Post by thelesserevil on Jul 6, 2009 20:42:00 GMT -5
Here with the second "review" or summary of Kill Bill Vol.2 because no one asked for it, but I'm forcing you to feel me...in my pants. 
Kill Bill Vol.2
Volume 2 starts recaping the events of volume 1 and the bride driving to the last person on her death list, BILL!
Here in my car I feel safest of all, do do do, do do do.
chapter 6 The Massacre at Two Pines shows the Bride and her friends at her wedding reharsal, The Bride finds Bill in front of the chapel, he is kind and polite. The Bride asks Bill to be able to move on from her life of assassination, and Bill appears to consent. She takes her place at the altar as The Deadly Vipers arrive outside the chapel and kill everyone at the rehearsal....or so they think!
Chapter 7 begins with Bill warning his brother Budd a former Viper, now overweight and living in a trailer, that the Bride is on her way to mess his crap up, The Bride arrives ready for
some killin', but Budd is anticipating her arrival and shoots her in the chest with rock salt and injects her with a sedative (this is how Im usually greeted). Budd calls Elle Driver and makes a deal to sell The Brides Hanzo sword for 1 million dollar dollar bills ya'll. Budd then lays The Bride to rest in a "Texas funeral", burying her alive in someone else's grave.
This is NOT the tanning salon
The End.
....Oh wait no, no there's more, sorry about that.
In Chapter 8 The Bride reminses her early training with legendary martial artist Pai Mei an eldery master who could perform the fatal attack "Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique"
which he has taught to no one, not even Bill. According to Bill, Pai Mei hates "white folk, hates yankees, and is a sexist" not an exact quote. Despite this he takes in The Bride and teaches her how to whip some ass. She eventually gains his respect.
White bitch!
Now back to that pesky grave, The Bride uses the power of gray skull, I mean her Pai Mei training techniques to break out of the coffin and claw her way to the surface.
Chapter 9, untitled "Elle and I" The Bride arrives back at Budd's trailer and spots Elle Driver arriving, Elle gives Budd a suitcase with the money for the sword, but also a black mamba, The snake
bites Budd, as he lies dying and unable to move Elle explains her regret that the Bride had to die at the hands of Budd, and deserved a better ending. Budd finally dies, and Elle calls
Bill, and tells him of Budd's death, and the final resting place of Beatrix Kiddo (The Bride's real name finally revealed).
She is set to leave when Beatrix attacks her, a fight ensues, destroying most of the trailer. Elle uses Beatrix's own sword against her, but Beatrix finds Budd's sword. As they stand off, Elle reveals that Pai Mei (who had also taught her) snatched out her eye for calling him a "miserable old fool"
Got your nose!....um oops....damn white women
She then reveals that she poisoned him.
They continue to fight until Beatrix rips out Elle's other eye leaving her to writher on the floor blind.
Now you see me, now you don't (huh, that was good..right?... right?)
Beatrix travels to Mexico and visits Esteban Vihaio, a pimp who raised Bill, He tells Beatrix where to find Bill. When she arrives she is shocked to find B.B., her daughter still alive, the family spends the evening together in peace.
We'll be right back to Killer Children on FOX
Bill and Beatrix sit down outside, Bill admits he overreacted towards the situation, Beatrix still in disbelief over what Bill has done and insists she finishes her business. A small sword fight ensues, Bill thrusts to stab Beatrix, but she catches it and disables Bill with the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.
Yeeep, pooped myself
Bill, defeated says his goodbyes and takes his
final steps to his death. Beatrix sheds a few tears and returns to the house for her daughter.
Later, B.B. is watching cartoons in a motel, while Beatrix cries on the bathroom floor, she collects herself, and watches cartoons with B.B. both of them smile as the film ends.
"The lioness has rejoined her cub and all is right in the jungle"
3 out of 4 severed arms
Next movie: Daredevil
Kill Bill Vol.2
Volume 2 starts recaping the events of volume 1 and the bride driving to the last person on her death list, BILL!
Here in my car I feel safest of all, do do do, do do do.
chapter 6 The Massacre at Two Pines shows the Bride and her friends at her wedding reharsal, The Bride finds Bill in front of the chapel, he is kind and polite. The Bride asks Bill to be able to move on from her life of assassination, and Bill appears to consent. She takes her place at the altar as The Deadly Vipers arrive outside the chapel and kill everyone at the rehearsal....or so they think!
Chapter 7 begins with Bill warning his brother Budd a former Viper, now overweight and living in a trailer, that the Bride is on her way to mess his crap up, The Bride arrives ready for
some killin', but Budd is anticipating her arrival and shoots her in the chest with rock salt and injects her with a sedative (this is how Im usually greeted). Budd calls Elle Driver and makes a deal to sell The Brides Hanzo sword for 1 million dollar dollar bills ya'll. Budd then lays The Bride to rest in a "Texas funeral", burying her alive in someone else's grave.
This is NOT the tanning salon
The End.
....Oh wait no, no there's more, sorry about that.
In Chapter 8 The Bride reminses her early training with legendary martial artist Pai Mei an eldery master who could perform the fatal attack "Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique"
which he has taught to no one, not even Bill. According to Bill, Pai Mei hates "white folk, hates yankees, and is a sexist" not an exact quote. Despite this he takes in The Bride and teaches her how to whip some ass. She eventually gains his respect.
White bitch!
Now back to that pesky grave, The Bride uses the power of gray skull, I mean her Pai Mei training techniques to break out of the coffin and claw her way to the surface.
Chapter 9, untitled "Elle and I" The Bride arrives back at Budd's trailer and spots Elle Driver arriving, Elle gives Budd a suitcase with the money for the sword, but also a black mamba, The snake
bites Budd, as he lies dying and unable to move Elle explains her regret that the Bride had to die at the hands of Budd, and deserved a better ending. Budd finally dies, and Elle calls
Bill, and tells him of Budd's death, and the final resting place of Beatrix Kiddo (The Bride's real name finally revealed).
She is set to leave when Beatrix attacks her, a fight ensues, destroying most of the trailer. Elle uses Beatrix's own sword against her, but Beatrix finds Budd's sword. As they stand off, Elle reveals that Pai Mei (who had also taught her) snatched out her eye for calling him a "miserable old fool"
Got your nose!....um oops....damn white women
She then reveals that she poisoned him.
They continue to fight until Beatrix rips out Elle's other eye leaving her to writher on the floor blind.
Now you see me, now you don't (huh, that was good..right?... right?)
Beatrix travels to Mexico and visits Esteban Vihaio, a pimp who raised Bill, He tells Beatrix where to find Bill. When she arrives she is shocked to find B.B., her daughter still alive, the family spends the evening together in peace.
We'll be right back to Killer Children on FOX
Bill and Beatrix sit down outside, Bill admits he overreacted towards the situation, Beatrix still in disbelief over what Bill has done and insists she finishes her business. A small sword fight ensues, Bill thrusts to stab Beatrix, but she catches it and disables Bill with the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.
Yeeep, pooped myself
Bill, defeated says his goodbyes and takes his
final steps to his death. Beatrix sheds a few tears and returns to the house for her daughter.
Later, B.B. is watching cartoons in a motel, while Beatrix cries on the bathroom floor, she collects herself, and watches cartoons with B.B. both of them smile as the film ends.
"The lioness has rejoined her cub and all is right in the jungle"
3 out of 4 severed arms
Next movie: Daredevil
