and Shepard, especially when River freaks out at seeing Shepard’s un-cut hair; it was funny and stayed true to the character. This was also a good showcase for Kaylee and Simon. I liked how Maher played Simon’s uneasiness with pretending to be the boss in order to secure Serenity’s deal. And, the scenes with them getting drunk were pretty funny as well; I especially liked this line from Simon: To Jayne! The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong-thing. I also liked how the writers were able to keep Simon and Kaylee from getting together despite being so close to do so. But, what I really liked was how the episode ended on such a downer. It was a fun episode, but Jayne’s return may have perked the citizens of Compton up and gave them some relief from the misery that is their lives, it didn’t really change their lives. In fact, with one person dying, he actually left things worse. Not only that but he sort of destroyed their hero image of him. Of course, I say sort of because, as Jayne says at the end, they probably put that statue of him back up after he knocked it down. 8/10.

[Kermit The Hulk]

Disc 3
8. "Out of Gas"



Director: David Solomon

Writer(s): Tim Minear

Original Airdate: 10-25-02

Plot: An explosion leaves Serenity crippled. Mal orders everyone to abandon ship while he stays behind to try to make repairs. As Serenity's air slowly but surely leaks away, we're treated to a series of flashbacks, from Mal's point of view, that fills in some missing background for the original crew members, including Mal's early interactions with each of them.

Thoughts: This…well…this is a great episode. This is the best episode of the series. Hell, this is one of the finest episodes of TV ever made. I know that all sounds very hyperbolic, but I honest mean it. I like how it is structured, switching from the catastrophe that has hit Serenity to Mal flashbacking to picking up his crew to Mal desperately trying to repair the ship despite a gunshot in his gut. And, I liked how it was able to retain the show’s sense of humor even though this is a pretty serious episode. Some nice touches were River comforting Shepard by telling him they’ll all freeze to death before they suffocate and Mal and Wash’s fight. I have to applaud Minear for writing such a well crafted episode. I also have to give him and director Solomon props for making it suspenseful even though it is pretty obvious that Mal will survive and get the ship running again, especially considering this is just the eighth episode of the series, and I figure that they all figured that they might have more shows left in the series. Well, they did, but more than they got. However, it does have the feel of a last episode, like there is some finality to it what with the crew splitting up and Mal’s predicament. I think it was Mal’s reflections to the past and what not.

However, it wasn’t just the writing and directing that made this a great episode. It was very well acted. The cast has some chemistry among them, and here it is in top form. The dinner scene is a great example of this. However, the MVP of the episode is the man playing the main character, Nathan Fillion. Earlier, I said that Summer Glau had the toughest acting job because she had the toughest acting because her character was so erratic. Well, Fillion has the second toughest. You see, he has to switch emotions just as much as Glau, though he catches a break as he doesn’t have to be so believably crazy. However, he has be stoic and confident at times and then switch to playful and cocky. Even though he’s been compared to Han Solo, Fillion also has to be Obi-Wan Kenobi. It’s like he’s combining the best qualities of Kirk and Picard. Though, I hate to make comparisons because Fillion doesn’t just nail the role but also makes the character a complete original in the sci fi pantheon. And, this episode is a great example of his work on the show. In fact, it’s just a great example of why Firefly has such a rabid following. I mean, how can a show that produces an episode this well acted, written, and directed get cancelled so quickly? It just ain’t fair that it didn’t get to air long enough to produce many more episodes of this quality. 10/10.

9. "Ariel"



Director: Allan Kroeker

Writer(s): Jose Molina

Original Airdate: 11-15-02

Plot: Simon offers the crew a job: if they help him sneak River into an Alliance Hospital on Ariel so he can run diagnostic imaging on her, he'll tell them where to find medical supplies that will fetch an enormous price on the black market.

Thoughts: Before I begin, this episode has some nice twist and turns. However, to fully review the episode, I have to spoil these twist and turns for anyone who hasn’t seen the episode before. So, here’s your warning:



One of the things I like about Joss Whedon’s shows is that even though the main cast is presented as friends, they still fight. While this does happen on a lot of TV shows, usually the conflict is easily resolved by the end of the episode. But, here, much like with Buffy and Angel and Dollhouse, if two people don’t get along, then they usually continue to not get along until the show ends. There may be times they’ll be cordial, but most of the time they just didn’t mix. With Firefly, we have this conflict between Jayne and Simon. For one, they are opposites. Simon is educated, cultured, civilized, and Jayne is, nicely putting it, not. Also, Jayne ain’t a noble man. So, he obviously didn’t like it that Mal took on a pair of fugitives simply because River had been tortured and turned into a walking weapon. Plus, River’s a little freaky; and that makes Jayne uncomfortable, especially in this episode when she slices his chest with a knife in the cold open. (By the way, I forgot that happened; so it was quite a shock and great way to set up the episode.) Of course, this also leads to the main conflict in the episode: Jayne turning in Simon and River during the heist. Now, this did come off as telegraphed considering that Jayne has been constantly harping on turning the Tams in because they bring trouble and turning them in would bring a reward. Though, I did like the twist that Jayne got arrested as well. It was a nice touch and easy way to get Jayne to help the Tams escape without having go all sentimental.

I also liked how Mal knew that Jayne ratted the Tams out. By setting up that Jayne is the type who looks out of himself, it was clever to have Mal suspect that he was the one who nearly f***ed things up for them and be right (a nice touch on writer Molina’s part). Plus, the scene where Mal confronts Jayne about his actions was incredibly intense. Another thing I liked about this episode was that this is the first time we get a good look at the other side of the Firefly’s universe: the rich side. We’ve mostly seen the outer planets, i.e. the poor places that the Alliance leaves to their own devices, the place make the show look like Bonanza. Here, we get to see the central planets, i.e. that benefit the most from the Alliance’s wealth and care. We’ve gone from the Ponderosa to the Federation. Though we only get a glimpse since this was only episode that took place in Alliance territory, we could see that the Alliance does have some benefits, like wealth and health care. However, we also see some negatives, like corrupt law officers and shady government figures. Yes, the Men in the Blue Gloves return, and they are a lot more sinister than the last time we saw them, what with the killing. But, what I really liked about this episode was the acting. Baldwin and Maher have a great chemistry in their characters’ apathy toward one another. And, that’s what makes all the backstabbing and conflict work. 9/10.

10. "War Stories"



Director: James Contner

Writer(s): Cheryl Cain

Original Airdate: 12-6-02

Plot: Wash insists he be allowed to accompany Mal on a mission instead of Zoe... and immediately regrets it when the two are captured by Adelei Niska—the client who previously hired Mal to steal the medicine bound for Paradiso.

Thoughts: Now, for Zoe and Wash. I decided to talk about these two together since they are a married couple and usually together when us viewers see them on screen. First, Zoe. I have to say, I don’t have many problems with this show. But, one of them is that Gina Torres was a little underutilized. I think she is a fine actress, and she plays the role of Zoe well. However, they didn’t really give the character much to do. There is some mystery to her because the writers haven’t revealed much about the character, and I figured that her backstory would eventually come out slowly. However, that got kyboshed when the show got cancelled. And, that’s a shame because Zoe didn’t do much in these, what would have been, early episodes. To me, her being married to Wash came off as her dominant character trait. Though, I do like the mystery surrounding Zoe as it does make her intriguing. But, we just never got a chance to figure her out, and that does hurt her character in my eyes. But, like I said, Torres played the character well. And, she had excellent chemistry with Alan Tudyk. I mean, they really felt like a married couple; it also helped that the writers wrote them well.

Speaking of Tudyk, he’s a great character actor; and he’s excellent as Wash. He has the most fun with his character, mainly because Wash is the resident smart ass. Though, he can handle the dramatic stuff well, as the argument between Wash and Zoe and Wash’s determination to get Mal back proves. But, this is a comedic showcase for him. I especially liked the argument Wash and Mal have while blindfolded and the torture scene; nicely played by both of Tudyk and Fillion. There was one glaring problem I had with the episode: the subplot of Inara taking on a female client. It came off as gimmicky to me, and frankly, I felt it could have been dropped and nothing would have been loss. Other than that, this is also smartly written. I liked how Niska was brought back. He’s depicted to be a particularly nasty fellow. And, I think they were trying to establish a pattern for Firefly, recurring villains who would make trouble for the crew throughout while the mystery about River is slowly solved (which was nicely played out here when she saves Kaylee by picking up her gun and shooting four guys). It would have been a good way to run the show, but it got cancelled. So, we didn’t get to see how it would have played out. However, that is just speculation; and if there is one silver lining to a show getting cancelled, then it’s the fun of speculating how it would have played out if it would have continued. 8/10.

11. "Trash"



Director: Vern Gillum

Writer(s): Ben Edlund & Jose Molina

Original Airdate: Never Aired

Plot: Mal is surprised to discover his old war buddy's new bride is Saffron; he's even more suspicious when she offers him a partnership in a heist after he blows her cover.

Thoughts: Now, we’re entering strange territory. You see, three episodes never aired. Well, never aired on FOX. This is the first, and it’s a damn shame this was one that never saw the light of day until the DVD release. People missed out on seeing Saffron’s return, but seeing it on DVD must have been a pleasant surprise. Saffron’s first appearance was fun episode. As for this one, it is fun. But, I felt they were able to catch the same magic “Our Mrs. Reynolds” had. I think one of the reasons for that is that Joss Whedon, who wrote that episode, didn’t write this one. Now, this isn’t a slight against Edlund and Molina’s script. They did a fine job, but I just preferred the first one. But, hey! Christina Hendricks is back! Like I said, she is a fine woman. Hey! Let’s take another look!



Oh yeah. That’s nice.

Anyway, she gives a nice performance here, especially considering that she has to switch things up considering that Saffron has been exposed. And, the chemistry between her and Fillion is still in top form here. Man, it would have been great to see what these two could have done if the show had gone on longer. Speaking of chemistry, Fillion has some great scenes with Baccarin in here as well. I especially like the jealousy Baccarin plays way; she’s good at trying to hide it and failing. As for the episode itself, it’s a typical heist story: there’s an object of valuable, it’s difficult to get at, so they come up with a clever way to steal it, they go to steal, something causes it to go a little wrong yet fails to kill the job, there’s a double cross and maybe some past issues involved, etc. Nothing particularly original, but it is written and shot well. There are some funny lines, and I liked Mal’s war buddy Monty, who had a nice line himself: Damn you, Bridget. Damn you to Hades. You broke my heart into a million pieces. You made me love you and then you...I shaved off my beard for you, devil-woman! And, it has Christina Hendricks; and that’s always a plus. Ah, what the hell! Another photo!



Nice. (By the way, there is a treat for the ladies: Nathan Fillion’s bare ass.) 8/10.

Disc 4
12. "The Message"



Director: Tim Minear

Writer(s): Joss Whedon & Tim Minear

Original Airdate: Never Aired

Plot: Jayne opens a package from his mother that contains an orange/yellow wool cap with ear flaps and a pom-pom -- Mal and Zoe open a package to discover the body of their old war buddy, Tracey. Winner? Definitely Jayne.

Thoughts: Before I begin, like with the “Ariel” review, I’m gonna have to do some spoiling. So, here’s your warning:



Now, this is a damn fine episode, and it ain’t hard to see why: it’s written by Whedon and Minear, the two guys running the show, and Minear directs. There are some great touches to it, like the cold open that has look and feel of a 19th century carnival and the hucksters running it down pat. And, of course, Jayne’s hat. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall in the room when the writers came up with that gem. And, there are some good lines like:

Simon: This may come as a surprise, but I'm not very good at talking to girls.
Zoe: Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?

And:

Jayne: (wearing orange knit hat) How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don'tchya think?
Kaylee: I think it's the sweetest hat ever.
Book: Makes a statement.
Jayne: Yeah, yeah!
Wash: A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.
Jayne: Damn straight.

And:

Jayne: We're taking him on board?
Mal: We are.
Jayne: Don't figure the percentage in that.
Mal: Don't strain your brain trying, then. Might break something.

But, the real prize is a nice guest starring role from Jonathan M. Woodward as Tracey, Mal and Zoe’s war buddy. Anyone who frequently watches Whedon’s shows will recognize this guy; he also appeared on Buffy and Angel. And, it’s not hard to see why. He does a pretty damn good job in the roles he’s given. I really like how he delivers the message that was with Tracey’s body; he does it with great fear and uncertainty that really makes it heartfelt. I also liked how Whedon and Minear tied the message back into the end when the crew takes Tracey back to his home after it turns out he ain’t really dead but ends up so when the men he faked his death to get away from come calling. This was some clever writing on Whedon and Minear’s part. Other good examples of this are Mal and Zoe sharing war stories with Inara and the episode’s big twist (Tracey popping up and scaring everyone was nicely done).

Now, for a few words on Ron Glass, the man who played Shepard. Here’s the think: this isn’t really a Shepard centric episode, but there wasn’t really a Shepard centric episode in the series, except for “Safe.” And, I already spent that review talking about Maher and Glau. So, I figured now would be just as good a time as any to talk about him. Here, he has some great material to work with as he easily figures out that the Alliance officers chasing Tracey are corrupt ones and the way he scares them off. Like with the rest of the cast, Glass was well casted in the role. He has the right amount of stoic dignity and humbleness to play a man of the cloth. And, he has enough charisma to play to mysterious nature of his past without giving away that he hasn’t always been a preacher his whole life. It’s a shame that Glass never got to fully showcase his skills in an episode fully dedicated to his character because, judging by the way he handles the material he’s given here, that would have been a real treat to watch. 8/10.

13. "Heart of Gold"



Director: Thomas J. Wright

Writer(s): Brett Matthews

Original Airdate: Never Aired

Plot: The crew comes to the aid of an unlicensed bordello when its madam contacts Inara for help as the very powerful Rance Burgess comes to take the baby of a whore he impregnated.

Thoughts: Now, for Morena Baccarin. It seems like every show with a large ensemble cast has to have one character who takes things a little more seriously than the others. Sometimes, that becomes the character’s defining trait, but the thing I like about Whedon’s shows is that the serious character isn’t all that serious. He or she is allowed to be funny and make sarcastic quips. Now, Firefly definitely has one of the most playful and funny cast of characters in all the sci fi and/or drama shows I’ve seen, but there is one character who’s more serious at times and that is definitely Inara. She’s a woman who takes her job very seriously and hates it when people look down on it, which is the main reason for the conflict between Inara and Mal. Of course, that ain’t the only reason: she has feelings for Mal but can’t bring herself to admit it. And, Baccarin plays this beautifully. It’s amazing how she can go from disdain for Mal to longing for him in a few scenes. She is the perfect foil for Fillion’s rugged charm and charisma, which is why they made for such a great “Will they or won’t they?” couple. This episode is a great example of this; I especially liked the scene where Inara breaks down after learning Mal has had sex with her friend Nandi. It was very heartbreaking, and Baccarin played that heartbreak with the right amount of humanity to keep it from being melodramatic.

Of course, this isn’t just a showcase for Baccarin. Baldwin is in fine form here. Of course, the writer (here Matthews) gives him plenty to do with Jayne’s perversions. It also has two nice guest star roles for Frederick Lane, who plays Burgess to almost melodramatic bluster, and Melinda Clarke as Nandi. By the way, this is the second time I’ve seen her play a hooker who has sex with someone who helps her from imminent danger; she had a similar role on CSI. That is a very specific role to be typecast in. Also, this is a very fun episode to watch. There are a lot of funny moments, like the aforementioned Jayne parts and the scenes where Simon has to deliver a baby all while Burgess and his men rain down of the bordello. Plus, it’s very action packed. I haven’t talked a lot about the show’s action sequences, so I’ll rectify that now: they’re good, pretty well done, and exciting. So, all in all, this is a fun, exciting, action-packed episode. 8/10.

14. "Objects in Space"



Director: Joss Whedon

Writer(s): Joss Whedon

Original Airdate: 12-13-02

Plot: Everyone (well, almost everyone) is caught off-guard when a bounty hunter looking for River sneaks aboard Serenity while the ship is in deep space and methodically begins taking down the crew.

Thoughts: Well, this is it. This is the last episode of Firefly that was made. And, I have to say: it’s a nice note to go out on. Though I think “Out Of Gas” would have made a better ending, this one does just fine. It’s a bit myth heavy as it mainly focuses on River. The cold opening was very good, nicely showing how River’s psychic abilities make her feel out of place with the others since she knows them so intimately, has seen a side of them that they show with everyone else, which makes her pull away in fear. It was very well shot by Whedon, as was the rest of the episode. It is sort of gimmicky what with most of the episode focusing on Simon and the bounty hunter Jubal Early (played nicely by Richard Brooks). Brooks and Maher do handle their scenes together very well, and they are given some great material from Whedon. In fact, this is a pretty well written episode. I especially enjoyed a lot of Mal’s dialogue. He has gotten some very great lines throughout the series as his character does seem like he would be fun to write for. Other favorite parts of mine from this episode are the scene with Early and Kaylee (a nicely acted scene from Staite) and Jayne sleeping through the whole brouhaha.

However, there is one flaw in the episode; and it has nothing to do with the writing, directing, or acting. It’s that it does a lot of setting up for what’s to come in the series, or what would have come if it hadn’t gotten cancelled. Here, they’re setting up that River is potentially dangerous to the crew, what the Alliance did to her, how Simon’s gonna help, what Shepard’s past is, whether or not Inara actually will leave Serenity. However, the show got cancelled, and this episode created a whole bunch of what if’s. Luckily, there was a movie that tied up all the loose ends, but you have to agree that this show would have been better if it had had more time to slowly reveal the mysteries it brought up. But still, it is a good one to go out on. 9/10.

Before I move on to “Serenity,” let’s looks at the special features: we have three behind-the-scenes featurettes: Here’s How It Was (which explains the shows origins, the problems they had with FOX, the fans, and what would have happened if the show hadn’t been cancelled), Serenity—The Tenth Character (which is about how the ship was like a character on the show), and Joss Whedon Tours The Set (it’s exactly what it sounds like); audio commentary on several episodes: Whedon and Fillion on “Serenity,” Whedon and Minear on “The Train Job,” Jane Espenson, Morena Baccarin, and costume designer Shawna Trpcic on “Shindig” (by the way, those were some damn find costumes in that episode, and she did a good job overall on the series), Minear and Solomon on “Out Of Gas,” Fillion and Tudyk on “War Stories,” Tudyk and Staite on “The Message,” and Whedon on “Objects In Space”; deleted scenes (the original opening of the pilot “Serenity,” Shepard talking with Simon after Kaylee had been shot, Simon talking with Zoe about the Battle Of Serenity, a scene from “Our Mrs. Reynolds” in which River asks Shepard to marry her and Simon, and a scene that makes reference to Inara leaving, it was originally aired with the rest of the episode but got deleted according to how Whedon intended the episode to be); Alan Tudyk’s audition; Joss Whedon singing the “Firefly” theme (also exactly what it sounds like); and a gag reel. All in all, these are some okay special features. I felt the gag reel was a little too short. Though, I did enjoy that deleted scene that had Zoe telling Simon about the Battle of Serenity; Torres played it well, and I think it could have been used in the pilot even if it was taken out after the opening got reshot.